The Bachelor Recap episode 7, season 16

Hi there friends. Last night’s episode takes place in Belize with only six lovely ladies left. Ben says he’s got that lovin’ feeling but he’s not ready to sing it out loud anytime soon. Two ladies will be going home after 3 one-on-one dates with no roses on the line, and a group date with a rose that guarantees one lucky lady a trip back to her hometown with Benny Boo.

Musings from Emily:
“It’s beautiful [in Belize] but I’m sharing it with four other girls… and a shark.”
-Emily, about Belize, and Courtney

“Seeing Ben today was like someone slicing a piece of cheesecake and putting it in front of me, then someone else walking over and saying ‘bye bye’ and taking my cheesecake…in swim trunks.” – Emily, loves cheesecake

One-on-one date: “two halves make a whole” Lindzi
Ben and Lindzi take a helicopter ride (surprised?) to The Blue Hole (gorgeous!) where they will be jumping from the helicopter into the water. After falling for Ben [literally] into the water, Lindzi announces to the camera that she’s definitely fallen in love with him. Cheesy, yes, but America loves cheesy. Right? Right. Wondering out loud if she’s ready to take Ben home to meet her family, Lindzi reassures Ben that yes, she is more than ready. I can practically hear the producers prompting in the background: “hey, Lindzi, why don’t you talk to Ben now about whether you think you’re ready for him to meet your parents. okay, good…roll camera…” During their dinner portion of the evening, they decide to write a message in a bottle – a cheesy fairy tale on one side (see, people love cheesy!) and a goofy illustration of them jumping out of a helicopter on the other. A representation of their relationship: on one hand utterly juvenile and ridiculous, and somewhat serious on the other.  Good mix hethinks, and also that he’s pretty sure he’s falling in love with her.

One-on-one date: “Emily, do you Belize in love?”
[Side note: I think I could really make a living at writing these one-liner date cards. Think that’s a job?  Fortune cookie fortune writer/date card one-liner writer. Where do I apply?]

Emily boards a small plane all by her lonesome to meet Ben in a small town to ride bikes, play some ball with the locals, buy some jewelry, and walk barefoot around the city (eww, where are your shoes?). Ben tells Emily he has his heart set on lobster for dinner so they find a guy with a boat to take them out diving for lobsters. Ben can see himself loving Emily. He asks how she feels about possibly taking him home to her family and I cringe when she brings up Courtney again, but she recovers quickly by agreeing they wasted precious together time talking about someone else. It’s all good now. They seem to have a great connection and Emily thinks she’s falling in love with him.

Speaking of Courtney, though…back at the hotel room, Courtney is crying and confessing to Lindzi that her good times with Ben are too few and far between – and it’s just too bad for Ben because she’s lost the spark, now no longer ready to bring him home to her fam.  Oh, and boy does she hate Emily. She says if Ben doesnt give her a one-on-one then she is not ready to take him home to her family. Lucky for her, she pulls the next date card…

One-on-one date: “Courtney, let’s take the next steps in our relationship.”
Courtney is the only woman in this competition who believes Ben must win her and prove to her that she should stay.  Poor guy, doesn’t even recognize the crazy head mind games when Courtney smirks and gets that sparkle in her eye. [They must have classes for that somewhere – she’s been practicing.] Ben takes Courtney to a Mayan temple where they set up a picnic and begin to sweat like crazy.  Hot. To add to the heat, Courtney sets right in on the threats that she wasn’t going to accept a rose if she didn’t get this here one-on-one date, and oh, by the way, “I think the spark is gone,” and she no longer knows whether she wants Ben to meet her family. It’s like she was practicing the speech on Lindzi the night before to see how it would work on Ben. Mumbles is visibly angry at the tv just hearing Courtney’s baby talk voice. [must be part of the Crazy Head Mind Games 201 course.]  Ben tells Courtney that he realized he wants a woman who is a little weird, and apparently she fits that bill.  [yes, if by “weird” you mean “psychotic.”]  At the top of the temple, taking in the beauty of the view, Ben says he feels closer to his father and realizing he is feeling as such with Courtney, he thinks she might be the one.  Cue smirk, batting eyelashes, “weird” laugh, and eye sparkle. 

At dinner, she pulls an Inception moment planting thoughts of Ben asking her father for her hand in marriage by telling him she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to allow him home to meet her family for fear of putting dear old dad through that if she wasn’t feeling it.  More about The Spark. Oh, did you know?  It’s back now. So don’t worry.  Ben revisits his crazy moment of clarity regarding his past, present and future – thinking about his dad, seeing Courtney there with him, and picturing his future with her. At this, Courtney announces to the camera, finger guns drawn and all, that the game is now over. (she even does the sound effects: “pew, pew, pew pew pew pew…” as she takes aim.)  Oh, and to make sure she’s really killed the mood regarding the other women: “the other girls are very boring, so vanilla, very into themselves. I’m not like that.”  Eye sparkle.

“I have a lot of good friends…I have a lot of guy friends…”-Courtney
This should be a huge red flag to Ben and I think he is seeing a defensive side to her, perhaps a little worried that he’s going to go back home with Courtney, host some wine tasting get together and no one is going to like his lady.  See, told you I should be a fortune cookie fortune writer.

Group date: Rachel, Nicki, Kacie: “let’s see whose family I will meet”
Ben sneaks into their room before the sun is up to tell them to put on their swimsuits. They scramble to get ready. Hmmm, shaving right before going in the ocean?…ooh…ouch. Wait, what just happened? It was pitch black and by the time the girls meet him outside it’s bright and sunny. So much for that. Rachel speaks too soon about this being the perfect date for her: she hates sharks and soon finds out that they’ll be swimming with them. Lady also has a bullseye on her back – was it a butterfly? Woof. Rachel freaks out the whole time so Ben will stay with her. The other girls have a jolly good time palling around with the sharks.

Poolside later on in alone time with Rachel, Ben seems bored and only just a little bit more interested with Nicki, methinks he just likes hearing her shower him with compliments. She let him know she’s falling in love with him, and he seemed a bit apathetic. In contrast, he lights up when Kacie comes around and tells him she wants him to come home to meet her family so they can meet the man she’s fallen in love with. He smiles, they kiss, and Kacie gets the rose. She screams, she smiles, she is excited. Lurking mistress Courtney on the balcony looks on while the girls warn Ben to be cautious with Courtney because they fear she isn’t there for the right reasons. dun dun dun duuuun….

Cocktail party
As the girls all discuss how somber and serious they find this particular evening to be, sad at the prospect of having to say goodbye to Ben and to these women they’ve established friendships with [Courtney scrunched her nose, smirked, eye sparkled], Courtney proceeds to tell the girls to liven it up – it went something like this: “I’m happy, the piña colada tastes so good when it hits my lips, hey, let’s get this party started! Oh, no? Oh. Okay, we’ll then don’t fret, girls, this isn’t your (or my) only chance for love.” Right, good pep talk, crazy.

Chris Harrison arrives and announces that Ben has made up his mind about who he wants and there will be no cocktail party. Before the roses get handed out, Ben asks for alone time with Courtney to address his concerns. And in an incredibly superficial way says something along the lines of “hey, are you bein’ real with me? yeah? Cool. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Roses
Kacie – still gets my vote
Nicki – wow, definitely thought she was going home
Lindzi – full of cheesy goodness
Courtney – in it to win it. pew pew!

• Rachel feels very rejected and is very tired of being disappointed.
• Emily says a quick goodbye to Ben in shock and disbelief. She is a pretty crier so kudos to her, and she says some really lovely words, hoping for Ben that there is enough time for him to really get to know the women truly because he deserves someone that is honest and cares just as much about him as she does for herself. Aww, see, more of that and she might still have been around.

Next week: hometown dates!

Who are your final two picks, friends?

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