My coworker showed me this awesome cat video (I know, right? What it is about cat videos that are so endlessly hilarious?) This one is no exception — the cat that says “hey:”
I was almost in tears (especially when it zooms in and softly says “hey”) and then I felt pathetic because all those “hey”s reminded me of the sappy Felicity series final tribute. Did you ever watch that show? LOVED it!
Happy Friday, friends!
P.S. Team Ben or Team Noel?
Ay yi yi. What a way to go. And what a flop of a season, right? The headlines this morning are hilarious…
“‘The Bachelor’ implodes in real time during most awkward finale ever, thanks to Juan Pablo”
“Juan Pablo Makes His Pick And It’s Okay?”
“‘The Bachelor’ season finale recap: Bait and Ditch”
Here are some of my thoughts from last night’s finale…
Continue reading
Friends, did you watch last night’s Hometown Date episode?
I don’t have a full-fledged recap this week for Hometown dates because
a) I have a four-month-old
b) I could hardly keep my eyes open to watch the show let alone write about it
c) there’s another episode tonight and
d) it was the most boring episode I can recall in many a Bachelor Hometown Date history.
I mean, aside from discovering that Clare must have had major plastic surgery to escape the ugly genes in her family, there was no big revelation. No difficult encounters, really, except for Andi’s dad who was honestly just being a good dad. It’s understandable that any parent would be cautious and suspicious of a dude asking if he could maybe, if the time is right, and I run it by my daughter, and I ditch these other three babes, if then I decide to propose, would you be cool with that? Dad’s answer: Uhhh…get back to me after all that other bullshit and then we’ll talk. Mmmkay? I would’ve loved it even more if Andi’s dad had a rifle propped up against the wall by the front door. Just to, ya know, reinforce the message that he ain’t messin’ around. And, to his credit, his daughter knows how to handle a gun herself. By the looks of it, she’s not one to tolerate any BS either (we’ll see if the promos for tonight’s episode are correct).
So, what did you think about Hometowns? I felt bad for Renee, but come on, you saw that coming. And she’s a classy broad. If Clare and Juan Pabs do get married and end up having kids of their own, Juan Pablo might discover that she secretly had plastic surgery when their kids turn out ugly. It happened to this guy – maybe – and so the story goes that he successfully sued his wife for being ugly having deceived him with plastic surgery only to be found out when they produced ugly offspring. (I mean, yeah, I feel for the guy a bit. He thinks he’s marrying a hottie and he’s a looker himself and his kids are growing up and he’s like “dang, why are my kids so ugly?”)
Speaking of kids, the one thing that really irked me during all four of the hometown dates is that there was no serious talking about parenthood or about taking on the role of being a step-mom. Nikki is the only one that even flippantly mentions it to her BFF mom, but then again she’s the only one who met Camila so she’s like “yeah, met the chick, she’s cool, I’m good.” Not one of these girls is even questioning getting engaged to this guy and they haven’t even spent quality time with his daughter, let alone him. (Love Andi’s dad for continuously pointing out and questioning why his daughter has only had a single one-on-one date — it’s equal parts pride in his daughter’s awesomeness and part pissed off she isn’t winning). I mean, Juan Pablo won’t frolic in the ocean because he wants to set a good example for his daughter but he’ll bring home a fiance with a ring on her finger?
And Nikki…well, I think she might win this thing. Meeting Camila last week blew my mind. I still can’t get over it. Maybe our boy JP likes the idea of having a nurse around to help him raise his daughter safely. And, she’s around kids all day so she’s used to not speaking in full, articulate sentences. She and Juan Pablo get along great.
Tune in tonight for Fantasy Suites!
Oh, and here’s Juan Pablo being all-around adorable with the yellow M&M:
p.s. you got that I was just kidding about Clare having plastic surgery, right? Or did she? Seriously, it’s hard to believe she is the single sister in that household.
Welp, I told you this season was going to be really rough for me. Case in point? Last night, Mumbles and I went to bed at 8 in the p.m. I didn’t even realize until I woke up for a 1 a.m. feeding that the night before was Monday and I missed my couch date with our fave guy, Juan Pablo. Oops. Also, Declan must be going through some sort of growth spurt or teething or something because little dude was up every hour last night. Every hour. Today was rough.
We’re down to 15 gals for our guy Juan P. Here’s how it went…
Juan-On-One Date: “Love is a wild ride.” – Cassandra
“I haven’t had a first date since I was 18 years old.” — Cassandra
Juan Pabs seems to think Cassandra is a little shy. I happen to think she’s a bit vapid. They’re entire date she’s half giggling in surprise and exclaiming “ohmigod!” It makes a lot more sense when she further explains that the last date she keeps talking about – the one at age 18 if you didn’t hear her the forty times she said it – was only a mere three years ago. She’s 21. She can hardly drink all that alcohol the show provides.
Their date is pretty epic as we discover that the funky looking jeep-like vehicle is actually an amphibious car — and it really hauls. Looks awesome. Again, I say these producers are getting cleverer with their dates. Well done, people!
Following their afternoon in the water (we only get a glimpse of a makeout session), the date continues at his residence with homecooked dinner and dancing. For dessert they try a bunch of chocolates and get out their brag books (well, she has photo prints – so old school for such a young’un! but Juan Pablo is allowed to have his phone. Did you know that the contestants aren’t allowed to have phone access?)
I’m not quite sure I understand Cassandra’s spastic kissing style but apparently he’s into it because she gets a rose.
Group Date: “Let’s kick it!” – Kelly, Renee, Sharleen, Danielle, Alli, Lauren, Andi, Christy, Lucy, and Nikki
It’s not clear why Juan Pablo quit playing soccer after his daughter was born, but clearly he still loves it. And clearly he’s still in shape. This would’ve been the perfect chance for ABC to get some shirts versus skin action on screen but somehow we aren’t that lucky.
Juan Pablo coaches the girls through some practice drills, Alli feels like she’s a cut above the rest since she’s played soccer her entire life but the other girls aren’t going to sit on the sidelines. It gets brutal. It’s tough to watch. Sharleen is taking more balls to the face than…well, you see where I was going with that.
Nikki sits down for some alone time but she seems rushed and a bit abrasive compared to his calm, cool, collected style.
Andi and Juan Pablo sneak behind a concession counter where she confesses that things got a bit more serious for her today. Amidst the hot dogs and nacho cheese (mmmm…nacho cheese), Juan Pablo sneaks a hot kiss with Andi. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much my dream right there.
Alli wants four or five kids – she’s sucking up when she says she wants to build a little soccer team.
Danielle shares she was adopted when she was two days old. But that’s all we get to know about that.
Juan Pablo tells Sharleen she’s got class and he likes that. And then he goes in for the kiss and she doesn’t quite look like she likes that. Or maybe she wasn’t ready for it? Either way, it was weird. And then she asks for another because she’s “not quite sure.”
The group date rose goes to Nikki and she is surprised, along with Andi and Sharleen who wonder what else they have to do with [soccer] balls to get a rose around this joint.
Juan-On-One Date: “Do you trust me?” – Chelsie
After singing and dancing in the car, then stuffing their faces with Venezuelan food, what else is there to do but hurl yourself off a bridge to see if it all comes up? (Sad side note: the bridge is near where I grew up and had a reputation for jumpers…so much so that it is known as Suicide Bridge – not very romantic, ey?) Juan Pablo is using his best sexy, soothing voice to urge Chelsie to jump but whenever she responds to his quiet coos to console her, she’s practically yelling in his ear. And then she’s crying. And then they’re jumping. And you know how the story goes: now she’s super duper happy she trusted him and took the leap. And then they make out upside down.
That night they have a romantic candle-lit dinner at Pasadena City Hall, which is actually way prettier than it sounds. At this point in the show, Mumbles wonders aloud how easy it would be to be the music guy on this show — “lots of simple piano tunes,” he says, “I could probably do that.”
Chelsie gets the rose because according to Juan Pablo she’s fun, she smiles and she cares about people. Cute.
And wait! There’s more! Just when she thinks it can’t get any better…Juan Pablo surprises Chelsie with a private concert by Billy Currington (an artist she actually knows and likes!). She seems genuinely thrilled and happy to be singing and dancing, clutching that rose.
Juan Pablo declares Chelsie to be “a keeper” and I gotta say, they do look sweet together.
Pool Party:
Juan Pablo sneaks into the mansion to make a traditional Venezuelan breakfast as a surprise for the girls. It’s a fun little social experiment to see who wakes up looking good with no makeup on. Smart man.
Then, instead of a formal, stuffy cocktail party, Juan Pablo declares that he’d like to mix it up with a pool party before the rose ceremony. Getting to see the girls in their bikinis before handing out roses…that Juan Pablo is much, much smarter than we all give him credit for!
It’s not long before the girls have all picked the girl in the house they love to hate: Kat.
Sharleen is the girl this season that is struggling with the cameras and the fierce competition. Next thing you know she’s sniffling into Juan Pablo’s shoulder. And he might be speaking English but it’s probably sexier to assume he’s whispering sweet nothings in Spanish to console her. And, oh! what do you know that the next minute she’s keeping watch to make sure the other girls can’t see them making out. So, Sharleen seems to be the manipulative one this season.
When Clare needs to cry in the bathroom for a while, surprise surprise, house mom Renee is the first to her rescue. Funny thing is Clare is pissed about not getting face time with Mr. Bachelor, yet she’s hiding out behind closed doors. I do not envy these Bachelors who pretty much need a double major in Women’s Studies and Psychology to juggle all the emotions and estrogen. Whew…that’s rough.
Roses:
Going home: Lucy and Christy.
Next week: South Korea, Sharleen sings, Clare gets clingy, and oh, the crying.
P.S. Don’t forget to watch Sean & Catherine’s wedding, which will air on Sunday at 8 p.m.
P.P.S. Our Bachelor is quite controversial, no?
This week the lady and gents are in Madeira, Portugal. Fancy. But wait, there’s more than just one lady! Three ladies from Desiree’s season of Bachelor contestanthood — Catherine (Sean‘s fiance), Lesley, and Jackie — have joined Desiree poolside for some girl bonding and gossip about the boys. With a handful of left, I wonder if Jackie and Lesley are there to scavenge Desiree’s castoffs? Not a bad plan, I’d say. They even brought binoculars to spy on the guys frolicking in the pool. And that’s the last we see of them for the whole episode. Wonder if ABC footed the bill for those three to get to Madeira. Not worth it, I’d say. Could’ve handled that in a Skype session. But we find out that Des thinks Drew is the best kisser with the best bod and she’s really looking forward to hopping in the fantasy suite with Chris.
This is the week before Hometown Dates so anyone who stays is really in for it.
One-on-One Date: Brooks — I didn’t catch what the date card actually said, but my guess is something about being on cloud 9…because that’s all that’s said for about 5 minutes straight.
Desiree picks up Brooks for his second one-on-one date in a Smart Car…way less awesome than her Bentley back at the Bachelorette Mansion. They take a drive around the island and way up the mountain to sit in the clouds and contemplate how to define their relationship in the in between stages of ‘like’ and ‘love.’
Brooks says he doesn’t have all his puzzle pieces put together yet and Desiree says she likes figuring out if it’s going to work. They get a pretty hot and heavy make out session in whilst “on cloud 9” and cue the yell-from-the-top-of-the-mountain super cheesy sentiment: “we’re on cloud 9!” (I warned you, didn’t I?)
Over dinner they determine that to avoid being grown ups, they should find alternate ways to express their state of relationship and determine that like=walk and run=love. When Desiree says she’s getting ready to run, Brooks looks like he’s physically getting ready to take off, confessing to the camera that he’s a little behind emotionally. Regardless, he tells Des he wants her to meet his family. And then the real fireworks start – actual fireworks, not to be confused with the fireworks Des says she feels with Brooks. This date is just full of cliches and I’m really glad it’s over.
One-on-One Date: Chris “Let’s sea if we can find love here.”
During their day date on a yacht, Chris and Desiree are both extremely pleased to be half naked and lathering each other up with sunscreen, lounging and making out. Not a bad way to start out, I guess. During the picnic portion of the day, Desiree asks what I think is a good question if you only have a few weeks to decide if you want to marry someone: what would your friends say about you/what are you like with your friends? Chris kinda fails with his answer, dodging it by saying he’s the same guy that Des sees just a bit less romantic. Okay, clever, I’ll give you that. But then he ruins it with more poem talk. Instead of just a plain ol’ message in a bottle, he decides that they’re going to write a poem together and put it in the bottle. He says that writing poetry with her isn’t awkward…I beg to differ.
All jacked up on a poetry high, Chris giddily tells the camera that if timing is right at tonight’s dinner, he’s going to tell Desiree he loves her. Their dinner conversation turns to talk about kids (Desiree wants three). When asked about his family, Chris tells Des that what his parents think is very important and they both agree they’d like to meet each others’ families. Deal sealed for Chris. Now comes the big “L” word, but not without some serious fidgeting and sweat. Clearly nervous, Chris decides what better way to say “I love you” than through a poem, right? Desiree seems to really like it, which I guess is all that matters but whoa, for me and BFOTBM…that was a lot to handle. Even if I didn’t have a little baby kicking around in there, my stomach still would’ve been in knots. At least we get a few minutes to recover as they make out. A lot. Followed by a walk in the park, more making out, and Chris telling the camera that he thinks he’s found the one. He sounds pretty confident too…think he’s the one for her??
One-on-One Date: Michael — “Let’s have fun in Funchal.” (huh?)
It’s Michael’s first one-on-one date with Des (never a good sign at this point) and they spend the afternoon walking around town — you know, the usual Bachelor/Bachelorette foreign-place date…sampling some local fare, trying on jewelry, pointing out interesting locales, finding a place to sit and make out intensely. I don’t quite know how to explain what they do next…she calls it a toboggan. I think it’s like a street sleigh/gondola pushed by two guys in white outfits and hats. Looks fun!
Michael knows tonight is make or break so he opens up about his mom and being estranged from his father, not holding grudges, wanting to be a good husband and father himself. Desiree seems appreciative of what he’s sharing but she also looks disinterested and bored. I think she even tells him how nice he is at one point. Ouch. I know he’s trying to work up to saying “I love you” (cringe) but the lead up story is about being heartbroken by his last girlfriend so he doesn’t quite get there…it’s not exactly an ideal pouring out of the heart.
Two-on-One Date: Drew & Zak — “I’m looking for a man that can make my heart race!”
According to Des, Zak doesn’t seem himself in groups and Drew doesn’t let loose enough and have fun so she is putting them both in the hot (go kart) seat, testing them on the track with a challenge between the boys. Zak wins but it doesn’t get him anything but some alone time before Drew. Zak tells Des that this Bachelorette experience has been the best time of his life, which he has chronicled in drawings he’s made for her. He really has to explain some of them and she’s reacting like he’s a toddler who has some crayon scribbles and she’s the babysitter reaffirming how great they are. Zak says he and Drew respect each other so he elects not to say “I love you” because he doesn’t want her to have to get back to their two-on-one date and pretend like nothing happened. Noble of you, sir, but not smart.
During alone time with Des, Drew says that his family is very eager to meet her. He is especially excited for Des to meet his mentally handicapped sister who is unable to communicate through speech. He sweetly asks if Des will accompany him to pick her up when she comes to visit his hometown, to which Des is delighted and moved. Drew may respect Zak but he sure doesn’t care during his one-on-one time because he definitely let’s out a very sincere “I love you” and she most certainly got the message because they spend the next few minutes passionately making out. Glowing and smiling ear-to-ear, the pair practically skip arm-in-arm back to Zak who’s patiently waiting like an oaf.
Des gives Drew the rose because she knows for certain that she’d like to meet his family. Sorry, Zak. This show is called The Bachelorette; bros before hoes isn’t valid here.
Roses:
Going Home: Michael, the prosecutor, who gives some great closing arguments but still gets sent away. For life. Okay, that was a little exaggerated. But he did wish her the best with her life. Poor guy gets on the phone with his mom to tell her he’s not bringing Des home to meet her and all mom can say is “here we go again…” Oh, lordy!
Next week: meeting the family with hometown dates, singing, and the return of Desiree’s bad-boy brother.
Stick Girl JAM 