Category Archives: Thoughts & Stories

Observations, thoughts and stories about work, love, friends, family, and everything else I love.

Good Reads: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Posted in Thoughts & Stories by

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
(original cover)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is one of my all-time favorite books. A little treasure of a book, it was given to me by a dear friend in high school (which feels like the perfect time to read it because Charlie is struggling and finding his way through life in high school) and since then, I’ve probably read it a dozen times.  And I’ve shared it probably with just as many people. It’s a book that changes you, changes your perspective, makes you think, makes you sad, causes you to create silence in your life to look at the things around you and inside you, and try to understand it all. I think it’s easy to say that I take something new away from each time I read it, a new perspective or the same one, affected differently but deeply, and I think that’s probably true for most people who read it.

I found the review below on Amazon.com and wanted to share it because it reads less like a review and more like a friend pulling the tattered book out of their bag and setting it on a table in front of you — pages bent and certain paragraphs or quotes highlighted (or maybe like mine, the poem page earmarked because I’ve gone back to it so many times) — and sincerely telling you why you need to read it, what it’s about and how it’s relatable (which should be how all reviews read), just begging for you to read it and absorb it so you can connect, congratulate and commiserate together after you finish it. I wanted to share this particular review because I think even in the way people describe this beloved book, there’s a lot to learn in that.  I can imagine this being a book club selection and discussing it for months, and dear goodness, the things we might know of our friends if we truly talked and shared and listened after reading this book and dissecting its sadness.

I can’t find my copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower now – surely it’s with someone I gave it to or someone they gave it to, or perhaps it’s found its way to a used bookstore for someone else to discover my underlines and bent pages – that’s the magic in books, right?

Have you read The Perks of Being a Wallflower?  I’d love to know your thoughts about it.


“I read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky, in April of my sophomore year at college. A friend lent it to me and I had read it within twelve hours. This book reaches inside of you and pulls everything to the surface. It is a beautiful and painful story about a 15 year old boy, Charlie, moving through his freshmen year of highschool. It is written in letter form to an unknown friend. Charlie is always completely honest, whether he is describing his first “beer” party where he witnessed a girl being raped by her boyfriend, or explaining masturbation and his excitement for this newfound “activity.” Charlie is a wallflower who observes people and feels very deeply for the experiences occuring around him. His favorite Aunt Helen died in a car accident when he was six, and he holds himself accountable, and his best friend committed suicide a year before he began the letters. His English teacher realizes Charlie’s potential and brilliance and asks him to try and participate, which Charlie agrees to do. He becomes friends with two seniors Patrick and Samantha and begins to experience dances, parties, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, pot, love, bad trips and sexuality. We feel exhilerated when Charlie describes his happy moments, and we are swallowed in pain when Charlie is overwhelmed by his depression. Charlie’s realizations are eye opening for us, and we are so captivated and immersed in his life that his life and stories become a very real experience. This book is about moments, and being as much alive within each moment as possible. It is about looking around us at the world and the people and appreciating that we don’t know what their lives are like, and the pain and happiness that they experience day to day, so we shouldn’t judge them but accept them and appreciate them. A favorite section of this book, for me, was when Charlie describes the movie It’s A Wonderful Life, and how he wished the movie had been about one of the less heroic characters so the audience could have seen the meaning that this person’s life held. That moment is just one example of Charlie’s amazing intuition. This book should not be limited to a certain “category” of people. I truly believe that it would be understood, appreciated, and loved by everyone aged 12 (+ or – a few) and up regardless of gender, race, sexuality, etc. This book changes you, if only for a moment, but you are not the same upon completion, and you become more appreciative of life than ever.” – Emily, Amazon.com

P.S. Don’t get the book with the movie promotion cover.  That’s stupid. I hate movie poster books. I haven’t seen the movie – I want to and I will – but please don’t be unawesome. Get the original cover book, read it, then go see the movie.  You’re welcome.

P.S. 2 Here’s an article that the author of the book/director of the movie, Stephen Chbosky, did for the Washington Post.

P.S. 3 If anyone wants to buy me this card of a quote from the book and mail it to me so I can frame it, that’d be great. Thanks.

card by SparrowNestScript on Etsy

The Four Corners of Want and Want Not

Posted in Thoughts & Stories by

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m standing on Four Corners (the exact point where New Mexico, Utah, Arizona and Colorado meet).  Rather, I feel more like I’ve been standing there a while and now I’m sitting, kind of looking over my shoulder one way for something, then glancing out another direction, legs crossed, fiddling with my hands, twirling my hair in my fingers, fidgeting and trying to get comfortable.  And now that I think about it: it’s also hot.

The hot part is probably because it’s 85 degrees in southern California despite the fact that it’s almost November.  But the rest — the rest is just me.

In one corner I want to spend some time and money redecorating our spare room in our house — we use it as a closet, a guest bedroom, an office, and for craft/gift storage.  But it’s really not functioning well for any of those things. After living there for a year and a half, I think we ought to start using the space in ways that better suit how we actually live.  Take the desk, for example. It’s a large solid oak desk that Mumbles has had since he was younger – it’s a great desk but we can’t even use the hutch (which is in the garage) because it’s too big.  Not to mention, neither one of us has ever actually sat down at the desk to do any work.  Not once!  And I don’t craft in there either because I’m usually up to those shenanigans on the floor in the living room or kitchen while we watch tv and hang out.  And that is further complicated by my storage — half of my crafting supplies are on a bookcase in the second bedroom and the other stuff is tucked away neatly into a large trunk which serves as our coffee table in the living room.  So the desk mainly accumulates trinkets, change and trash when Mumbles empties his pockets at the end of the day, along with discarded clothes draped over it, and stacks of papers that need to be filed.  It probably should have the printer sitting on it, but that’s still on the floor not plugged in because like I said: we don’t actually use the desk to do work.

our futon/bed/couch in the spare bedroom

That was just the desk!  Most of the room is consumed by a futon couch bed we got for Dr. T’s days of staying with us during her rotations last year and before her wedding.  Now it goes unused except for the very rare overnight visitor. Other than that, we never sit on it. But it is cute.  And lastly, Mumbles uses the closet in this room for his clothes and shoes and our luggage which he must because I take up all the room in our master closet (I do agree that, yes, I could clean it out and organize it way more efficiently, but that would probably add to the crux of this whole post which is: spend the time and money to do it or wait it out?) Because in the other corner of this dilemma, we thought we’d be looking for a bigger home soon so maybe I should be concentrating on saving my energy and earnings for that.

The other big ticket weighing on my mind is a car.  I love my SUV but if we want to get some money for it, now’s the time to sell her while she still looks fabulous and shiny. And she is. I love her but I also love the idea of a smaller car (although I’ve only ever driven an SUV so it somewhat frightens/makes me uncomfortable to be driving so low to the ground.  Then again, the concept of better gas mileage has me pretty smitten (isn’t everyone?).  The resistance here lies in that I thought I’d have this SUV for another two years or so and since she’s got all the fancy trimmings and has been paid off for a while, I’m having a hard time imagining a car payment again. Every month. Ugh.

Another item that’s gonna take a pretty penny: a new computer.  I bought an HP laptop in college as a desktop replacement, and at 17 glorious inches with a full keyboard, it absolutely is.  But the problem is that I hate it.  Maybe I’ve grown too used to my iPad and I just need to buy a wireless keyboard and mouse with it for longer typing projects.  Or do that and also buy a Mac desktop? Or, suck it up and just buy a MacBook Pro.  I’ve been thinking of that last option but then I think about my bank account balance dropping by two thousand dollars and it’s a little harder to agree to it.  I do note the exasperating logic “I can buy 4 of these HP laptops for the price of one Apple!” is what got me into this mess in the first place so that’s not helping.

I’m a bit stuck in this in-between feeling of want and want not.
Have you ever been there?  Is it hot?

I hate Halloween

Posted in Thoughts & Stories by

Really, I do. I can’t help it. I hate Halloween. I loathe the costumes, I curse the doorbell every time it rings and causes the dog to bark, I cringe at the thought of spiders and their webs (real and fake), I despise zombies and monsters (except of the Pixar sort), and candy corns are just gross. There! I said it!

Except for the thought of dressing Baxter up as Elf or Santa (because I LOVE Christmas!), there’s nothing that excites me. Except maybe the movie Hocus Pocus. That’s just magnificently awesome. The only truly redeeming thing about Halloween is…you guessed it! Candy! I am definitely a lady that can appreciate an abundance of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups around the office in the weeks following the dreadful holiday. Other than that, though, I’ll be switching off the lights, curling up on the couch and watching a decidedly non-scary movie this October 31.

What about you? Dressing up? Going to a spooky party or those awful horror houses and theme parks (ick!)?

20121018-101102.jpg

This is about as Halloween as I get.

First Dance Songs

Posted in Family & Motherhood, Thoughts & Stories by

this is what our summer looked like!

Mumbles and I just finished one heck of a wedding season. We will forevermore dub 2012 as “The Year of the Wedding” because we had seven — yes, seven! — weddings to attend in the span of five months, plus one that we couldn’t attend because it fell on the same day as another. Not to mention bridal showers, baby showers, graduations, and the whole moving to Virginia thing. Dr. T (Mumbles’s sister) and the Deputy were married earlier this year (see her “Love Birds” Bridal Shower), along with childhood friends, a former coworker/friend from college, a business partner, two sorority sisters (one who married one of Mumbles’s fraternity brothers and the other a rockstar, like I always knew she would), and a friend that Mumbles plays softball with married the sister of one of his fraternity brothers who used to date a former co-worker of mine (whew!). Our summer was jam-packed with love and marriage, and every ceremony was a happy flashback to our own wedding day, giving us time to reflect on our life together and how thankful we are for the growth and experiences we’ve shared since saying “I do.”

Our first dance as husband and wife
(photo by Brandon Kidd Photography)

Aside from watching the groom as he sees his bride walking down the aisle, my absolute favorite part of any wedding is hearing what the newlyweds selected as their first dance song. When choosing a song, you’re looking for something sweet yet significant, it needs to communicate your love and devotion to each other, spur a collective sigh from all your guests and it should probably shoot not to offend anyone. It’s a big deal. Picking just one song is made even harder if you don’t particularly have a song to call your own (go ahead, right now just take a moment to picture Dermot Mulroney softly singing “The Way You Look Tonight” in your ear…I’ll wait while you enjoy that.). You’re welcome. Back with me? Great.

I obsessed for hours on end, poring over options to ensure just the right music was playing at all the important moments of my big day, willfully guiding how I wanted to feel and how I wanted guests to feel. (Kinda like music in movies will tell you when to shut your eyes because something scary is going to happen. Yeah, like that but romantic and lovely and happy. Not scary.) From the processional (“Happy as the Sun” by Tyrone Wells), the song I walked down the aisle to (“Lullaby” by the Dixie Chicks), the recessional that celebrated our first kiss as Mr. & Mrs. (“This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)” by Natalie Cole), our entrance into the reception to get the celebration started (“I Gotta Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas), and the cake cutting (“Sugar So Sweet” by Tyrone Wells)…all of these songs elicit nostalgia and happy memories for me. Gosh, even some of the songs I almost picked get me a little gushy when I hear them, sometimes announcing to Mumbles “this is the song we almost played while our moms were seated!” like he cares at all. I know I’m not alone in the whole nostalgia thing because I asked some friends if they would share their first dance songs and got a lot of responses that said things like “oh, I love our song!” or “how special” and a lot of exclamation points and smiley faces accompanied them so I know I was on to something.

So here they are, some of the first dance songs chosen by some of my favorite people (myself included):

  • Mumbles and I swayed and looked into each other’s eyes all dreamy like while Brad Paisley crooned “Then.”
  • Mumbles’ brother and his wife danced to “She’s Everything” by Brad Paisley (what can we say? that guy knows how to make a lady swoon!)
  • Dr. T (formerly Merrett) and the Deputy chose one of my almost selections: “Feels like Home” by Chantal Kreviazuk (you’d recognize it if you’ve ever seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days).
  • Our good friends from college, Brent & Amanda (whom we affectionately refer to as “Cappy” and “Panda” — hey, we like nicknames around here) danced in the grass surrounded by their bridal party to “Pistol” by Dustin Kensrue. Dancing in the grass was so intimate and romantic, it just makes me sigh seeing the photo I took from that day. Just lovely.

  • Back when I officially became BFOTB (though I’ve recently been promoted to BFOTBM: Best Friend of the Baby Mama), my BFOTB (she’s still mine…I’ll longingly wish to forever be a bride!) and her hubby have great taste and chose “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys. Good one, friend.
  • Kacee (of Kacee Geoffroy Hair + Makeup…maybe you know her? You should. She is simply fabulous and has done hair and makeup at half of these weddings I’m referring to — mine included! — and you should check out her blog for product recommendations, makeup & hair tips, and more) and her stud of a husband went classic country with Alan Jackson’s “Like Red on a Rose.”
  • Mumbles’s cousin Ryan & his wife Page took to the dance floor with “Never Love You Enough” by Brian McComas. Page is my favorite friend-turned-family-by-marriage and you’ll adore her just as much as I do if you read her blog, Page on Paper, which chronicles her adventures through moving from SoCal to SF and now to Arizona plus home and crafty goodness we all love. Also, I should note that it was my job during their ceremony to press the play button for Adele’s version of “To Make You Feel My Love” (Perfection! This song is good no matter who sings it!).
  • Our friends Ashley & Anthony chose a song that suits their beach-chic lifestyle: the “Better Together” remix by Jack Johnson & Paula Fuga. Makes me smile and relax every time I hear it!
  • Elissa & Bobby (Bobby performed our wedding ceremony!) also had a song that really suited them in “Me and You” by Kenny Chesney. Love it.
  • My gold friend Mel (we bonded over our Girl Scout adventures when we met in sorority because we’re dorky like that but come on, sorority life is pretty much an extension of Girl Scouts…matching outfits, volunteering, fun outings…anyhoo…she’s skinnybmel and I’m Stick Girl JAM…it works!) and her husband Kelcey are big music buffs (Kelcey is in the band The Local Natives. Word to the wise: buy everything they’ve ever done. You’ll love it. Promise.) so take note of their song “I’d Have You Anytime” by George Harrison which played during the #melceylove extravaganza that was the wedding they won from YEAH!weddings. True story.
  • I was a little flower girl when my sister Diane danced to “Just As Long As I Have You” by Don Williams…with puffy sleeves, big fabulous hair and all. (Sorry sister, couldn’t help it!)
  • Some of you may know my friend Matt from his site the Princeples of Dating. Matt and his new bride Nicole took their first spin on the dance floor to “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz and also had a choreographed dance planned to “You” by Chris Young.

My friends on Facebook chimed in with great ones including some of my almosts and some I had fun looking up and listening to such as “Someone Like You” by Van Morrison (one of my all-time faves!), “Everything” by Michael Buble (super fun and sweet), “True Companion” by Marc Cohn, “Forever” by Ben Harper, the duet “Lucky” by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat, and “Stars Would Fall” by Monk and Neagle (had to look it up but I love it now!).

Sometimes I hear Joshua Radin’s “Lovely Tonight” and wish we would’ve chosen that one. I love it so much it almost makes me sad that I can’t hear it and think “this is our song!” but since Mumbles and I don’t officially have a song, this might just be one of those things where I can announce “this is our song!” whenever it comes on and he’ll be none the wiser. Or I’ll simply close my eyes and image Dermot Mulroney singing softly…okay…yeah, I’m back. Joshua Radin performed “Today” for Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi at their wedding reception because, you know, celebrities are lucky like that. Also a stellar song for your wedding day. (On a side note: my brother and Mumbles did sneakily call Tyrone Wells to try to arrange for him to surprise me at our wedding with a few songs, but alas, it didn’t work out.)

I don’t know of anyone shopping for a song right now, but my pick of the moment would be “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes…I melt a little every time I hear it.

What was your first dance song or what song would you choose today?

 

What’s cuter than baby clothes?

Posted in Thoughts & Stories by

Nothing. Nothing is cuter than baby clothes. I never thought I’d like shopping for anyone more than myself but BFOTB (I guess that makes me the BFOTBM now: Best Friend of the Baby Mama) is expecting a gorgeous (I know she will be!) bundle of joy next week (!) and I am already smitten. To top it all off, Mumbles’s brother and his wife are also expecting, so needless to say, I’m obsessed with darling baby fashions in anticipation of these love bugs. Check out some of the styles I’m coveting…

Darling ruffled, striped bathing suit (check out the back!) for beach days:

How about this precious bow? (they also have a onesie with glasses, a bow tie, mustache and more for young dapper dudes)

Because BFOTB and I are quite proud of a strong bond between us: a mutual love of Harry Potter, this one seems appropriate:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These bloomers?  Beachy chic! I can’t even stand how adorable they are.

 

 

 

 

And for fall and winter, this sweater is so darling, I’d wear it. It even comes with a matching hat!

This fair isle hat with tassels has a bit more girly pizzazz:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Per usual, I’m getting way ahead of myself and already perusing the 1-5 year old section.  But seriously, how cute is this new collection from Baby Gap?  You can’t blame me. It’s just too much fabulous in one tiny package.

 

 

 

 

 

Where do you find the best fashion finds for babies? My favorite local online retailer, Ruche, recently launched a baby line — swoon!  For more (p)inspiration, visit my Baby Love Pinterest board.