Fill your own cup

Posted in Inspiration, Thoughts & Stories by

my new pretty lovely water bottle - beautiful to look at, inspiring me to drink more water!

Have you ever seen something and thought “I have to have that!” but you don’t buy it and then you can’t stop thinking about it?  That was the case with this here lovely. 

I’ve really been trying to drink a lot more water lately and with all the “don’t use plastic water bottle” messages and scary BPA negative health effects, I try to keep reusable tumblers at my desk at work.  For a while my daily routine was a glass of juice in the morning, a cup of coffee (or three) in the office and a glass of wine at night.  I was getting no hydration at all during the day – caught up in work, too busy to even fill my cup.  So now I have this beautiful glass water bottle to inspire me and remind me to fill my own cup. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about stress, work/life balance, being a better manager, leader and employee, serving others better and more effectively and then settled on this: how can I serve myself better?  If I’m happier, more productive, healthy, that’s how I can better serve others.  So, my new question is “what do I need to do today to be happy and feel successful?”  I’d challenge you to ask yourself the same thing.  It’s so often that I get into the office, get wrapped up in answering other people’s emails that I don’t have time to do the most important things I had on my own list of things to do. 

Speaking of which, writing is something I’ve been seriously slacking on too, and I can tell because I feel similarly to how Mumbles does when he doesn’t get to exercise enough – lathargic and kinda cranky. Writing is one of the many creative outlets I love so I also scooped up this darling retro and bold lovely to inspire me to jot down creative inspirations, thoughts and ideas throughout the day. 

the paper has lines of type that say “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” – a good reminder to get creative throughout my work day!
What do you keep with you to inspire creativity and good-for-you thoughts and behaviors?

Stress & the 3 things happy people have in common

Posted in Thoughts & Stories by

Did you know that prior to 1960 the term “stress” did not exist outside of architectural references (ie: stress on a building)?  Now, it’s nearly impossible to get through a day without hearing the word stress.

At the 3rd Annual Women’s Conference held at Cal State Fullerton (my alma mater), I attended a session about stress and achieving a work/life balance led by Kristin Welsh-Simpson, the Senior Employee Assistance Counselor with the U.S. House of Representatives Office of Employee Assistance.  She gave great, sensible advice for women who have very busy lives and wish to have peace and balance in their daily life (isn’t that everyone?). Simpson, also a certified executive coach and a mom of three boys (this lady knows what she’s talking about!), is devoted to taking time out of her busy schedule to help women achieve this peace of mind.

I took a lot away from her practical and approachable talk and thought I should share some of her great ideas for erasing stress from our lives and achieving a better work/life balance.  Check out my post with her tips here.

Also, I loved this…3 things happy people have in common:
o        Something to DO
o        Something to LOVE
o        Something to LOOK FORWARD TO

The Bachelor Recap: After the Final Rose, season 15

Posted in The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by

Let’s skip through the first part where Chris Harrison says pointless, obvious facts and get to Chantal out in the hot seat, reliving the hurt and humiliation that comes with falling in love on reality tv. She confronts Brad about stringing her along, keeping her around because she was fun.  There’s gotta be a winner and a loser for the show to work so it might as well be someone fun, right? She’s very emotional and Brad tries to console her but he’s careful not to do anything to piss off princess Emily backstage. Despite the tears and snot covering her face apparently Chantal is happy with a new man back in Seattle and he’s everything she’s ever wanted. No pressure, dude.

Brad says he is more in love with Emily than he has been in his entire life.  Yay, audience cheers.  Chris breaks the news to the audience that Brad and Emily broke up and have had really hard times, all while almost getting married twice. Boo, audience is very sad and confused. Brad explains that they have a very real relationship and that comes with ups and downs. Chris asks if he considers himself engaged to Emily and he takes a roundabout way to reply that he can’t speak for her but in his eyes “yes.” He seems unsure. That’s even more awkward.  Brad alludes sarcastically to the fact that Emily is not the sweet, Southern Belle that the producers painted her to be on the show.  I believe him. When Emily comes out so do the claws and there are definitely some restrained fighting words whispered back and forth between her and Brad.  I think I see a few eye rolls too. She confirms that it hasn’t been all roses but claims she’s in love, they’re still engaged (Brad is visibly relieved) but she’s not ready to get married (her exact words: “I love you, but noooooo.” Ouch.) and she’s not ready to move Austin right now.  The audience boos loudly (again). Even more awkward.  It’s all a bit confusing. I wonder if they’re already in couples therapy. Actually, I’m a bit surprised his tv therapist didn’t make an appearance. 

Emily says she watched the show and felt like Brad should have picked Chantal because they had so much fun together.  She was a bit of a complainer noting that she would have appeared to be fun and adventurous if she got to go on dates swimming with sharks, which I’m not quite understanding because she won (Brad’s heart) – it’s not like she was sent home and she’s upset she was set up to appear dull. 

Emily cautiously explains that Brad has a bad temper and that’s one of the things he needs to work on before they get married.  She says his family warned her, asking if she’d “poked the bear” yet. She now knows what that means, as both she and Brad fess up to having “knock down, drag out fights” that are “volatile”…geesh, sounds like love to me!  On top of that Emily is seemingly carrying a grudge knowing that Brad said he fell in love early with her, now wishing he would have saved “certain things” just for her.  Ruh-roh.

It seems like they’re in a weird place. I respect them for not coming out and smiling and telling America that everything is all bunnies and sunshine and roses and they can’t wait to get married to just see them split a few weeks later (a la The London Bachelor and his “monkey” fiancée Shayne Lamas).  Clearly they aren’t living together (let alone living in the same city) with no real plans to do so anytime soon, which means they haven’t been given an opportunity to test their relationship out in the real world and also that Brad hasn’t been spending time with Emily’s daughter. And that’s all fine but then it confuses me as to why Brad would talk about wanting to get married while the show was taping or during the ATFR episode.  They never did explain that. More bizarre talk about their possible future wedding and they keep having to look at each other to see if they’re on the same page…or even reading the same book.

Then Chris Harrison brings out Ali & Roberto, Jason & Molly, and Trista & Ryan to keep their Google rank numbers up give them support and encouragement to get through all the tabloid fodder and reality tv to reality transition. I wish that Molly or Jason would have just flat out said “The first step to starting your real relationship would be to move to Austin.” They did the long distance thing too. I’m being honest here (such a Brad thing to say) but no one believes their relationship will last or even be serious unless she moves to Austin.  Not necessarily living with him but at least to be dating seriously and seeing Ricki on a regular basis. 

Chris asks what we’ve all been wondering since she stepped out on stage: why isn’t Emily wearing her ring?  Brad answers by pulling it out of his jacket pocket, telling Emily he’s had it sized to fit her and slips it on her finger.  Aww…it’s either sweet or a “this is a good story so please just go with it” and act like we’re engaged moment.

So, do you think they’ll last?  I hate to say it but I give it 2 months.

No announcement of the next Bachelorette during the show but it’s all over the news today that Ashley H., the artist dentist (nay, dental school student) is the newly recycled cast off that will get another chance to find her dream man. I don’t know why I still keep all my fingers and toes crossed for them to find a fresh one.  Stay tuned, friends, the first episode airs May 23.  Will you watch?

The Bachelor Recap: final episode & proposal, season 15

Posted in The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by

Brad is reunited with his family in South Africa and starts crying uncontrollably, unable to contain himself enough to sit down.  I chuckle when I see Brad’s twin brother Chad because all I can remember is Brad’s first season when he tricked the girls by having his twin take his place, pretending to be him.  Good stuff.

Brad says he’s falling in love and is 100% considering proposing. His family feigns dramatic shock and emphasizes how much of a new man he is.

Chantal arrives first.  She tells the story of how they fell in love in Costa Rica in the pouring rain running back to the hotel room to…uh, well, just talk for hours…

Wes thinks Chantal clicks with the family and that she’s very attractive and vibrant.  Wes and Chad get some alone time and they tell her that Brad said he is planning on proposing. 

Mom asks what everyone wants to know: “how could you fall in love so quick?”  Chantal says it’s easy to fall in love because of what she went through in her divorce working to find herself, now knowing what and who she wants is what led her to a place where it was easy to fall in love with Brad because he’s everything she wants and needs.

That seems to get the stamp of approval from mom.

Brad says he wasn’t nervous about Chantal but he is a bit on edge about them meeting Emily because of her past. I did notice that Emily didn’t get hugs but Wes explains that Emily seems much more reserved than Chantal.  Then again later Wes, as a parent himself, is concerned about how much it would affect Emily and her daughter to move to Austin.

It gets really emotional around the table as questions unfold in a natural way about how Ricki’s father would feel about Emily and Ricki moving to Texas.  Emily shares her story and there are tears welling up in everyone’s eyes, with a new found respect for Emily and what she’s been through to get here.

Brad reassures his brothers that he welcomes the opportunity to be a father.  His brothers are surprised. Wes says “I left this place yesterday feeling like my brother was ready to be a husband and now I realize that he’s also ready to be a full blown father.”

Mom pulls Emily aside and tells her how much she respects her for being hesitant about letting Brad meet her daughter and also for allowing him to.  Emily expresses her gratitude in meeting Brad and how much of a blessing he’s been to her even in this short time together.  Mom loses it when Emily tells her that Brad is her angel. She knows Emily has had a very difficult time so Brad’s mom is rooting for her, hoping she’ll have a happy ending.

As for the brothers, I know they are on Team Emily too.  I can see the restraint in Chad’s face because he totally wants to blurt out “she’s way hotter, dude!” …trust me. I can see it in his eyes.

 Mom gives her vote on Emily.  Brad says if his mom could pick a woman for him it would be Emily.  At this point it’s in the bag. 

On his date day with Chantal Brad says his family thinks Emily is the one but he’s looking for Chantal to show him she’s the one today.  It’s totally over and I know it when she goes barreling towards him and tries to jump in his arms and he is struggling.  Not romantic, and quite frankly, kinda scary. As my smart friend Matt Prince stated so eloquently on Facebook yesterday, “No matter what decision Brad makes tonight he will be dealing with 50 unexpected lbs…for Emily it’s her daughter, for Chantal it’s the weight she’s gained since the first episode.” It’s true. It also may explain why Brad chose to take Chantal swimming with the sharks. Either he knew they’d go for her meaty body first or he wanted her covered up in a wet suit.  Just like with the snorkeling on their first one on one date, he took her to face her fears and she overcame them for him. 

Chantal gives Brad a map she made showing all the places they’ve been – she says it shows that she has traveled the world for his love.  She also wrote him a mushy love letter – front and back (but not 18 pages, a la Rachel Green).  Brad says it was very sweet.  Chantal says she needs Brad to tell her he loves her. He calls it a night and never said the “L” word so she’s desperately holding onto hope that she’ll hear it the next time they see each other.

Brad’s family chose Emily and he says he is still exploring his feelings with Emily – he needs to feel confident at the end of today. He takes Emily to the Cape of Good Hope via helicopter, naturally. It’s really windy and I’m pretty sure every guy in America forced into watching The Bachelor is sitting on the edge of the couch, eagerly hoping for the wind to blow her short shirtdress up. He tells her that his family really loved her and Emily realizes that she is letting her insecurities get the best of her and it’s all downhill from there.  What seems to be the most serious, real conversation they have and should be having is going disastrously.  Brad seems upset that she’s looking for the reassurance that he’s actually thought about what it will take to become a stepfather. Brad makes it very clear that he wants to be Ricki’s dad and Emily comes back with a lot of warnings that being a parent isn’t always fun or glamorous. Brad is very frustrated.  He asks Emily if she’s ready to let somebody in. She says “not somebody, but you.” It seems as if his anger is getting the best of him so now he’s trying to push the blame onto her for these hesitant feelings.  Emily knows her head is sabotaging her heart and Brad walks away defeated from his night with Emily.

Neil Lane arrives the next morning with the rings for Brad to choose from. Brad picks out a stunning sparkler of rock with a split shank band.

Brad is very confident, excited, scared, and happy about being in love.  The clue to his choosing Emily is when he says he knows he’s in love and he just hopes she loves him back.  I think everyone in America is confident that Chantal loves Brad. 

Chantal, it appears, is doomed to be the first girl out of the limo yet again.  And yeah, that’s sad and all, but all I can think is “Chunky gold shoes with that dress? Really?” 

Brad gives his “you’re so great” speech and then transitions into the “here’s where it gets tough” part and explains that he has stronger feelings for someone else and immediately the tears fly.  Brad tries to reassure her by asking “are you alright?” which at this moment in time is probably the worst thing he could ask. No, Brad, no she’s not alright.  I wish that Chris Harrison would’ve popped out just to say that.  Would’ve been perfect!  Brad continues to tell Chantal that the connection they had was very real and she didn’t do anything wrong. I think Brad might have to call Chantal’s dad and break up with him too. If you’ll remember, they too had quite the connection. Chantal wonders how she could have felt Brad was The One when Brad didn’t even love her. Someone get this woman a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s, stat!

Now that the sad part is over, Brad is all smiles when he sees Emily walking toward him.  It takes him quite a while to get out his rehearsed speech, telling her about a promise he made to himself to take a leap of faith if he found even just a glimpse of love. He says, “And all it took for me was coming here and finding you. You’re it; you’re The One. You’re so much more than a leap of faith. You’re my once in a lifetime.”

And his proposal went like this:

Please give me your forever.
Please let me be your best friend.
Please let me protect you and your beautiful daughter,
And please give me the opportunity to love you for the rest of your life.
I love you, Emily.
(on bended knee)
Please make me happier than I’ve ever been in my life and marry me.”

And she says “I’d love to!” and has to do the awkward bend at the waist to kiss him. She straightens up and he puts the ring on her finger. She says she loves it and it’s perfect.  Cue the montage of their love story unfolded in Bachelor episode clips to the tune of Train’s “Marry Me.”
So, what did you think? Were you rooting for Chantal? Did you know it would be Emily?    How do you feel about them not really dealing with the real issues of what their life will be like together as a family with a daughter?