“Hey”

My coworker showed me this awesome cat video (I know, right? What it is about cat videos that are so endlessly hilarious?) This one is no exception — the cat that says “hey:”

I was almost in tears (especially when it zooms in and softly says “hey”) and then I felt pathetic because all those “hey”s reminded me of the sappy Felicity series final tribute. Did you ever watch that show? LOVED it!

Happy Friday, friends!

 

P.S. Team Ben or Team Noel?

Thoughts on The Bachelor – The Last Juan

Ay yi yi. What a way to go. And what a flop of a season, right? The headlines this morning are hilarious…
‘The Bachelor’ implodes in real time during most awkward finale ever, thanks to Juan Pablo”
Juan Pablo Makes His Pick And It’s Okay?”
“‘The Bachelor’ season finale recap: Bait and Ditch

Bachelor Final Rose

Here are some of my thoughts from last night’s finale…
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No Love for Juan Pablo’s Hometown Dates

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Friends, did you watch last night’s Hometown Date episode?

I don’t have a full-fledged recap this week for Hometown dates because
a) I have a four-month-old
b) I could hardly keep my eyes open to watch the show let alone write about it
c) there’s another episode tonight and
d)  it was the most boring episode I can recall in many a Bachelor Hometown Date history.

I mean, aside from discovering that Clare must have had major plastic surgery to escape the ugly genes in her family, there was no big revelation. No difficult encounters, really, except for Andi’s dad who was honestly just being a good dad. It’s understandable that any parent would be cautious and suspicious of a dude asking if he could maybe, if the time is right, and I run it by my daughter, and I ditch these other three babes, if then I decide to propose, would you be cool with that? Dad’s answer: Uhhh…get back to me after all that other bullshit and then we’ll talk. Mmmkay? I would’ve loved it even more if Andi’s dad had a rifle propped up against the wall by the front door. Just to, ya know, reinforce the message that he ain’t messin’ around. And, to his credit, his daughter knows how to handle a gun herself. By the looks of it, she’s not one to tolerate any BS either (we’ll see if the promos for tonight’s episode are correct).

So, what did you think about Hometowns? I felt bad for Renee, but come on, you saw that coming. And she’s a classy broad. If Clare and Juan Pabs do get married and end up having kids of their own, Juan Pablo might discover that she secretly had plastic surgery when their kids turn out ugly. It happened to this guy – maybe – and so the story goes that he successfully sued his wife for being ugly having deceived him with plastic surgery only to be found out when they produced ugly offspring. (I mean, yeah, I feel for the guy a bit. He thinks he’s marrying a hottie and he’s a looker himself and his kids are growing up and he’s like “dang, why are my kids so ugly?”)

Speaking of kids, the one thing that really irked me during all four of the hometown dates is that there was no serious talking about parenthood or about taking on the role of being a step-mom. Nikki is the only one that even flippantly mentions it to her BFF mom, but then again she’s the only one who met Camila so she’s like “yeah, met the chick, she’s cool, I’m good.” Not one of these girls is even questioning getting engaged to this guy and they haven’t even spent quality time with his daughter, let alone him. (Love Andi’s dad for continuously pointing out and questioning why his daughter has only had a single one-on-one date — it’s equal parts pride in his daughter’s awesomeness and part pissed off she isn’t winning).  I mean, Juan Pablo won’t frolic in the ocean because he wants to set a good example for his daughter but he’ll bring home a fiance with a ring on her finger?

And Nikki…well, I think she might win this thing. Meeting Camila last week blew my mind. I still can’t get over it. Maybe our boy JP likes the idea of having a nurse around to help him raise his daughter safely. And, she’s around kids all day so she’s used to not speaking in full, articulate sentences. She and Juan Pablo get along great.

Tune in tonight for Fantasy Suites!

Oh, and here’s Juan Pablo being all-around adorable with the yellow M&M:

p.s. you got that I was just kidding about Clare having plastic surgery, right?  Or did she? Seriously, it’s hard to believe she is the single sister in that household. 

The Bachelor Recap episode 3 – Juan Pablo

bachelor-recap-ep3

Welp, I told you this season was going to be really rough for me. Case in point? Last night, Mumbles and I went to bed at 8 in the p.m.  I didn’t even realize until I woke up for a 1 a.m. feeding that the night before was Monday and I missed my couch date with our fave guy, Juan Pablo.  Oops.  Also, Declan must be going through some sort of growth spurt or teething or something because little dude was up every hour last night. Every hour. Today was rough.

We’re down to 15 gals for our guy Juan P.  Here’s how it went…

Juan-On-One Date: “Love is a wild ride.” – Cassandra

“I haven’t had a first date since I was 18 years old.” — Cassandra

Juan Pabs seems to think Cassandra is a little shy. I happen to think she’s a bit vapid. They’re entire date she’s half giggling in surprise and exclaiming “ohmigod!” It makes a lot more sense when she further explains that the last date she keeps talking about – the one at age 18 if you didn’t hear her the forty times she said it – was only a mere three years ago. She’s 21. She can hardly drink all that alcohol the show provides.

Their date is pretty epic as we discover that the funky looking jeep-like vehicle is actually an amphibious car — and it really hauls. Looks awesome. Again, I say these producers are getting cleverer with their dates. Well done, people!

Following their afternoon in the water (we only get a glimpse of a makeout session), the date continues at his residence with homecooked dinner and dancing. For dessert they try a bunch of chocolates and get out their brag books (well, she has photo prints – so old school for such a young’un! but Juan Pablo is allowed to have his phone. Did you know that the contestants aren’t allowed to have phone access?)

I’m not quite sure I understand Cassandra’s spastic kissing style but apparently he’s into it because she gets a rose.

Group Date: “Let’s kick it!” – Kelly, Renee, Sharleen, Danielle, Alli, Lauren, Andi, Christy, Lucy, and Nikki

It’s not clear why Juan Pablo quit playing soccer after his daughter was born, but clearly he still loves it. And clearly he’s still in shape. This would’ve been the perfect chance for ABC to get some shirts versus skin action on screen but somehow we aren’t that lucky.

Juan Pablo coaches the girls through some practice drills, Alli feels like she’s a cut above the rest since she’s played soccer her entire life but the other girls aren’t going to sit on the sidelines. It gets brutal. It’s tough to watch. Sharleen is taking more balls to the face than…well, you see where I was going with that.

Nikki sits down for some alone time but she seems rushed and a bit abrasive compared to his calm, cool, collected style.

Andi and Juan Pablo sneak behind a concession counter where she confesses that things got a bit more serious for her today. Amidst the hot dogs and nacho cheese (mmmm…nacho cheese), Juan Pablo sneaks a hot kiss with Andi. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much my dream right there.

Alli wants four or five kids – she’s sucking up when she says she wants to build a little soccer team.

Danielle shares she was adopted when she was two days old. But that’s all we get to know about that.

Juan Pablo tells Sharleen she’s got class and he likes that. And then he goes in for the kiss and she doesn’t quite look like she likes that. Or maybe she wasn’t ready for it? Either way, it was weird. And then she asks for another because she’s “not quite sure.”

The group date rose goes to Nikki and she is surprised, along with Andi and Sharleen who wonder what else they have to do with [soccer] balls to get a rose around this joint.

Juan-On-One Date: “Do you trust me?” – Chelsie

After singing and dancing in the car, then stuffing their faces with Venezuelan food, what else is there to do but hurl yourself off a bridge to see if it all comes up?  (Sad side note: the bridge is near where I grew up and had a reputation for jumpers…so much so that it is known as Suicide Bridge – not very romantic, ey?) Juan Pablo is using his best sexy, soothing voice to urge Chelsie to jump but whenever she responds to his quiet coos to console her, she’s practically yelling in his ear.  And then she’s crying. And then they’re jumping. And you know how the story goes: now she’s super duper happy she trusted him and took the leap. And then they make out upside down.

That night they have a romantic candle-lit dinner at Pasadena City Hall, which is actually way prettier than it sounds. At this point in the show, Mumbles wonders aloud how easy it would be to be the music guy on this show — “lots of simple piano tunes,” he says, “I could probably do that.”

Chelsie gets the rose because according to Juan Pablo she’s fun, she smiles and she cares about people. Cute.

And wait! There’s more! Just when she thinks it can’t get any better…Juan Pablo surprises Chelsie with a private concert by Billy Currington (an artist she actually knows and likes!). She seems genuinely thrilled and happy to be singing and dancing, clutching that rose.

Juan Pablo declares Chelsie to be “a keeper” and I gotta say, they do look sweet together.

Pool Party:
Juan Pablo sneaks into the mansion to make a traditional Venezuelan breakfast as a surprise for the girls. It’s a fun little social experiment to see who wakes up looking good with no makeup on. Smart man.

Then, instead of a formal, stuffy cocktail party, Juan Pablo declares that he’d like to mix it up with a pool party before the rose ceremony. Getting to see the girls in their bikinis before handing out roses…that Juan Pablo is much, much smarter than we all give him credit for!

It’s not long before the girls have all picked the girl in the house they love to hate: Kat.

Sharleen is the girl this season that is struggling with the cameras and the fierce competition. Next thing you know she’s sniffling into Juan Pablo’s shoulder. And he might be speaking English but it’s probably sexier to assume he’s whispering sweet nothings in Spanish to console her. And, oh! what do you know that the next minute she’s keeping watch to make sure the other girls can’t see them making out. So, Sharleen seems to be the manipulative one this season.

When Clare needs to cry in the bathroom for a while, surprise surprise, house mom Renee is the first to her rescue. Funny thing is Clare is pissed about not getting face time with Mr. Bachelor, yet she’s hiding out behind closed doors.  I do not envy these Bachelors who pretty much need a double major in Women’s Studies and Psychology to juggle all the emotions and estrogen.  Whew…that’s rough.

Roses:

  • Cassandra
  • Nikki
  • Chelsie
  • Andi
  • Renee
  • Kelly
  • Sharleen
  • Elise
  • Kat
  • Allison
  • Clare
  • Lauren
  • Danielle

Going home: Lucy and Christy.  

Next week: South Korea, Sharleen sings, Clare gets clingy, and oh, the crying.

P.S. Don’t forget to watch Sean & Catherine’s wedding, which will air on Sunday at 8 p.m.

P.P.S. Our Bachelor is quite controversial, no? 

The Bachelorette After the Final Rose – Desiree

Desiree comes out in bridal white, flashing a happy smile and her shiny engagement ring. Here’s the interesting updates from After the Final Rose:

Brooks faces Desiree for the first time after breaking her heart leaving Antigua. Brooks says that watching the show back was difficult but Des commends him for being so honest, which is what helped her to move on. As far as regrets go, Brooks is easy on himself and Desiree is easy on the situation as well.  Oddly enough, Brooks didn’t know what had happened so Desiree had to say “Well, you leaving was actually really great.” And when she tells Brooks that she’s engaged to Chris, he says he’s not surprised at all.  A very easy, uninteresting interview actually.

Drew‘s interview is long and drawn out and there’s really not much you can say about it. It wasn’t there. He’s fine. She’s fine. He wants her to be happy. She wants him to be happy.  And the “could I have done something different?”  “No.”  “Drew, are you still in love with Des?” “No. But…I have nothing but love for you.” The end.

Chris comes out and Chris Harrison waits a whole one minute before bringing up Brooks. Way to ruin a moment, guy.  Once we see how happy the newly engaged couple is to be reunited again, we get to rewatch their proposal.  Cute.  But we just saw it five minutes ago, so thanks for that.  New developments: Desiree is moving to Seattle this weekend. They got a new place so they’ll have a fresh start to their new life together. (read: I didn’t want any of his crap).  In true Chris fashion, he’s written a poem for Desiree, framed with dried rose petals from each of the rose ceremonies.  Super sappy but they seem happy.

The next Bachelor is….Juan Pablo!   I’m telling you, the accent wins every time.  Here’s what you need to know: Juan Pablo is 32, he grew up in Venezuela, he was a professional soccer player, he moved to Miami, had a daughter who is now 4 years old, and he speaks highly of his daughter’s mom.  Juan Pablo wants to a) find a stepmom for his daughter and b) wants more kids.  He’s finding it hard to be a single dad and find a good mate, which I’d assume is just because he’s so good looking that he doesn’t ever settle down, but apparently, he’s ready to be a one-woman man and make more babies. I think there’s plenty of ladies out there looking for a little Latin flair in their life.  Juan Pablo seems a little overwhelmed/scared about the throngs of women yelling and screaming. I almost expected some panty flinging on stage.   I expect we’ll see a lot of kissing next season because Juan Pablo is a little hard to understand (though I don’t think the ladies will be complaining). We’ll have to wait until January to see how crazy it gets.