Tag Archives: television

The Bachelor Recap Episode 8, season 16 – Hometown dates

Posted in Television & Movies, The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by

Florida: Lindzi
We watch as Lindzi shows Ben the ropes around horses.  Not too sure that there’s any real conversations going on between the two of them.  Here’s a fun conversation they included to highlight their strong connection:
Lindzi: “You been on a horse farm much?”
Ben: “No.”
Lindzi: “Huh. Really?”

Really.

Lindzi says she was in a serious relationship with a guy – the only other guy she’s brought home to meet the fam – but he broke her heart. Ben seems relieved some other guy already broke her in so he doesn’t have to do the dirty work.

[I just have to pause right now to get up on a soapbox and say how much I loathe when these contestants announce any variation of this: “after just a few weeks, I am now so ready to be married to this man…” eww. No, you’re lying to me, you’re lying to America and you’re lying to yourself.  Stop it.  Now back to regularly scheduled recapping…] 

Dad says he’s got some chilled Chardonnay waiting for Ben.  Sounds like dad did his research. In a made-for-tv moment, Ben and Lindzi recall their first date at San Francisco city hall, which just so happens to be where Lindzi’s parents were married. aww…

Dear dad challenges Ben to a horse cart race and my favorite part is Ben holding onto the little dog for dear life. It also happens to be a jack russell terrier, which Ben also owns.  Either that’s a coincidence or dad went a little too far overboard doing the research. 

In alone one with mom, Ben asks if Lindzi is ready to be engaged. Mom says yes.  Ben tells dad he has strong feelings for Lindzi and while he’s not ready to propose he would want her dad’s blessing. Harry doesn’t quite give a straight out yes but he tells Ben he’s a stand up guy and he hopes they continue to build a great relationship. But then toasting later, Harry says they’d be trilled to have Ben as a son-in-law.

Lindzi is in love. Ben is happy. He thinks he is falling in love with her.

Ben’s Pros about Lindzi: level, grounded. (wow, that’s exciting romance).

Kacie B. in Tennessee
Ben pulls up to meet Kacie B. at a high school and finds a marching band playing while Kacie twirls her baton like a beauty pageant pro. Kacie explains that the football field is named after her grandfather, a man whose love story has inspired her. 

Ready to meet the fam? Okay, great. Hey, by the way, Kacie’s dad doesn’t drink. Oh, and one other thing — he’s a federal probation officer.  Might be a bit of a problem because, ya know…Ben makes wine for a living. Ah, the business of booze. That’s the devil’s work here in the bible belt, Ben. Not sure why, knowing this, Ben decides to bring a bottle of wine as a gift. Apparently not the brightest fella.

Dad is skeptical and grills Ben quite a bit – he takes marriage very seriously and cautions Ben to not rush into marriage. Dad somewhat threateningly asks that Ben let Kacie know soon if she is not “the one” so as to shield her from more harm. And just when Benny boy thinks he’s come up for air, Mom doesn’t give him much breathing room either.  Oh, and you betcha boy that she’s seen The Bachelor before – she knows how this all works and she is not a fan of the whole moving into together before marriage idea.  No siree.  Ben says that if he wants to propose then he will be asking both mom and dad for permission but after this disaster-of-a-day it doesn’t seem like that’ll be happening anytime soon.

Despite the awful first encounter meeting her folks, Kacie pulls her sister aside and tells her that Ben is her future husband then informs her father that she will say yes if Ben asks her to marry him. Dad says if Ben were to ask him for his permission he would say no.  Awkward.

Pros about Kacie B.: Ben feels at ease, she brings out the good in him, she knows what she wants.
Cons about Kacie B.: parents are very conservative and might have scared Ben off.

“Make every decision prayerfully and carefully.”
– good advice from Kacie B’s dad

Fort Worth, Texas
According to Ben, his relationship with Nicki has been slow to go (translation: she’s going home soon)

“The last time I brought a man home under these circumstances, I married him.” – Nicki, not helping

In true Texas fashion, Nicki takes Ben into a boot shop and they get geared up with boots, hats and buckles.  I usually love  cowboys but Ben is not doing my generalization fantasy any favors. Yuck. 

Nicki is boring Ben to death with talk about her parents’ concern now that she’s been married and divorced already and seemingly headed straight down that path again. 

“Everyone feels like i gave up but I did not. I put everything I could in for about two years…”
– Nicki, on perseverence

 Ben tells Nicki’s family that he was going to wear the cowboy hat and whole getup but he decided his greasy, undone hair would give off a better impression.

“Well, dad, last time [I got married] I leap into something I wasn’t ready for…and this time I’m gonna be sure…i’m gonna wait six weeks and test our relationship on national television to make sure it’s for real.” -Nicki (okay, I may have taken some courtesies on this one)

Anyone notice Nicki’s creepy brother? Almost expected him to tell Ben he made him a painting a la Todd Cleary in Wedding Crashers. Aside from that, Nicki’s family seems pretty normal.

When Nicki says “I’m in love with you” Ben just says “I know.” Eek.

Scottsdale, AZ is Courtney’s hometown.
Now that she’s back at home on her own Courtney says she feels bad about the way he’s treated the girls so far. Probably because she doesn’t really have to interact with them too much anymore. When she introduces her family, I’m surprised she has a sister. What happened to all that “I don’t get along with girls talk”? 

Talking about Ben like he’s not sitting next to her at the table, Courtney announces to her family that she’s in like/love with Ben. Mom says she’s not convinced.

We see a more genuine side to Courtney at home and perhaps my favorite thing that she says is that she feels deserving – she didn’t say it in her normal snotty way but in an actual sincere sentiment.  At least so it seems.  Either that or she paid these people to be her pretend family so she could seem like she’s got it together.  What about you?  Do you like Courtney more without the other girls around?

After telling Ben she feels ready and excited for the next chapter together, they just so happen to stumble upon a wedding being set up on property. Courtney tells Ben she always envisioned getting married there. Coincidentally, she’s wearing a white dress. And happens to have pen and paper to write vows. And rings. And a bow tie for Ben.  Oh, and a pastor to preside over their vows [perhaps another paid actor?].

Ben wonders if she is too good to be true…but he’s decided the answer is no.

I laugh out loud when I hear Courtney recite the vows that she’s apparently just written because she quotes Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw word-for-word: “I’m looking for real love; consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love…” wow. But then she goes on to tell him she’s ready to get married and she is in love with him.  And he eats. it. up.  And I can practically see the thought cloud above Courtney’s head: this is such a done deal.  [smirk, giggle, eye sparkle].

Roses:
Courtney, Ben’s #1 says “I do” to the rose (ya know, because they’re ‘almost married’)
Lindzi, the downhome country cowgirl
Nicki, on her way to divorce #2

I had a feeling that Kacie B. (my favorite) would be going home but it was still sad to see. It was clear from her home visit that their lives are very different. Instead of giving her any explanation or clarity about why he’s sending her home, Ben just apologizes a few times and sends her on her way. She keeps it together in front of him but loses it in the limo and I wish she would’ve asked him instead of crying/yelling at the cameraman in the limo “What the f*%! happened? What the f*%! happened?” Indeed. What f*%! did happen, Ben?  (poor thing, that video clip is going to be referenced every time anyone speaks her name moving forward.  We can all watch for it at The Women Tell All episode). My theory is that Ben knows he’s going to pick someone else (Courtney) and he took dear ‘ole bible-hugging, criminal rehabilitator daddy for reals and decided to cut Kacie B. loose before it went on too much longer. What’s your theory? 

Gotta say, though, I wouldve really liked to see Kacie B. and her dad pull out batons (hers school issued with tassels, his law enforcement issued) and give Ben a few whacks for being such an idiot and never even combing his hair. (really, somebody tell this guy that the seriously matted part down the center is not doing him any good).

Now that my favorite, cutie pie Kacie B., is out of the running, I’m even more convinced that Courtney is Ben’s final pick. Lindzi seems way too normal and nice to win so I’m gonna say shes the one left crying on a mountaintop somewhere with crushed dreams and a broken heart. And I just don’t see it with Nicki so I count her out. Who is your pick?

Up next: Switzerland. Helicopter (surprised?), mountaintops, hot tubs, someone comes back, and Courtney wonders if she screwed up talking so badly about all the other girls….


P.S. Did you blink? If you did, you might have missed the sneak peek at Emily’s upcoming season of The Bachelorette. I heart her way more than I ever liked Ben so I’m optimistic. Looking forward to a few weeks of her endearing accent.  Apparently her daughter is old enough now to be subjected to the harsh limelight of reality tv (for those of you who forget Brad’s season, such was the main theme of Emily’s uncertainty despite being quite the Souther Belle charmer). What about you – excited about Emily? I wonder if Bentley will be a contestant…think Brad will make a guest appearance with his therapist in tow?  Are you in for another season of this? Of course you are. Me too. Glad we agree.

The Bachelor Recap episode 7, season 16

Posted in Television & Movies, The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by

Hi there friends. Last night’s episode takes place in Belize with only six lovely ladies left. Ben says he’s got that lovin’ feeling but he’s not ready to sing it out loud anytime soon. Two ladies will be going home after 3 one-on-one dates with no roses on the line, and a group date with a rose that guarantees one lucky lady a trip back to her hometown with Benny Boo.

Musings from Emily:
“It’s beautiful [in Belize] but I’m sharing it with four other girls… and a shark.”
-Emily, about Belize, and Courtney

“Seeing Ben today was like someone slicing a piece of cheesecake and putting it in front of me, then someone else walking over and saying ‘bye bye’ and taking my cheesecake…in swim trunks.” – Emily, loves cheesecake

One-on-one date: “two halves make a whole” Lindzi
Ben and Lindzi take a helicopter ride (surprised?) to The Blue Hole (gorgeous!) where they will be jumping from the helicopter into the water. After falling for Ben [literally] into the water, Lindzi announces to the camera that she’s definitely fallen in love with him. Cheesy, yes, but America loves cheesy. Right? Right. Wondering out loud if she’s ready to take Ben home to meet her family, Lindzi reassures Ben that yes, she is more than ready. I can practically hear the producers prompting in the background: “hey, Lindzi, why don’t you talk to Ben now about whether you think you’re ready for him to meet your parents. okay, good…roll camera…” During their dinner portion of the evening, they decide to write a message in a bottle – a cheesy fairy tale on one side (see, people love cheesy!) and a goofy illustration of them jumping out of a helicopter on the other. A representation of their relationship: on one hand utterly juvenile and ridiculous, and somewhat serious on the other.  Good mix hethinks, and also that he’s pretty sure he’s falling in love with her.

One-on-one date: “Emily, do you Belize in love?”
[Side note: I think I could really make a living at writing these one-liner date cards. Think that’s a job?  Fortune cookie fortune writer/date card one-liner writer. Where do I apply?]

Emily boards a small plane all by her lonesome to meet Ben in a small town to ride bikes, play some ball with the locals, buy some jewelry, and walk barefoot around the city (eww, where are your shoes?). Ben tells Emily he has his heart set on lobster for dinner so they find a guy with a boat to take them out diving for lobsters. Ben can see himself loving Emily. He asks how she feels about possibly taking him home to her family and I cringe when she brings up Courtney again, but she recovers quickly by agreeing they wasted precious together time talking about someone else. It’s all good now. They seem to have a great connection and Emily thinks she’s falling in love with him.

Speaking of Courtney, though…back at the hotel room, Courtney is crying and confessing to Lindzi that her good times with Ben are too few and far between – and it’s just too bad for Ben because she’s lost the spark, now no longer ready to bring him home to her fam.  Oh, and boy does she hate Emily. She says if Ben doesnt give her a one-on-one then she is not ready to take him home to her family. Lucky for her, she pulls the next date card…

One-on-one date: “Courtney, let’s take the next steps in our relationship.”
Courtney is the only woman in this competition who believes Ben must win her and prove to her that she should stay.  Poor guy, doesn’t even recognize the crazy head mind games when Courtney smirks and gets that sparkle in her eye. [They must have classes for that somewhere – she’s been practicing.] Ben takes Courtney to a Mayan temple where they set up a picnic and begin to sweat like crazy.  Hot. To add to the heat, Courtney sets right in on the threats that she wasn’t going to accept a rose if she didn’t get this here one-on-one date, and oh, by the way, “I think the spark is gone,” and she no longer knows whether she wants Ben to meet her family. It’s like she was practicing the speech on Lindzi the night before to see how it would work on Ben. Mumbles is visibly angry at the tv just hearing Courtney’s baby talk voice. [must be part of the Crazy Head Mind Games 201 course.]  Ben tells Courtney that he realized he wants a woman who is a little weird, and apparently she fits that bill.  [yes, if by “weird” you mean “psychotic.”]  At the top of the temple, taking in the beauty of the view, Ben says he feels closer to his father and realizing he is feeling as such with Courtney, he thinks she might be the one.  Cue smirk, batting eyelashes, “weird” laugh, and eye sparkle. 

At dinner, she pulls an Inception moment planting thoughts of Ben asking her father for her hand in marriage by telling him she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to allow him home to meet her family for fear of putting dear old dad through that if she wasn’t feeling it.  More about The Spark. Oh, did you know?  It’s back now. So don’t worry.  Ben revisits his crazy moment of clarity regarding his past, present and future – thinking about his dad, seeing Courtney there with him, and picturing his future with her. At this, Courtney announces to the camera, finger guns drawn and all, that the game is now over. (she even does the sound effects: “pew, pew, pew pew pew pew…” as she takes aim.)  Oh, and to make sure she’s really killed the mood regarding the other women: “the other girls are very boring, so vanilla, very into themselves. I’m not like that.”  Eye sparkle.

“I have a lot of good friends…I have a lot of guy friends…”-Courtney
This should be a huge red flag to Ben and I think he is seeing a defensive side to her, perhaps a little worried that he’s going to go back home with Courtney, host some wine tasting get together and no one is going to like his lady.  See, told you I should be a fortune cookie fortune writer.

Group date: Rachel, Nicki, Kacie: “let’s see whose family I will meet”
Ben sneaks into their room before the sun is up to tell them to put on their swimsuits. They scramble to get ready. Hmmm, shaving right before going in the ocean?…ooh…ouch. Wait, what just happened? It was pitch black and by the time the girls meet him outside it’s bright and sunny. So much for that. Rachel speaks too soon about this being the perfect date for her: she hates sharks and soon finds out that they’ll be swimming with them. Lady also has a bullseye on her back – was it a butterfly? Woof. Rachel freaks out the whole time so Ben will stay with her. The other girls have a jolly good time palling around with the sharks.

Poolside later on in alone time with Rachel, Ben seems bored and only just a little bit more interested with Nicki, methinks he just likes hearing her shower him with compliments. She let him know she’s falling in love with him, and he seemed a bit apathetic. In contrast, he lights up when Kacie comes around and tells him she wants him to come home to meet her family so they can meet the man she’s fallen in love with. He smiles, they kiss, and Kacie gets the rose. She screams, she smiles, she is excited. Lurking mistress Courtney on the balcony looks on while the girls warn Ben to be cautious with Courtney because they fear she isn’t there for the right reasons. dun dun dun duuuun….

Cocktail party
As the girls all discuss how somber and serious they find this particular evening to be, sad at the prospect of having to say goodbye to Ben and to these women they’ve established friendships with [Courtney scrunched her nose, smirked, eye sparkled], Courtney proceeds to tell the girls to liven it up – it went something like this: “I’m happy, the piña colada tastes so good when it hits my lips, hey, let’s get this party started! Oh, no? Oh. Okay, we’ll then don’t fret, girls, this isn’t your (or my) only chance for love.” Right, good pep talk, crazy.

Chris Harrison arrives and announces that Ben has made up his mind about who he wants and there will be no cocktail party. Before the roses get handed out, Ben asks for alone time with Courtney to address his concerns. And in an incredibly superficial way says something along the lines of “hey, are you bein’ real with me? yeah? Cool. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Roses
Kacie – still gets my vote
Nicki – wow, definitely thought she was going home
Lindzi – full of cheesy goodness
Courtney – in it to win it. pew pew!

• Rachel feels very rejected and is very tired of being disappointed.
• Emily says a quick goodbye to Ben in shock and disbelief. She is a pretty crier so kudos to her, and she says some really lovely words, hoping for Ben that there is enough time for him to really get to know the women truly because he deserves someone that is honest and cares just as much about him as she does for herself. Aww, see, more of that and she might still have been around.

Next week: hometown dates!

Who are your final two picks, friends?

The Voice Season 2

Posted in Music & Songs, Television & Movies by

Did you watch The Voice last night? I loved the show last season and this season is looking to be just as good. Here are my two favorite blind auditions so far:

Who are your favorites so far?

 

P.S. In other music-related television show watching: did you also see the premiere of Smash last night?  It’s starting a little slow but I adore Debra Messing so it’s staying on the DVR.

The Bachelor Recap episode 6, season 16

Posted in Television & Movies, The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by

Welcome to Panama City, Panama!  Ben welcomes the ladies to their impressive accommodations at the Trump Ocean Club and as viewers we pick up where we left off – Blakeley is still desperate for a one-on-one date.  Sadly for her, it’s not happening.

One-on-one date: “Will our love survive? Pack three things.”
Kacie B.
Cutie Pie Kacie B. is the first lucky lady to get a second one-on-one. They take a helicopter ride (shocking, right?) around the city to a deserted island. Ben is fearful that they may run out of things to say while stranded together.  Tasked to bring three items with her, all I need to know about Kacie B. is that she chose a MacGuiver inspired corkscrew/knife. Oh, and candy, too. Good call, girlfriend. 

Kacie and Ben don’t have much time to talk whilst chopping at trees with a machete that Ben thoughtfully brought to hack at coconuts and such. On a serious note, Kacie opens up at dinner about an eating disorder she overcame as a teen – she is apprehensive but seems sincere in sharing, wanting Ben to know what’s lead her to become the woman she is today. Ben is supportive and excited to get to know Kacie more, gives her the rose and all is happy and well.

Group date: “let’s get lost.” (or my alternative: “Loincloths and loonies.”)
Emily, Nicki, Lindzi, Casey S., Courtney, Jamie
During a boat ride, the group spots young boys playing soccer in little loin cloths. They pull over and all the kids run away. Not a good sign. Turns out they just went to put on bigger loin cloths.  That’s nice.  The village women take the ladies to put on traditional attire over their swimsuits but in a not surprising move, Courtney doesn’t wear her bikini top underneath her bejeweled top. “Trying the local flavor” is how i believe she justified that one.  She and Ben are quite the pair in their scantily clad garb. Ben is very pleased. 

“I’ve got moves they’ve never seen.” -Courtney, as the blurred bar over her topless chest has a hard time keeping up with her jiggling movements.  Hey, kudos to her – I’m sure she’s provided at least one person with a full-time editing job on this episode.  Schoolgirl flirting tactics at work, instead of helping Ben with his tribal tattoo-inspired body painting, she decides instead to brand him with a B + C = <3. Classy. I’m sure he loved it.

Lindzi and Ben have a nice chat. Lindzi admits that while she puts on the tough lady persona, she’s cried realizing her boyfriend has multiple girlfriends. Ben seems pleased. They make out.

Ben pulls Courtney away and he tells her how much he appreciates her assertiveness and attention and recognizes that it probably gets her in hot water with the other ladies. True story. [cue Courtney’s signature pursed lips, eyebrow raise, smirk, evil eye sparkle.]

Jamie hasn’t kissed Ben yet – she’s probably the only one. She sets out to kiss him but Courtney lingers poolside in the background and Ben’s eyes can’t help but wander to her while Jamie continues a constant stream of word vomit, talking talking talking. Jamie claims to be super anxious and excited and isn’t learning from Courtney that you gotta make the moves yourself. Meanwhile, Courtney continues “winning” in a game apparently she is the only one playing – tempting Ben and testing his focus and restraint, at which he is completely failing.

Emily and Ben get some alone time and instead of ruining it with courtney complaints, she reveals to Ben that there’s another man in her life…a very recent development she claims she wasn’t expecting…well…it’s the Chief.  Ben cracks up. It’s hilarious. She totally pulled it off. Very clever, that girl.  Now knowing she’s impressed Ben with her wit and charm, she is feeling good about herself and where she stands.  With this newfound confidence she decides to apologize to Courtney for making rash judgments.  It’s all quite lovely until Courtney declares that its too late – bridge has already been burned and Emily ain’t never gettin’ off that list.  Whoa.  Understood. 

Ben interjects at that very heated moment to steal Lindzi away so he can give her the rose.

Back with the group, Ben is thanking the girls for a great date and Courtney lets out a loud, audible sigh, clearly bored with the competition.  Apparently relieved to be back in her hotel room, Courtney gets dolled up in anticipation of Ben taking her up on her offer to visit her hotel room.  She waits up and in her voice over we hear her crying, disappointed that Ben never showed.  Wah wah wah….

Two-on-one date: “save the last dance for me” Blakeley and Rachel
Blakeley is so excited to finally have some time with Ben (even though it isn’t exactly the one-on-one she so wanted) and in contrast, Rachel is extremely nervous. The three’s a crowd date starts out exactly as awkward as its going to be all night with a three person hug. Totally lame. Ben is on the hunt for chemistry but honestly, it’s awful with them both. Their dresses are unflattering and hideous – like Big [Blue] Bird and Barbie/Bubblicious/Pepto Cupcake in dress form.  The dancing is hard to watch from my couch so I imagine being there in person wasn’t much more tolerable. In fact, Blakeley laughs out loud at how awful Rachel is. When Blakeley gets Ben alone she cries and presents him with a scrapbook. If Ben isn’t completely scared off at this point, well then gosh. I just don’t know what to say about that. Luckily, Ben is freaked out by receiving a scrapbook from someone he hasn’t even been out with alone yet. He gives Rachel the rose and Blakeley walks out with Ben trotting after her to explain.  The explanation doesn’t ever really help because he tell them he has relationships that are much farther along with other girls to which they just get even more bitter because they blame him for not giving a one-on-one date sooner. Ah, the vicious cycle.

Back at the hotel, Chris Harrison makes a surprise visit to speak with Casey S.  Following a “hey buddy ol’ pal” pat on the shoulder, he reveals to her that three sources have told him she is in love with someone else. Her boyfriend: Michael. Chris says that he spoke to Michael, and in his perspective he believes they are still in a relationship and she was practically living with him before she came on the show. She goes from denying it, to agreeing he’s her ex-boyfriend, to admitting she needs therapy, to saying she doesn’t want to be in love with him, she came on the show hoping to get over him, and now she wishes he would change and want to get married. Okay, yeah, she is in love with him. Yeah, hey, sure, let’s go tell Ben.  Who would’ve thought two girls this episode would be telling Ben they’re in love with someone else. (at least Emily’s was funny).

Ben seems a bit surprised but also happy to have an explanation as to why Casey has been aloof. She talks herself into a hole telling Ben she came on the show to get over her ex. To sum it up for you, this is pretty much how she explained it: “He didn’t want to marry me …you wanna get married…see where I was going with that? And now if i go back…well he doesn’t want me either.”  Ben doesn’t sugar coat it and tells her that she should go home. She waits to get out into the hallway before completely losing it. Luckily Chris is there to console her. Whoa, she’s an ugly crier. I feel ya girlfriend, I am too.

Cocktail party:
Nicki pounces on the opportunity to drench Ben in overtly intense confessions of feeling.  Ben’s mouth says he’s not scared by this, but the eyes bugging out of his head indicate otherwise.  Nicki confesses to the camera that she thinks she’s falling in love. 

Acknowledging that she’s been quite the prude, Jamie tries to remedy her “left-in-the-dust” status with Ben by awkwardly showing him how sexy had intended to be the other day before chickening out while he wasn’t paying attention to her at all because Courtney was frolicking in the pool behind her. Oh, but there Jamie goes trying to straddle him. But, oh! Wait! Dress rips. “Fancy” she calls it.  This is Jamie being fancy. This is funny is what it is. She’s giggling I think out of delirium and I am in need of more wine. A lot more wine.  This is not sexy.  Realizing this isn’t working, she’s decided to logistically talk through what this is supposed to be like in her head so hopefully it will play out right.  Mapping out their plan of kiss attack, this is all just agony as we witness what is clearly the least amount of chemistry leading into the worst kiss experience ever. Bet he would have kept CPA Kissing Queen around a little longer, huh?

Roses:
Lindzi – maybe the most normal at this point.
Kacie B. – still the sweetheart of the group.
Rachel – can’t dance.
Nicki – what do you call a young cougar? I think that might explain Nicki.
Courtney – sourpuss who’s been stood up.
Emily – came to her senses and might have a shot.

Jamie gets sent home but at least she went out with a bang of a performance.

Next week:
Headed to Belize with six ladies left before homeowne dates.  Looks like we’re in store for more dancing and boat rides, and while Kacie will tell Ben she’s falling in love with him, Ben will tell Courtney he sees her in his life, and to complete the circle, Kacie will caution Ben to be careful with Courtney.  (Does this remind anyone else of the chase scene at the end of My Best Friend’s Wedding when George asks “if Michael’s chasing Kimmy, and you’re chasing Michael, who is chasing you?”…I don’t know…I’m a little worried for Kacie.)

Emily wins the gold star for this episode, not only with her funny Chief charade, but busting out a primal rap she wrote at the end. I wasn’t even nervous watching it so you know it was funny. 

P.S. We had major tv issues tonight at our house which caused a minor anxiety attack but luckily Mumbles came to the rescue. Poor tv is really working overtime on Mondays now: Bachelor, The Voice, HIMYM, 2 Broke Girls, Castle, Alcatraz, Smash, Gossip Girl, Hart of Dixie…I got a lot going on.

 

 

The Bachelor Recap episode 5, season 16

Posted in Television & Movies, The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by

There are 11 ladies left and this week is in Puerto Rico, which means it is really starting to suck get serious…honestly, stuck in a hotel room with a bunch of girls you barely know instead of having a good time exploring the city with a guy you’re kinda sorta dating, plus if you get sent home, it’s a long lonely plane ride.  Good news is every girl gets a date this week. And the first is… 

One -on-one date: “let’s find new love in old San Juan” (spoken in really bad Spanish)  Nicki
Ben says Nicki brings out a playful kid-like side of him. Helicopter escort picks them up for a tour of old San Juan. Nicki is elated and says, “We’re doing things we’ve never done before, like God is smiling down on us (as they buy snow cones from a street vendor)…it’s so perfect, like nothing could go wrong (cue terrential downpour).”

According to Ben: “It’s raining gatos.”  (y por que no perros, Ben?)

Now they get to buy new clothes and walk all over town and they find themselves on a bench across the street from a church wedding just about to start, the perfect opportunity for Ben to bring up her failed past marriage.  Coincidence? I think not. Ben says he’s not sure if he’s ready to get engaged…but in contrast Nicki’s already been married. Coming clean on the shortcomings to her failed marriage, Nicki is desperate to make Ben believe she deserves a second chance at love.

Group date: “Diamonds are a girls beat friend” Lindzi, Courtney, jennifer, Kacie B., Emily, Rachel, Casey s, Jamie, Blakeley.
Oh, Benny boop oop sure tricked us all…he’s not talking diamond jewelry just yet! For now, it’s a baseball diamond…talk about disappointment!  Not sure how or why the women are surprised, as clearly diamonds weren’t the perfect accessory to complement the athletic ensembles the producers instructed all the ladies to wear.  (Although, diamond jewelry to wear later on would have been a clever touch.)

After some practice drills, buddy boy Chris Harrison shows up to announce a romantic beach party happening later but…wait for it…not everyone is invited. Oh no! Winners get Ben on the beach, losers get sent back to the hotel to wallow with Ben & Jerry.  To add to the anxiety of rejection, it’s time to pick teams – of course Emily & Courtney are on opposite teams – and Lindzi is chosen by Ben as the MVP to play on both teams.

“Who knew that strippers could play baseball…?” – Courtney, in reference to Blakeley.

Blakeley gives her losing blue team a “I can’t believe you didn’t want this as bad as I did/why didn’t you play extra curricular softball prior to the show to train for this exact moment?” speech. Okay, that’s not a direct quote but you get the gist. Lots of tears in the loser’s dugout and on the bus ride back to the hotel, smearing that black paint under the eyes (which is a lot worse than mascara, let me tell you).

Musings from Courtney indicate that she has no competition in Lindzi, Jamie, or Casey S., but that cutie pie Kacie B. is one to worry about. I notice that Kacie B. is one of if not the youngest girl here. Age ain’t nothin’ but a thing for Ben as he tells her how much he likes her and appreciates her.  This leads Courtney to come up with a plan of her own to lure Ben away after he returns from giving Kacie B. the rose…to show him what a real woman is all about. In her words, “these girls have no idea what I’m capable of.”  [eyebrow raise, sly smile, weird chuckle, eye twinkle/sparkle].

“Let’s go skinny dipping…It’s not every day we’re in Puerto Rico together…” [although in case you’ve forgotten, I was just here…just not with you.] –Courtney  (yeah, I may have taken some liberties of translating her eyebrow movements in that last part of the quote).

One-on-one date:  “Let’s find love somewhere private” Elyse
She’s got on her huge hoop earrings, a tighter dress than necessary, and a super fake orange tan to match — just in time for their yacht to pull up off the shoreline. Ben’s intro into this date sounds like Ben wants to give Elyse a nice lavish date before sending her packing. Until he learns that Elyse left her job and missed her best friend’s wedding to be there. Ooh. Ouch. Clearly the conversation isn’t getting much better, so hey, let’s jump off the boat a few times!

[insert commercial which confirms casting for next Bachelorette, Emily Maynard, Brad’s ex-fiancée/single mom].

A candlelit dinner on the beach – Ben’s hair is a floppy mess, which looks ridiculous paired with a tuxedo. Ben is quite clearly turned off by Elyse’s comments about having accomplished everything she wanted to as a single lady and now just wanting to be engaged and married…she’s just so sick of being single, gosh darn it!  Ah, yes, then Elyse gives Ben just the opening he needs by saying “There’s no need to not be honest with people, ya know?…it just makes things worse”  Promptly agreeing with a seemingly heavy heart, Ben quickly tells her that he hasn’t found in her what he has found with other women, and with only a little time left with other women, he can’t give her the rose. Oh, and he’s sorry.  I think they should at least give her a bottle of wine to booze it up on the way out, don’t you? 

Then there’s Ben walking barefoot on the beach, pant legs rolled up, strolling in the moonlight with rose in hand, a sweaty, fake-sad mess.  Nice shot.

I don’t know why the girls are all so crazy shocked when the bellman comes to get Elyse’s bag. I smirk in like-minded thinking when Courtney wonders aloud whether Elyse drank too much and “her Jersey Shore came out.” Hey, not too far off, right?

Musings from Courtney: “I guess Elyse leaving is bittersweet; sweet for me, bitter for her.”

Ready to make good on her promise from the group date, Courtney is hiding out sneakily in a staircase with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses for a nightcap. “I’m hoping I’m a vision for him… A sight for sore eyes because after the date with Elyse his eyes are probably sore.” – Courtney

Ben looks like a scared schoolboy who thinks he’s in trouble and then like he’s getting peer pressured into something naughty.  Trying to establish and understand the parameters and probably wanting to make sure he heard her right…”you wanna get full-on naked, right?”  They strip down and jump in the waves, and frolick and laugh then make out and probably a lot more than that which we can’t see.

Cocktail Party
Ben says he and Courtney shared a very intimate moment and now he feels really crappy. Totally sounds like manipulative peer pressure remorse.  Or like he didn’t use protection and he’s wondering if maybe Emily is right and maybe Courtney really is crazy and deceitful and maybe now he just fathered a child with a crazy lady.  A hot, crazy lady.  Essentially, he’s trying to give himself a pep talk to try not to keep picturing Courtney naked when he sees other girls. I think he’s pretty much picked his winner and this show is over. Agree?

•   Jennifer wants to take Ben home to meet her family. And keep her reign as best kisser.
•   Blakeley tells Ben that she had an epiphany: she finally realized she deserves to find a good man and good love. Ben tells her he’s happy she opened up because it’s been so hot and cold between them. And I think really he just wanted to have a hot and heavy make out session. Hmmm….maybe enough to keep her in the game another week. But definitely has provided him with the easy out that she’s now been given a new outlook on love and life, and he’s played his part in making it all happen.
•   Courtney is trying to hint to the girls that she went skinny dipping by starting the conversation.  If Kacie B. would’ve had an opportunity to chime in with her sorority/girl scout icebreakers, it might have escalated into a game of “I never.”  I almost wish Courtney would just tell them to cause a crazy stir.
•   Emily apologizes to Ben for bringing up Courtney last week and tells Ben she’s going to keep focused on just the two of them but then proceeds to get back into defending what she said last week because she thinks Courtney is a weirdo. You’re getting your doctorate, honey, use your big girl words. Ben advises Emily to put it out of her head and tread lightly.  Translate: “I’m gonna marry that girl with the awesome, naked body and you’re going home.”

 Ben says this has been the most pivotal week so far. Yeah, duh. A model got naked with you, dude! Doesn’t get much better than that on this show.

Roses:
Nicki, who’s a bit needy
Kacie B., the cutie pie
Lindzi, the MVP
Jamie – still gets no air time
Rachel…blah.
Courtney – is winning
Casey S., Courtney’ss BFF
Blakeley – stripper who defies odds by playing baseball
Emily – now walking on eggshells

Whoa! Guess he got all the smooching he needed from Jennifer now that he’s quite a few bases ahead with Courtney. She’s super classy saying goodbye, poor thing, but (much like me) is not a graceful crier.

Panama City, Panama is up next week.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and throw my picks for hometown dates: Courtney, Kacie B., Lindzi, and Nicki. Or maybe Jamie…she doesn’t get any airtime plus she had an interesting home life which would make for an entertaining home visit.  Who are your top four picks?