The Bachelorette After the Final Rose – Desiree

Desiree comes out in bridal white, flashing a happy smile and her shiny engagement ring. Here’s the interesting updates from After the Final Rose:

Brooks faces Desiree for the first time after breaking her heart leaving Antigua. Brooks says that watching the show back was difficult but Des commends him for being so honest, which is what helped her to move on. As far as regrets go, Brooks is easy on himself and Desiree is easy on the situation as well.  Oddly enough, Brooks didn’t know what had happened so Desiree had to say “Well, you leaving was actually really great.” And when she tells Brooks that she’s engaged to Chris, he says he’s not surprised at all.  A very easy, uninteresting interview actually.

Drew‘s interview is long and drawn out and there’s really not much you can say about it. It wasn’t there. He’s fine. She’s fine. He wants her to be happy. She wants him to be happy.  And the “could I have done something different?”  “No.”  “Drew, are you still in love with Des?” “No. But…I have nothing but love for you.” The end.

Chris comes out and Chris Harrison waits a whole one minute before bringing up Brooks. Way to ruin a moment, guy.  Once we see how happy the newly engaged couple is to be reunited again, we get to rewatch their proposal.  Cute.  But we just saw it five minutes ago, so thanks for that.  New developments: Desiree is moving to Seattle this weekend. They got a new place so they’ll have a fresh start to their new life together. (read: I didn’t want any of his crap).  In true Chris fashion, he’s written a poem for Desiree, framed with dried rose petals from each of the rose ceremonies.  Super sappy but they seem happy.

The next Bachelor is….Juan Pablo!   I’m telling you, the accent wins every time.  Here’s what you need to know: Juan Pablo is 32, he grew up in Venezuela, he was a professional soccer player, he moved to Miami, had a daughter who is now 4 years old, and he speaks highly of his daughter’s mom.  Juan Pablo wants to a) find a stepmom for his daughter and b) wants more kids.  He’s finding it hard to be a single dad and find a good mate, which I’d assume is just because he’s so good looking that he doesn’t ever settle down, but apparently, he’s ready to be a one-woman man and make more babies. I think there’s plenty of ladies out there looking for a little Latin flair in their life.  Juan Pablo seems a little overwhelmed/scared about the throngs of women yelling and screaming. I almost expected some panty flinging on stage.   I expect we’ll see a lot of kissing next season because Juan Pablo is a little hard to understand (though I don’t think the ladies will be complaining). We’ll have to wait until January to see how crazy it gets.

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The Bachelorette Finale Recap – Desiree

You remember where we left our Bachelorette last week, right?  A teary, blubbery mess.  In the start of this final episode, Desiree sits down with Chris Harrison, clearly heartbroken and still quite disheveled.

“I just want to go home, to be honest,” confesses Desiree.

When Chris Harrison brings up Drew and Chris, the remaining two princes who love love love her and want nothing but to sweep her off her feet, Desiree seems apathetic. But the show must go on, right?  Cue the hopeful music and right on time Desiree sings to the tune, agreeing to see Drew and Chris and continue on with the rose ceremony even though she’s devastated by Brooks’ departure.   The question on everyone’s mind is whether Brooks will be making a reappearance this episode because, really, how could she all of a sudden act like she’d be happy with either of the two consolation prizes remaining men.

Rose Ceremony – “And then there were two”

At the rose ceremony, Desiree puts on a strong face to tell both guys that even though Brooks has chosen to leave, she does not want his departure to affect the individual relationships she’s established with the two of them. But then she just about begs Chris and Drew to let her know if they don’t want the rose.  She’s obviously super paranoid that nobody likes her and she might be unlovable. However, as predicted, they both happily accept, albeit a tad bewildered by the sobfest they’ve just witnessed. (P.S. Is it just me or is Chris looking hunkier than his usual poetry-spouting self?)

Last Date with Drew

On their horseback riding date to the beach, Desiree is somber and sad, which is a stark contrast to Drew’s uppity “I’m so in love” stupor.  Drew is ready to tell Desiree that he’s not ever ever ever going to leave her and he can’t wait to meet her family and propose and start their happily ever after.  And just after he finishes a toast to being truly, madly, deeply in love, Desiree gives him the tried and true “we need to talk.”   Through whiny tears she tells him that she doesn’t know if she can see herself loving him the way he deserves to be loved. And as he sheds a few tears and mutters “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know” in response, he completely lets her off the hook by saying probably the classiest farewell speech ever:

“You don’t have to be sorry for not being in love with me; it’s not something you control, it just happens. Just because I see something, that doesn’t mean you have to feel it or see the same thing. And, I wouldn’t want that. I would want you to be as in love with me as I am with you.  It hurts. It hurts a lot. I don’t know. And I don’t know when it will really sink in but um…I guess this is goodbye.” – Drew, winner of the classiest departure ever award.

Chris

Desiree is hoping that spending some time with Chris will turn her frown upside down. She says that seeing Chris walk up made her feel hopeful and much different than she felt with Drew. Good sign. Chris gives Desiree an “I’ll be there for you” speech, which reminds Desiree that he’s the strong yet gentle soul she needs. They take a private catamaran ride, cuddling, kissing and chatting the whole time. Chris sees this time as validation and Desiree seems to be rediscovering what a great guy he is.

Feeling renewed in her spirit, Desiree is pleased that she continued on with Chris and has decided to open herself back up to the possibility of being with Chris. Still fragile with abandonment issues, Chris says some magic words when he tells her that he feels confident that in their relationship, he never feels like they take a step back and even when they are apart, they are able to pick right back up where they left off.  [See, if you recall, Brooks said that their time apart always felt like taking steps back to him. And the time apart wasn’t that hard.  So, it’s probably quite reassuring to Des to hear from Chris that he’s not feeling like that at all.]

Chris gifts a journal to Desiree with a poignant quote:

“The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are but the direction of where we are going.”

Whoa. Well done, sir.  To top it off, he’s also hand written out all of the poems he’s written for her in the back of the journal.  Not my cup of tea, but since it’s something they’ve shared throughout their entire time together, it’s super sweet.  And now Des is teary because she feels so lucky that he loves her.  Sort of embarrassed, she admits that no one has ever loved her as much as she loved them so it’s been hard for her to recognize and accept such sincere and complete love from Chris.  And now she confesses that she feels like a total idiot guilty  for not fully loving him before, blinded by Brooks and his luscious locks.

Non-sequitor: Catherine and Sean Lowe are there at the taping with nothing profound to say, but then again, none of the past contestants they brought back say anything of value, so feel free to skip that part if you’ve got it on your DVR.

Meeting the Family

Dad, Mom and Brother are there to meet Chris. He comes across confident and personable, even while Brother grills Chris with a ton of questions.  I’m not even sure Mom gets a question in but luckily Dad asks Chris to step away with him for some one-on-one time. Chris makes it clear that he’s felt confident about his feelings for Des from early on before he asks Dad for permission to propose to Des. Dad happily gives his consent but not without a stern warning that he’d better take care of his baby girl.  You tell ’em, pop.

When Des sits down with Brother, he asks if she wants to marry Chris and her response makes me cringe: “at this moment, yeah.”  Brother isn’t as stupid as he seems and her poor choice of words makes him wonder whether her feelings might change or if she’s settling after losing Brooks. Brother says he likes Chris and thinks that Desiree is making the right choice, which is oddly supportive from what we’ve seen of him in the past.  Continuing to be surprisingly intuitive and caring in his questioning, Brother asks about Brooks and whether she’s disappointed and hurt and even ready to go forward with someone else.

The Final Rose & A Proposal

Neil Lane shows up with the rings (the best part, right?) and the one Chris picks is a stunner (but then again, aren’t they all?).  Desiree seems excited to know that Chris will be showing up to propose soon, but weirdly decides that before he gets down on one knee, he needs to know the truth about how she felt about Brooks.  Is it just me or does that seem like it’s totally going to ruin the moment?  Eek.

Chris gives a beautiful, beautiful speech to Desiree and just as he gets the courage to get down on one knee, she stops him so she can tell him that she sent Drew home earlier in the week and that he’s the only one left, he’s the only one who met her family. Yay!  But then she continues on, confessing to Chris that she was heartbroken when Brooks left because she was in love with him and it caused her to be torn between the two of them.  Boo!  But…then she realized that because she was so blindsided by his leaving, she wasn’t able to see what/who was right in front of her the whole time. Yay? And there it is, what Chris has been waiting for: an “I love you” from Desiree.  It sure took a weird road to get there, but I guess the point is they’re there.

And after some crying and laughing and kissing and lots of “I love you’s” exchanged, Chris finally gets down on one knee for real and asks her to marry him, to which she happily says “Yes…a thousand times!” (sounds like somebody’s been watching Pride & Prejudice and rehearsing their proposal acceptance!)

Want to know what happens After the Final Rose — read the recap!

The Bachelor Recap After the Final Rose – Sean

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It’s not five seconds after Sean sits down to talk with Chris Harrison that the women in the live audience are shouting “take off your shirt!”

When Chris keeps telling Sean what it was like to watch the proposal or see him say goodbye to Lindsay, I just wish Sean would say “I know, dude, I was there. I lived it.” But, he’s not that cool and he doesn’t. He just nods. And it’s lame.

Lindsay comes out rocking a white dress like any scorned ex-girlfriend would do at her ex-boyfriend’s engagement party on national television. And the dress is totally killer. And I was really hoping Possessionista had a link to where to buy it. And she did. Yay! But it’s $341. Boo. Looking all lovely, Lindsay just wants to know what happened and Sean still doesn’t have much to tell her aside from the fact that he’s in love with Catherine and he wants to spend his life with her.

Lindsay is poised and happy for Sean and thankful for her experience and what Sean has taught her and shown her about herself and about love. Lindsay says her faith is really what pulled her through. And I love that Chris Harrison points out how much America appreciated when Lindsay peeled off her heels so she could storm off after Sean broke up with her. That was awesome.

Catherine comes out flaunting her rock (which is hard not to do, I’d imagine. It’s big.) Odd that Lindsay wore white but Catherine is wearing black (maybe it’s navy?)…either way, diamonds win every time.

It’s no surprise that Sean and Catherine haven’t set a wedding date yet, but it’s also no surprise that ABC will be broadcasting their wedding soon. But perhaps a little unexpected since Ashley & JP’s wedding didn’t get great ratings. But maybe because this one is fresher and people are more interested since it sounds like it’ll be happening soon. So stay tuned for that.

The Next Bachelorette — Desiree

This summer Desiree is going to be the lucky lady handing out roses to gentleman suitors and going on extravagant dates. See you then for more recaps!

The Bachelor Recap – The Final Rose, Season 17 – Sean

Bachelor Sean Final Rose Proposal

In order to make this season of the Bachelor “historic” the most exciting thing they could think to do is make the finale a whole three hours. Whoa.

Sean’s family meets him in Thailand to help him make his big decision, and instead of making him take his shirt off, women are swooning over the big bear hug Sean gives his niece and nephew upon seeing them arrive. A collective “awwww” was heard all across America.

Mom is apprehensive as Sean admits that he’s got strong feelings for both women, and Sean’s hope is that his family will provide some clarity.

Catherine Meets Sean’s Family

Catherine arrives and is very nervous because she knows how important Sean’s family is to him and how important family is to her. Pretty much, if today goes bad, she’s screwed. And she knows it.

“I played football in sixth grade. All boys and me; I was the only girl…And then I broke my arm…so I went onto cheerleading. And I got hurt way more.” – Catherine, winning dad over.

Mom asks Catherine flat out if it’s love and Catherine shares her side of their love story and what she’s most proud of: how good she feels about herself when she’s with him. Mom is pleased. And relieved.

“I am consumed by him. Very much so.” — Catherine, explaining her love for Sean to his dad.

“How do you know for sure that you really are in love before you get married?” — Sean’s dad with the tough questions.

Her response: “For me, it’s just been being my complete self and giving myself to him, and him to me. I know we’ll experience hardships…but I’m a fighter.”

“If it’s you that Sean ends up marrying, you will never have a bigger fan than me. And that’s the truth. Okay? I’ll love you like my daughter. And there’s gonna be no holding that back. And I’ll support you.” — Sean’s dad saying the sweetest thing that’s ever been said on this show. Ever.

Sean says he can see himself marrying Catherine. Buuuut…he can also see himself marrying Lindsay.

Lindsay Meet’s Sean’s Family

It seems to be going swimmingly with the fam — everyone is all smiles and giggles.

Again, Sean’s dad asks: “how do you know that you’re truly in love for life before you get married?”

Her response: “I just know. I want to hang out with him. I want to hang out with him for the rest of my life. He challenges me. He gets me. He is so supportive. He makes me feel beautiful. He is everything I’ve been looking for and more.”

More hard questions from dad, like this one: “What does a married couple do in a situation where one’s got their mind made up and the other one says ‘I don’t know’?”

Lindsay’s answer: “Well, marriage is compromise. You have to work with each other. It’s a lot of prayer, communication, and trying to figure out where we can meet in the middle.”

Dad’s retort: “Would you talk to my wife?!” Ha! Funny guy!

“When Sean was born, we began on that day praying for his wife. And so we prayed every day for her. Wherever she was. And you know, sometimes you wonder when you look in someone’s eyes – like yours – you wonder is that the one I’ve been praying for all these years? And if it is, I couldn’t be more happy. I just want you to know that.” — Sean’s dad. Sweetest thing ever said on this show #2. Wow. This guy is smooth.

Lindsay scores points with mom talking about her values and how important family is to her. Mom loves her.

“I think Lindsay is a perfect fit for me. And I’m glad that my family got to see how much she loves me. Lindsay makes me feel loved, and that’s such an incredible feeling.” – Sean

Family Matters

“It’s a win-win. They’re both very special. They’ll fit right in. We like ’em both.” — the collective family opinion.

Talking with mom, Sean — in a very respectful way — tells mom that he needs her support more than he needs her opinion. She cries a bit, worried about how big of a deal a proposal should be in his life. Mom believes that if he doesn’t know by now, he shouldn’t propose to either one.

Sean’s family leaves after being absolutely no help to him for they, too, love both Lindsay and Catherine. Well, it was worth a shot.

Lindsay’s Last Date

The couple takes a raft ride down the brown river and it all seems very rural minus the champagne. Sean and Lindsay act goofy and make out a lot. I don’t think we’ve ever seen this serious side Lindsay swears they have. I see the goofy. I see the sucking face. A lot.

“I can picture you being a hot old chick.” — Sean to Lindsay.

Lindsay is overwhelmed and excited and scared by how much she loves Sean and how close she is to getting everything she’s ever wanted in life. I’m a bit worried for her as well. She’s got a 50/50 chance at getting what she wants. But, she seems like the kind of gal that would be okay if this didn’t work out for her. Like she wouldn’t need to ask Chris Harrison for a reference to that therapist Brad was toting around his whole season. But, if she decided to go off the deep end a bit, she can swim around there with AshLee, who would be happy to have some company for a while.

Sean tells Lindsay not to be nervous, trying to reassure her, which seems nice but if she’s not the one in the end, well, it’s this sorta stuff that’s going to haunt her.

Lindsay has made three paper lanterns for them to light and release into the sky — Love, Happiness, and Family — the three things she says she and Sean need in their relationship to last forever. And at this moment, Sean says he thinks Lindsay is the girl for him. (But then, there’s always tomorrow!)

Catherine’s Last Date

Seans says he’s looking for a sign that Catherine is the one. I think the fact that she got the purple memo is a good one. Also, the first thing she gushes to Sean about is the fact that she got to touch an elephant walking around the resort the day before. And Sean can hardly contain his excitement to reveal that they’ll be riding an elephant that day. So cool! I want one. [Side note: I read an article where Chris Harrison said “elephants are the new helicopters. helicopters are so last season.” Ha! That’s about the funniest thing he’s ever said. Ever.]

The end of their elephant ride puts them atop a tall treehouse type structure where the conversation seems to be a little more serious than it was with Lindsay. Catherine confides that she’s been trying not to think too much about the future so as not to have her hopes crushed, however, she feels she’s in a good place and that she should be excited about those things. Confidence is good. Sean doesn’t seem to have it, so maybe that’s what he’s looking for in one of the girls.

Quite confidently, Catherine tells Sean that the only way she can see this story ending is with her accepting his proposal. Catherine follows Sean out crying after he leaves because she needs to be reassured but he’s clearly not going to give her what she needs. Frustrating.

It looks like she gave him a gift, but we don’t get to see what it was. A scrapbook? A collection of poems? All of their love notes?

The Man With the Rings

My favorite man from The Bachelor arrives: Neil Lane. The guy that shows up with diamonds is always going to be the best guy in my book. Neil shows Sean some fancy schmancy diamond engagement rings for the girl he says he woke up that morning and realized he couldn’t live without. It appears Sean chooses a cushion cut with micro-pave sides — what Neil calls “very romantic and classically made.” Good choice. They should really make that segment longer. Cut out the studio audience and show us more engagement rings!

Before the Proposal/Break-Up

Sean is emotional telling us how happy he is he took a leap of faith and decided to go through everything he’s been through to get here. He’s excited and ready to start his life with the woman he loves. And he’s crying a lot.

Lindsay is also happy and excited about how much her life is going to change, whereas Catherine’s mood seems a bit more somber — she’s crying because of how intense the unknown is right now.

Lindsay can’t imagine her life without Sean and she hopes her intuition is right. Catherine is confused and unsure if she’s ready.

[Side note: I’m not going to talk about the live show parts of the episode — so lame, right? And not sure why Lesley, Sarah, AshLee and Jackie were brought back, except maybe to throw people off the scent of the new Bachelorette. Hmmmm…]

Sean says he has absolutely no reason to be breaking up with the girl he’s saying goodbye to…and the girl that steps out of the limo is Lindsay. Poor girl has no clue what’s coming; she thinks she’s getting a really fancy ring, when instead she’s getting an empty goodbye. I guess it doesn’t matter who shows up in a wedding dress, it really only matters who ends up in one.

Lindsay’s Goodbye

Sean: “You have been such a surprise. I didn’t see our relationship coming…I didn’t know the depth I would find. Every time I’m with you, I’m so amazed. I’m amazed by your strength, your courage, your love, your generosity. You…you blow me away. You really do. Um…” (and now she knows) “…Lindsay, this is the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do. I want to give you my heart so bad. But my heart is leading me somewhere else, and as of yesterday, I didn’t know what I was doing. I’ve been so confused. I’ve been searching for clarity, and praying for clarity, and I think I’ve finally gotten it. Now I have to say goodbye to you. And, it’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because I know how incredible you are.”

And that’s where he should have ended his speech and said goodbye. But he didn’t. He continued with this:

Sean: “And, I love you. That’s the hardest part. I love you. I know I do. I’m sorry.”

Lindsay: “It’s okay. Please, just don’t. It’s okay.”

Sean: “I think it’s important that you to know how hard this is for me because you’ve supported me from the very beginning…”

Lindsay: “Stop. Just, no, stop. Just leave. It’s okay. Was it me?”

Sean: “What I can promise you is: it’s not you. And, when it comes down to it, I just…I can’t think of one thing you don’t possess that I don’t need in a wife. I’m so sorry.”

Lindsay: “Oh my gosh. Okay, well, I’m going to go. Because this is just really painful. This is my nightmare. I really didn’t see this coming so um, I’m happy for you. I’m happy that you found love but I honestly can’t imagine my life without you and that’s something that um, I’m going to have to figure out.”

And I love that Lindsay takes off her heels so she can walk out faster. Smart move.

Sean: “Lindsay, I just want you to know how much you mean to me and I feel so blessed to have gotten to know you. Sorry.”

Lindsay: “Good luck.”

Lindsay’s car ride is a rough one. It’s true it’s not fair.

Catherine’s Letter

After Sean says a tearful goodbye to Lindsay, Chris delivers a letter from Catherine. Well, I guess it’s only fitting as she’s been giving him little love notes all season long. Adorable.

The Proposal

Sean: “This has been such a crazy journey and there have been so many unexpected, wonderful moments with you. I knew from the very beginning that you were someone I wanted to be around I just had no idea that my feelings were going to turn into what they’ve turned into. You never cease to amaze me. You never do. I think the world of you and I miss you. Every time we have to say goodbye I miss you. I don’t want to have to say goodbye to you anymore. Catherine, I want to spend the rest of my life telling you I love you and making you feel like the most special, beautiful woman in the world. (On one knee) Catherine, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” she gasps!

“I love you so much,” he whispers in her ear as they hug.

Catherine: “Oh my gosh this is so…oh my gosh…is this for real?”

Sean: “I love you so much. I do. I’m going to tell you every day. I promise you that.”

And then I just love when she says “I’m so addicted to you.” How darling. And with that, Sean gives Catherine the final rose. And they ride off into the sunset. On an elephant.

The Bachelorette recap, the final rose – Emily

It’s our first weekend in Virginia and we were a bit late coming back from playing with Baxter at Pony Pasture and I was sure we wouldn’t miss anything because they’d be recapping the whole season for 25 minutes but apparently Jef meeting the family took a whole 6 minutes at the start of the show…just when you think you can rely on Chris Harrison, he goes and gets divorced and you can’t count on his useless rehashing. Maybe he’s given up on love altogether. Sad story.

So we miss Jef meeting the ‘rents but catch it in time to learn Jef made a great impression. Ari fumbles through his first greeting, rambling a bit too much but winning them over gushing about Emily and bringing every rose she’s given him in a nice little box.  Aww…sweet

The first thing of importance this episode is Dad establishing that “you can’t love two people at the same time.”  I’m telling Mumbles I think Emily has an easy out because she can not pick either of them or pick both of them and walk away clean saying “I had to be careful because I have a daughter to think about and I can’t just rush into an engagement…” and the next thing we know Emily’s mom says the same thing and she proceeds to say it herself. Hmmm…

Emily says she’s stressed. Jef says he is not. He is sure and confident but he hasn’t met Ricki. And all Emily says about that is “it’s a big decision,” alluding that she’s even scared now just to introduce her to the two remaining guys. Jef can tell something is amiss and asks if Emily has confidence. She says yes. I say no. They sit in awkward silence and Emily says she wasn’t planning on introducing Ricki to anyone but because she feels so confident, she wants them to meet.  Who’s betting we’ll be hearing this same speech with Ari? Oh, everyone? Okay, cool.

Jef’s high five meet and greet with Ricki iclimactic inch a letdown. He wins her over and we know it when she asks her mom if Jef can come play in the pool. Aww. Emily says Jef exceeded her expectations and that he’d be the best father and the best husband.

“There’s a little bit of real life that’s happened in this whole situation.” -Jef (not putting enough emphasis on the “little”)

Jef and Emily’s last night together is sweet. There’s no big declaration or anything but they both seem happy and comfortable.

Jef buys a Curaçao coffee table book as his last grand gesture gift and I’m thinking “cool book, bro” until he shows her he’s drawn stick figures throughout the book. Better.

The morning after her date with Jef, Emily calls Chris over to chat. She explains that she feels split between the two and doesn’t know what to do. But then she says that spending time with Jef and Ricki together made her see that he’s the one and she didn’t even question what their life would be like because that was exactly what it would be.

Emily says she can’t sit with Ari all day without feeling awful because she’s positive it’s Jef so she needs to tell Ari that as much as she loves him, she loves someone else a little more.  See, Dad knows best!

Mumbles is asking me how this usually goes down and I explain that usually the Bachelor/Bachelorette waits until their #2 is teary eyed, all mushy and lovestruck, down on one knee ready to propose before breaking it to the poor sap that they are not “the one.” At this point, I regret some of my snarkiness about Emily if she actually shows some class and tells Ari the truth (and makes it last with Jef, because lets be real: this woman does not have a good track record, my friends).

“I’m getting engaged tomorrow.” -Ari, who is incorrect

“That moment when Emily looks in my eyes and can express how she feels is going to feel so good.” – Ari, again incorrect

Emily gets out of the SUV to meet Ari who’s completely oblivious and wrong about everything and she’s crying already. Yet she still kisses him and tells him she missed him! She sits him down and starts balling and squeaking, shaking her head. Ari is catching on even though she’s not speaking in full sentences. And instead of coming out and saying it she hesitates but its enough to let on that yesterday’s date with Jef tipped her scales the other way and so he tells her she doesn’t have to say it. Lets her off easy so she can continue crying, and then she looks at him hopefully like he’ll say something to make it all better. Ugh.

“I did for so long think it was going to be me and you.” -Emily, not helping

He realizes there’s nothing left to say, tells her as such, gives her a kiss on the cheek and says goodbye, thanking her for sparing him the embarrassment of tomorrow, and walks away. She runs after him, crying all the while, and he tells her she’s not going to get the “goodbye, good luck” she’s after. And appropriately so. I don’t think anyone expects him to give her that and I’d say he was more than a gentleman about it.  Fare thee well, Ari. In the words of the funny (but not PG movie) Old School (earmuffs/eyemuffs?) when Ari gets home, he’s “gonna get so much ass…like hot boy band ass.” True story.

“I still believe that she’s the love of my life which is what is so painful.” – Ari, heartbroken

Jef meets Neil Lane to pick out a fancy schmancy ring.  Me likely the pink gold ring Neil shows Jef. (you can disregard that, as I said that out loud as I wrote it so Mumbles could take note.)

“I love Emily but I don’t want to propose to Emily if she’s going to say no.” – Jef
“I’m not 100% sure I want to get engaged.” – Emily
“If Jef proposed, I’m not really sure that I’d be able to do it.” – Emily
“I’m not gonna be the girl that gets engaged 15 times before she gets married.” -Emily, who seems like she’s on her way there

Does anyone else think their proposal stage is in an odd spot? In the middle of a random hotel/motel/village…?

And then the rehearsed speeches:

“You really are everything that I’ve looked for for so long. You really are my soul mate…I love you so so much. So much.” -Emily

“I feel like the luckiest man in the world… I think God puts the right people in our lives when the timing is just right, and I feel that with us, I feel like the timing is just right….I am so grateful that you tried one more time [for love] because I found my everything, and I’m so in love with you and I promise you, Emily, that if you let me into your life and into Ricki’s life that you’ll never be lonely again. I love you, Emily…” -Jef
(Mumbles thinks Jef’s notes were written on his hand.)

“What I’m about to ask you aren’t just empty words…what I’m about to ask you is a forever thing…Emily, will you marry me?” -Jef, on bended knee

“Yes.” -Emily, after a lot of hesitation and then really the most unromantic thing that could ever be said after a proposal and some kissing: “we’re gonna make it work.” Totally ruined it, lady!

After the engagement, Ricki comes running in (in a dress not nearly as formal as the occasion called for)…and Emily says “hey, Ricki” and then the three of them just walk off together (not nearly as informational as the situation called for)…no “this is my boyfriend”…or “hey, Jef just asked me to marry him and I said yes…” or “hey, Ricki, remember Jef from two days ago?” Poor kid.

After the Final Rose:

  • Emily gushes about Jef and her new sparkly diamond when she comes out to meet Chris.
  • Ari is there and he says watching the show really helped to understand everything. He was completely taken by surprise because physical attraction aside, he felt like they had great conversations and had a future planned.
  • Side note: What’s up with the big crease and bump in the midsection of her hair?
  • Ari says he got home and knew he couldn’t be himself around his friends and about the town without letting on that he was heartbroken so he flew to Charlotte to see Emily to either get closure or get a new start. He says he got there but thought better of it (after you paid and flew there…really?) because he respects Jef and respects Ricki…so instead he just called her (presumably like a creepster from an SUV with tinted windows parked across the street from her house) and left his journal at her house for her to read. But she didn’t read it. Because she respects him. Oh, geez. Ari thought when she read the journal she would know he was genuine and how he really felt about her. But she didn’t.

“Had Jef not been there, it would be me and Ari sitting here, so happy.” – Emily, not helping Ari feel good about being friends with Jef

  • Ari is happy for Emily and Jef. He says he’s doing good but I don’t quite believe him.  Ari said he talks to Jef on the phone, which he admits is kinda crazy but it helped him to understand how happy they are.

And the man of the hour himself arrives:
“We are happy and in love.” – Jef, with a smile
On the awkward amount of time it took Emily to respond to Jef’s proposal? (Chris timed it: Emily made him wait 10 seconds. That’s a long time.): “I don’t know…but I was scared and I don’t want to be the girl that gets engaged a bunch of times and never gets married.” – Emily, who, let’s be honest, just really loved that sparkly ring.

Heres the scoop: Jef is moving to Charlotte so they don’t have to uproot Ricki and it makes sense because he can work from anywhere (but she doesn’t work at all so it would probably make even more sense and really show her commitment to “making this work” if she just moved to Utah, right?), they are already planning a wedding, they want it to be in Charleston, maybe in the spring but she doesn’t want to say when because she doesn’t want to be held to it. Well, good luck with that. I’m not so confident we’ll be watching your ABC special next year.

It’s been a good season, my friends, wouldn’t you say? Are you happy with Emily’s choice and with Jef’s decision to propose? Think we’ll see a wedding next year?

If you’re a Bachelor Pad viewer, have fun with that hot mess of shenanigans. As you may have read, Mumbles, Baxter and I are temporarily in Virginia for work so I hope you’ll stick with me while I share about our life here on the east coast.  Thanks for your continued support and encouragement. See you next season!

The Bachelor – The Proposal and After the Final Rose, season 16

Wow, so hey there, folks.  Sorry about the delay in posting today and especially after such a big night last night…took a while to digest, I guess.  Here’s how it all went down:

Lindzis time with the fam
Ben’s sister and mom are in Switzerland to help him find himself one lucky lady.  Straight out Ben’s sister wants to know right away if by any chance there was a girl everyone hated…and this is somewhat how Ben answers: “well, sister, yes…yes, there was…and she’s still here. It’s Courtney. You’ll meet her tomorrow.” (smile, eye sparkle, hair flip – see that Ben and Courtney, just a match made in Bachelor heaven!)  According to dear ole sister, she does not approve of Ben’s choice in ladies often (so this should be fun).

Lindzi meets the fam first – get the easy part over with right?. She looks very darling in her tweed blazer and boots. Ben compares Lindzi to himself – very country but lives in the city (as well illustrated by her outfit). A complete nervous wreck, Lindzi is visibly and awkwardly anxious the whole time – she’s dropping silverware, throwing silverware, all with a concerned expression giving away that she’s clearly extremely worried about making a bad first impression.  

 Mom interrogates Lindzi a bit but after Lindzi completes her interview, she breathes a sigh of relief after seeing mom smile. Sister says a lot of general one liners about not letting this moment pass by, giving 110%, no regrets, letting guards down. Not very substantial.  And then Sister asks about Courtney and whether Lindzi had similar problems with other ladies. I thought for a second Sister was testing Lindzi to see whether she would speak poorly of her competition, but it seemed a bit like she was just trying to get the juice on the one Ben really likes.”

Mom and sister approve of sweetheart, warm, caring country/city girl Lindzi. Ben is pleased. Sister pats herself on the back about her abilities to gauge someone’s character “and whatnot.

Courtney meets the fam
Before Courtney arrives, Ben anxiously worries about Courtney (in case you haven’t heard: Courtney does not play well with others) because his family is all women. Oops. Fail.  However, Ben is sure that if Courtney is herself (and doesn’t throw silverware) that his family will love her. Sister and Mom get straight into it with Courtney: “so…you’re a model…what’s that like?” which led into Courtney blabbing about not getting along with the other girls.  Good on ya, girlfriend. Great conversation starter.

 “I’m in love with Ben, I won’t hurt him, and he’s in good hands.” -Courtney

 Sister says she’ll just have to take Courtney at her word and trust what she’s saying.  Well, that was sure easy.  It’s a good thing she’s good at gauging someone’s character and whatnot. Courtney tells mom she’s very confident in the connection she and Ben have established.  And dying to know wha they think, Ben is ear-to-ear smile when he learns that Sister and Mom were shocked by their first impression of Courtney. Their consensu: Courtney is amazing. Sister says she’s amazing, Mom says she is kind and she can tell Ben loves her and they seem happy. And who doesn’t want happiness for their children?

Ben spends a few minutes recapping his experiences with the ladies. It pretty much comes down to this: Lindzi is lovely. Courtney has depth. (By “depth” I think he’s referring to depths of craziness of which he has not yet seen. And he’s probably correct.)

Not that anyone asked but Sister picks Courtney. And it’s settled.

Last One-On-One Date — Lindzi
Surprise! Ben picks Lindzi up for their date in a horse-drawn carriage. Get it?! Because Lindzi is the horse chick.  Oh Benny, ever so thoughtful! They take a picnic gondola ride up the Swiss Alps to go skiing. View of the Matterhorn in the background, Lindzi asks Ben if she’s doing okay…has she opened up enough? Did his family like her?  Can you see me in your future? Ben says yes, he has seen their future together. [Sarcastically, Mumbles notes: “ah, yes, those four dates we had…let’s talk about those.”]

Ben and Lindzi talk a lot more about vulnerabilities, opening up, fears. This conversation has been going on for.like.ever. Lindzi makes the mistake of saying “however this ends up, I fell in love.” Ben says the way Lindzi loves him is true and good but he doesn’t seem too interested. Clearly looking for some reassurance, Lindzi proclaims how scared she is and Ben’s got nothing to give. Since that didn’t work, Lindzi continues throwing out the “L” word with nothing but Ben’s blank half smile to return her sentiments.  Ouch.

Last One-On-One Date — Courtney
Oh, finally, a helicopter…haven’t seen one of those in over two weeks!  Phew! Flying over the Matterhorn makes Ben’s “Top 10 Coolest Things I’ve Ever Done” list.  There’s a lakeside picnic, lots of baby talk voices (woof), snow angels, sledding, more of Courtney defending her past indiscretions against the other ladies, and then kissing. Oh, and then Ben tells the camera how head over heels in love he is with Courtney.

At her hotel room later on, Courtney talks about being in love, vulnerability, trust issues. Pause for lots of kissing. Come up for air and then Courtney presents Ben with a gift. (note to first-time Bachelor watchers: the last two ladies like to give parting gifts so that their man, seemingly undecided in who he’ll choose, can relish over the past few weeks of their romance – the gushier the better – only to find that in reality they just look sappy and sad when not chosen. Perhaps Lindzi was playing it safe? If this is your first time watching, then this little gift is a surprise. If not, you already know what this is going to be…) A scrapbook. And a sappy love letter which she read aloud. Ben says “that was really nice.” Profound, these two.

Courtney asks Ben if he has any concerns and he says no. Then she ruins the moment by bringing up how hard this was for her, she’s been defending herself this whole time. Fishing for an early “I love you” and last minute consoling and comfort so she’ll feel confident going into the final rose, Courtney is deflated when Ben stands his ground and leaves a bit frustrated, wondering why they are still taking about this same ole thing. I am too.

After a lot of blah blah about both ladies (for details, read recaps 1-10), Neil Lane arrives with a “Heya Ben, nice to see you again!” (because, you know, he’s already met Mr. Lane…the last time he picked out a ring. For Ashley. Oops.).

Both the ladies don their capes and black gowns (seriously, was there a memo about that?!) to meet Ben atop a mountain.  BFOTB and I are secretly wishing this will be like the one time Kasey (“I’ll guard and protect your heart”) was rejected on a two-on-one date and stranded on a glacier. Hah!

Chris Harrison looks a bit sad when we see Lindzi arrive and get out of the helicopter first. Ben can’t get a word out because Lindzi is blabbing away about being there and being excited and being in love. Ben pauses an ominous pause then tells Lindzi that he has fallen in love with her. (Yay!) But. (No!) He needs that love to last a lifetime. And he’s found that love with someone else. (Sad story).  His consolation: “I’m in love with someone else. It didn’t come easy. I’m sorry. Let me walk you out.”

Lindzi says a sad goodbye and tells Ben she wishes she could have given him what he needed. BFOTB and I cringe when Lindzi throws in “if it doesn’t work out, call me.”  It seems pathetic but mostly sad. Sad because she’s sincere and she knows Ben is making a mistake with Courtney and it won’t work in the end.

“It’s difficult to propose to one woman when I have feelings for another.” -Ben

And here’s the grand finale speech:

“You kinda took my breath away there. Might need a sec. What a journey. It’s been an incredible road…ups and downs…real signs of what life could be. I felt like we’ve been on this same path…whenever I’m with you we’ve had these incredible moments. I think you’re an incredible woman. An incredible woman. But, I promised myself that I wouldn’t get down on one knee again if it wasn’t forever. And I want to tell you that you are my forever and this has been worth it every step of the way… Courtney, will you marry me?”

 “Yes, of course I will. I love you so much. I love it [the ring]. I will love you forever.” – Courtney

 Then lots of kissing and the final rose, and Courtney angling to get the best light and camera angle. I can just imagine her thinking “wow, this mountaintop light is really fantastic…I look great” – can’t you?!

After the Final Rose

Ben’s story
Ben informs the audience that for a time while the show was airing, he and Courtney were broken up. His excuse: he did not want to taint the purity of what they had with all of the negativity while the show aired. They didn’t talk for a few weeks.

Stirring the pot a bit, our man Chris Harrison wants to talk about the tabloid rumors and photos of Ben kissing other women. Ben tells Chris that he wasn’t kissing other women and that tabloid fodder is “super messed up.” Which, according to Ben is why Courtney hopped on over to a bridal shop to try on wedding gowns. You know, just to screw with people. Ha!

Courtney’s story
Courtney feels responsible.  This is all very heartbreaking and she’s been very depressed and disappointed. According to her: “Ben was initially supportive and then he abandoned me. I tried to give him space….Yes, we’re together…I think. I don’t really know…I’m really hopeful and positive.”

 Joint Statements from Ben and Courtney

  • Ben says they are in a good place and they’re engaged.
  • Playing the much-needed therapist, Chris asks if Courtney can really, fully trust Ben. No.
  • Chris asks if Ben can honestly look in her eyes and say he’ll stand by her forever. Ben apologizes to her and says he wishes he had been a better man, he loves her, he wants to be with her.
  • They watch the proposal and they are both in tears talking about how soiled that beautiful moment was because everything else around them was tainted but when they are together things are fine.
  • Apparently Chris has been hanging on to the engagement ring and does it belong on Courtney’s finger? Yeah, sure, why not. Cheers.

So what did you think of how this one ended?  How long do you think this will last? Do you see a wedding in the future?

Ashley and JP come out and throw in their two cents about Ben and Courtney, which is really lame. But, they need some press because they may or may not want ABC to pay for their wedding, which they’re hoping will come in the next year, along with babies very soon.  Watch for that, I guess.  

P.S. Stay tuned for Emily’s season, coming in May (and by gosh, it’s sure to be better than this one! Right?!? Let’s all hope so!)

New word: ridicute

ri·di·cute

–adjective
ridiculous + cute = ridicute

Inspired by my dear Gold Friend‘s surprise engagement photos, I present to you the word “ridicute,” to be used to describe something that is intolerably darling, precious and pleasing. 

Go ahead and enjoy this new, fabulous word. Use it in a sentence.  Impress your friends and coworkers with its cleverness.  You’re welcome.