Here they are, folks…our new Bachelorette’s group of suitors.
I hope that these photos have been doctored a bit…they all look the same. Maybe she has a very particular type? In any case, we’ll get to meet them all in just two weeks for the season premiere!
(photo via)
It’s not five seconds after Sean sits down to talk with Chris Harrison that the women in the live audience are shouting “take off your shirt!”
When Chris keeps telling Sean what it was like to watch the proposal or see him say goodbye to Lindsay, I just wish Sean would say “I know, dude, I was there. I lived it.” But, he’s not that cool and he doesn’t. He just nods. And it’s lame.
Lindsay comes out rocking a white dress like any scorned ex-girlfriend would do at her ex-boyfriend’s engagement party on national television. And the dress is totally killer. And I was really hoping Possessionista had a link to where to buy it. And she did. Yay! But it’s $341. Boo. Looking all lovely, Lindsay just wants to know what happened and Sean still doesn’t have much to tell her aside from the fact that he’s in love with Catherine and he wants to spend his life with her.
Lindsay is poised and happy for Sean and thankful for her experience and what Sean has taught her and shown her about herself and about love. Lindsay says her faith is really what pulled her through. And I love that Chris Harrison points out how much America appreciated when Lindsay peeled off her heels so she could storm off after Sean broke up with her. That was awesome.
Catherine comes out flaunting her rock (which is hard not to do, I’d imagine. It’s big.) Odd that Lindsay wore white but Catherine is wearing black (maybe it’s navy?)…either way, diamonds win every time.
It’s no surprise that Sean and Catherine haven’t set a wedding date yet, but it’s also no surprise that ABC will be broadcasting their wedding soon. But perhaps a little unexpected since Ashley & JP’s wedding didn’t get great ratings. But maybe because this one is fresher and people are more interested since it sounds like it’ll be happening soon. So stay tuned for that.
The Next Bachelorette — Desiree
This summer Desiree is going to be the lucky lady handing out roses to gentleman suitors and going on extravagant dates. See you then for more recaps!
Dont forget to tune in to ABC on Sunday night to relive the romance and the wedding of Ashley-the-dentist and JP. I’m sure there will be lots to gush over and make fun of (probably in equal amounts) and I’ll look forward to hearing about your favorite moments!
P.S. Who’s getting excited for Bachelor Sean in January!?
It’s our first weekend in Virginia and we were a bit late coming back from playing with Baxter at Pony Pasture and I was sure we wouldn’t miss anything because they’d be recapping the whole season for 25 minutes but apparently Jef meeting the family took a whole 6 minutes at the start of the show…just when you think you can rely on Chris Harrison, he goes and gets divorced and you can’t count on his useless rehashing. Maybe he’s given up on love altogether. Sad story.
So we miss Jef meeting the ‘rents but catch it in time to learn Jef made a great impression. Ari fumbles through his first greeting, rambling a bit too much but winning them over gushing about Emily and bringing every rose she’s given him in a nice little box. Aww…sweet
The first thing of importance this episode is Dad establishing that “you can’t love two people at the same time.” I’m telling Mumbles I think Emily has an easy out because she can not pick either of them or pick both of them and walk away clean saying “I had to be careful because I have a daughter to think about and I can’t just rush into an engagement…” and the next thing we know Emily’s mom says the same thing and she proceeds to say it herself. Hmmm…
Emily says she’s stressed. Jef says he is not. He is sure and confident but he hasn’t met Ricki. And all Emily says about that is “it’s a big decision,” alluding that she’s even scared now just to introduce her to the two remaining guys. Jef can tell something is amiss and asks if Emily has confidence. She says yes. I say no. They sit in awkward silence and Emily says she wasn’t planning on introducing Ricki to anyone but because she feels so confident, she wants them to meet. Who’s betting we’ll be hearing this same speech with Ari? Oh, everyone? Okay, cool.
Jef’s high five meet and greet with Ricki iclimactic inch a letdown. He wins her over and we know it when she asks her mom if Jef can come play in the pool. Aww. Emily says Jef exceeded her expectations and that he’d be the best father and the best husband.
“There’s a little bit of real life that’s happened in this whole situation.” -Jef (not putting enough emphasis on the “little”)
Jef and Emily’s last night together is sweet. There’s no big declaration or anything but they both seem happy and comfortable.
Jef buys a Curaçao coffee table book as his last grand gesture gift and I’m thinking “cool book, bro” until he shows her he’s drawn stick figures throughout the book. Better.
The morning after her date with Jef, Emily calls Chris over to chat. She explains that she feels split between the two and doesn’t know what to do. But then she says that spending time with Jef and Ricki together made her see that he’s the one and she didn’t even question what their life would be like because that was exactly what it would be.
Emily says she can’t sit with Ari all day without feeling awful because she’s positive it’s Jef so she needs to tell Ari that as much as she loves him, she loves someone else a little more. See, Dad knows best!
Mumbles is asking me how this usually goes down and I explain that usually the Bachelor/Bachelorette waits until their #2 is teary eyed, all mushy and lovestruck, down on one knee ready to propose before breaking it to the poor sap that they are not “the one.” At this point, I regret some of my snarkiness about Emily if she actually shows some class and tells Ari the truth (and makes it last with Jef, because lets be real: this woman does not have a good track record, my friends).
“I’m getting engaged tomorrow.” -Ari, who is incorrect
“That moment when Emily looks in my eyes and can express how she feels is going to feel so good.” – Ari, again incorrect
Emily gets out of the SUV to meet Ari who’s completely oblivious and wrong about everything and she’s crying already. Yet she still kisses him and tells him she missed him! She sits him down and starts balling and squeaking, shaking her head. Ari is catching on even though she’s not speaking in full sentences. And instead of coming out and saying it she hesitates but its enough to let on that yesterday’s date with Jef tipped her scales the other way and so he tells her she doesn’t have to say it. Lets her off easy so she can continue crying, and then she looks at him hopefully like he’ll say something to make it all better. Ugh.
“I did for so long think it was going to be me and you.” -Emily, not helping
He realizes there’s nothing left to say, tells her as such, gives her a kiss on the cheek and says goodbye, thanking her for sparing him the embarrassment of tomorrow, and walks away. She runs after him, crying all the while, and he tells her she’s not going to get the “goodbye, good luck” she’s after. And appropriately so. I don’t think anyone expects him to give her that and I’d say he was more than a gentleman about it. Fare thee well, Ari. In the words of the funny (but not PG movie) Old School (earmuffs/eyemuffs?) when Ari gets home, he’s “gonna get so much ass…like hot boy band ass.” True story.
“I still believe that she’s the love of my life which is what is so painful.” – Ari, heartbroken
Jef meets Neil Lane to pick out a fancy schmancy ring. Me likely the pink gold ring Neil shows Jef. (you can disregard that, as I said that out loud as I wrote it so Mumbles could take note.)
“I love Emily but I don’t want to propose to Emily if she’s going to say no.” – Jef
“I’m not 100% sure I want to get engaged.” – Emily
“If Jef proposed, I’m not really sure that I’d be able to do it.” – Emily
“I’m not gonna be the girl that gets engaged 15 times before she gets married.” -Emily, who seems like she’s on her way there
Does anyone else think their proposal stage is in an odd spot? In the middle of a random hotel/motel/village…?
And then the rehearsed speeches:
“You really are everything that I’ve looked for for so long. You really are my soul mate…I love you so so much. So much.” -Emily
“I feel like the luckiest man in the world… I think God puts the right people in our lives when the timing is just right, and I feel that with us, I feel like the timing is just right….I am so grateful that you tried one more time [for love] because I found my everything, and I’m so in love with you and I promise you, Emily, that if you let me into your life and into Ricki’s life that you’ll never be lonely again. I love you, Emily…” -Jef
(Mumbles thinks Jef’s notes were written on his hand.)
“What I’m about to ask you aren’t just empty words…what I’m about to ask you is a forever thing…Emily, will you marry me?” -Jef, on bended knee
“Yes.” -Emily, after a lot of hesitation and then really the most unromantic thing that could ever be said after a proposal and some kissing: “we’re gonna make it work.” Totally ruined it, lady!
After the engagement, Ricki comes running in (in a dress not nearly as formal as the occasion called for)…and Emily says “hey, Ricki” and then the three of them just walk off together (not nearly as informational as the situation called for)…no “this is my boyfriend”…or “hey, Jef just asked me to marry him and I said yes…” or “hey, Ricki, remember Jef from two days ago?” Poor kid.
After the Final Rose:
“Had Jef not been there, it would be me and Ari sitting here, so happy.” – Emily, not helping Ari feel good about being friends with Jef
And the man of the hour himself arrives:
“We are happy and in love.” – Jef, with a smile
On the awkward amount of time it took Emily to respond to Jef’s proposal? (Chris timed it: Emily made him wait 10 seconds. That’s a long time.): “I don’t know…but I was scared and I don’t want to be the girl that gets engaged a bunch of times and never gets married.” – Emily, who, let’s be honest, just really loved that sparkly ring.
Heres the scoop: Jef is moving to Charlotte so they don’t have to uproot Ricki and it makes sense because he can work from anywhere (but she doesn’t work at all so it would probably make even more sense and really show her commitment to “making this work” if she just moved to Utah, right?), they are already planning a wedding, they want it to be in Charleston, maybe in the spring but she doesn’t want to say when because she doesn’t want to be held to it. Well, good luck with that. I’m not so confident we’ll be watching your ABC special next year.
It’s been a good season, my friends, wouldn’t you say? Are you happy with Emily’s choice and with Jef’s decision to propose? Think we’ll see a wedding next year?
If you’re a Bachelor Pad viewer, have fun with that hot mess of shenanigans. As you may have read, Mumbles, Baxter and I are temporarily in Virginia for work so I hope you’ll stick with me while I share about our life here on the east coast. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement. See you next season!
As I shared, I wasn’t able to write about the last few episodes in a timely manner due to traveling but let me tell you that I had quite the marathon when I got time at home and it involved a lot of wine and cookie butter! This episode we’re down to the final three and can we all just agree that Emily is one lucky lady? I mean, wow. A great group of guys she’s got and I have an inkling of a bad feeling it’s all going to end really poorly. But in any case, let’s enjoy it as it unfolds…
Here’s Emily’s take on her last three suitors:
Sean — it was love at first sight and he’s everything she wants in a husband, plus he’d be the best dad ever. He’s funny and he’s a big, muscular guy with a sensitive side. “If we were to get married, Sean would be there fr me no matter what. He gives me butterflies in my heart.”
Jef — loves his style and that he’s his own person. Jef has a little bit of an edge but he’s sweet and thoughtful. He has his own sense of humor and Emily thinks they have the same sense of humor. He makes her laugh more than anyone. He can make anything fun. “My connection with Jef is unlike anything I’ve had in a really long time. He’s so romantic and genuine. I feel like he would make the best husband and stepdad.”
Arie — their connection was immediate. He’s funny. “I call Arie ‘Sweet Arie’ (lamest nickname ever) because he’s so attentive and he’s always building me up. When I think about what my life wold look like with Arie I know before anything else that he would just adore me forever. He’d be my best friend. He’d just love me forever.”
Emily is in love with three guys!
Sean
Sean is the only one yet to not say I love you. I’m thoroughly impressed by Sean and even more so when he uses the word “imperative”…you just don’t get good diction on this show. I’m not taking that for granted. They take the usual we’re-in-a-new-place-date: a helicopter to a private island. Yawn.
Emily is concerned because she learned from Sean’s family that he was buddy-buddy with his ex, so when she confronts him with this he has a hard time explaining himself. He probably doesn’t want to follow up all the ex questions with “but, oh by the way, I’m totally in love with you.” (good call) but Emily still seems disappointed that in the midst of her interrogations the L word hasn’t magically appeared romantically. I hate that this part becomes like one of those carnival races with horses where you have to squirt water into a hole to move your horse along…it’s like Sean is trailing behind the other two because he hasn’t yet said I love you, but even then… I wonder if that squirt will be enough to put him ahead. Still with me?
Tonight Emily has a romantic beach date and she is definitely expecting an “I love you.” But before he professes his feelings, Sean shares a letter he has written to Ricki and it is maybe the most honest, sincere and well-written letter ever read aloud on this show. Ever. I’m dying in relief. “I hope to honor you by loving your mom…” Sean says he is excited for his life to change and to be a dad, and assures her that his family has given their blessing and he can’t picture his life without Emily. He finally tells Emily he’s in love with her and she is beaming but instead of saying Sean’s ready to love her forever, she says Sean is ready to love his wife forever. Hmmm….
Sean makes it clear that the fantasy suite will be uninterrupted time together to talk and doesn’t seem at all disappointed when she kicks him out (politely and with a kiss) so he walks away thinking there’s no doubt about it: he’s gonna marry that girl.
Jef
“I’m 100% that I want to be with her but I’m not 100% that this is going to work out.” -Jef, the realist.
“Ricki is the biggest part of Emily’s life and I hope to be the second biggest part of Emily’s life.” -Jef, the practical family man.
“I think we balance each other out…I said that I could keep you out of trouble and you could get me into some trouble. You get me.” -Emily, being lame.
Jef says lots of super lovely things about Emily while they play a sunset montage of the two of them making out and making googly eyes at each other. Emily definitely seems a lot more comfortable and smitten with Jef than with Sean and maybe it’s because she’s had more time to revel in it, but she seems very giddy about Jef saying he loved her.
“The only thing I don’t know about Emily is what it’s like to be with her around Ricki,” says Jef. I don’t think this statement is lost on Jef who understands that that’s maybe the most important thing there is to know about her. What if you hate her kid? What if she’s a little terror? Then what?
Jef asks Emily quite a few serious questions and her answers sound vaguely rehearsed.
Where would you want to live? I’d like to start our own life together somewhere. I’ve never been to SLC so I don’t know if I’d like it there but I’d want to be wherever you are.
Why haven’t things worked out with other guys? Blah blah blah…something about a spark missing…
Do you think I’m a good fit for Ricki? She doesn’t really answer except to say she can picture Jef at home with her while she’s making lunch for Ricki. And he seems satisfied with this. Mmmm…lunch. Things are all good. Men and their food.
“Our families are going to be watching and I want to be respectful…I plan on spending every night with you in our own fantasy suite.” – Jef, the gentleman, before saying something about “bridling these passions.”
All I can think about while she and Jef are making out is: I wonder where she got that dress? She seems kinda bummed that Jef took the wind out of her sails to turn her down for the fantasy suite before she could turn him down.
Arie
All Arie can think about is when he can propose to her. Their connection was immediate and they waste no time talking before they start making out. They go swimming with dolphins in the open ocean which is really awesome. Emily says she knows Arie would be a great dad because of how protective he is of her. And Arie says she saves all the best dates for him, which might be true. And then they continue to make out and talk about how they can never talk because they’re too busy making out. Haha. Deep.
Emily asks Arie about his regular days and it doesn’t seem to mesh too much. He wakes up at 9. (not with a kid you won’t!) he goes out to dinner with friends and goes out for pretty much every meal because he hates being alone. (hmmm…do you know how to cook?)
Arie says he thinks that he’d thinks he’d need to take it really slow to get close to Ricki, that he’d need to gain her trust by being her buddy and he couldn’t just hop in and fulfill the dad role. Emily seems impressed by this idea but maybe it’s because she’s into the idea of not really having to have him around all the time…earlier this season she told Arie she’d like his racecar driver lifestyle of being away for weeks at a time. Yeah, sounds awesome, lady. You love him so much you can’t wait for him to leave. Cool story.
“You’ve been that light at the end of the tunnel for me.” -Emily about Arie
To avoid temptation with Arie, she just doesn’t even give him the fantasy suite card, which I think is absolutely hilarious and I wonder why he doesn’t even say anything about it. Haha. Good Lord, girlfriend. Now she’s crying over her own self restraint.
Chris Harrison’s conversation, like usual, doesn’t reveal anything or help Emily at all. No surprise there.
Video Messages
Sean — the cynic who wants to spend the rest of his life with Emily also wants to be a father to her daughter and live a life in pure happiness. “I love you and I don’t ever want you to forget that.” (Emily seems angry watching this one)
Jef — happy for the journey and now completely in love says their dates have changed his life forever. “At the top of the ferris wheel in London I didn’t ever want to come down, and on the floor in Prague I didn’t ever want to get up.” He’s happy for their future and promises to keep her cheeks sore from laughing. And he also can’t wait to become a family: “together we will watch a thousand sunsets.” (Emily smirks a few times)
Arie — talks about making out. no surprise. “My heart is always racing toward you.” Feeling confident about everything, Arie proclaims that “since the beginning it was always you and me.” He can’t wait to spend the rest of his life reminding her everyday how beautiful she is, inside and out. (Now she’s contemplative and sad)
Roses
Jef
Arie
I am devastated about Sean. I just adore him. Usually I hate when they recycle contestants but I happily nominate him. What a catch. Sad story. I’m pissed at Emily for sitting him down and not saying a word to him, expecting him to say something like he has anything to explain, and the nice guy he is, he does! She sits there silent like a jerk and he sincerely reiterates that he wanted to spend forever with her and he didn’t see goodbye coming. And it doesn’t help that the best thing Emily can come up with to say say is “I wanted it to be you so bad.” She pretty much means “I know you’re way too good for me” and he’s nothing but a gentleman about it and I just ache for him. Dumb broad.
“When she walked out tonight, in my head I thought ‘that’s my wife.’ I knew without a doubt that I was gonna marry her. It hurts. I’ve had all week to think about this. Never did I think that I was going to be going home, all week my thoughts have been consumed with being a father, being a husband, which I was fully prepared to do. I had this beautiful picture of what my life was gonna be like and now it’s gone.” -Sean, sad and embarrassed, yet refined and earnest, probably more than Emily deserves. Sean goes home. If I wasn’t married I’d be one of those crazy but serious ladies writing in to Chris Harrison desperate for a date with him and probably screaming and stalking him at the Men Tell All Show desperate to slip him my number and photo. True story. If that’s gonna be you in the audience next week, good on you, girlfriend. Make that man happy.
Next week: no sneak peeks but it’s the reunion show where Chris plays therapist and asks questions that demand obvious, dumb answers. Not excited. Not unless they say Sean is the next Bachelor. I like that guy and I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t mind a whole season of his smile and sexy beach bod. Just sayin’.
Sunday, July 22 is the last rose episode and I kinda get the feeling that there isn’t going to be a last rose. Anyone else think that? Ugh. Dumb broad.
Tonight’s beverage of choice was an individual Sofia Blanc de Blancs…it’s the perfect single serving of carbonated white wine with a darling little straw. Super cute. Just like Sean. Hmph.
Stick Girl JAM 