The Bachelor: The Women Tell All, season 15

Posted in The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by Jennifer | Stick Girl JAM

It’s a pretty short recap this week because this particular episode is a compilation of clips and comments on the season from the skewed perspective of the scorned women sent home.

We get previews of the new Bachelor Pad 2 and some crazy, drunken event that bring together past rejects from all seasons – an allspice of dysfunction, if you will. They try to make it all about another opportunity to find love but we all know it’s just about putting pretty people in one house to create drama and competition (as in who can leave with the least amount of STDs).

The lovely ladies back for The Women Tell All are (gosh, it feels like it’s been ages since we’ve seen some of them):
Sarah
Lisa
Melissa
Alli
Britt
Marissa, the sports publicist
Raichel, the manscaper
Meghan, the man who ended up being quite funny
Stacey, the bartender
Ashley S., the nanny
Jackie, the Wicked/Glee singer
Ashley H., the artist dentist and last one to be let go
Michelle, the crazy
Madison, vampiress
Shawntel N., the funeral director

After all the clips of the season the attention is on Michelle, the most notorious character of the season. Ashley, the artist dentist is playing the sweet hero to win America’s affection, coming to Michelle’s defense. (Perhaps setting up the audience to win their hearts before Chris Harrison announces her as the next Bachelorette? That would maybe explain the new sultry auburn locks, Ross Gellar white teeth, fierce red lips, and bronzed tan.) Madison also says she respects Michelle for coming in stating her intentions and telling the girls she didn’t want to be friends with them. That’s the last we hear from her all episode. What a bummer.

When it’s Michelle’s turn in the hot seat she is still teary eyed and stands by her story that a lot of the girls in the house knew what she was really like and were here friends. It seems like a case of producers picking their entertainment for the season. Kudos to them. Jackie even goes as far as comparing Michelle to a spider. Ugh, I hate spiders. I will agree with Chris Harrison on his point that Michelle’s commentary of the show was hilariously entertaining. Seriously, folks, read the recaps. She’s the best thing that happened to this season’s ratings. Once Michelle is gone it gets totally boring. I don’t know where it came from but after Michelle talks a lot about feeling guilty for leaving her daughter to come on the show Sarah and Stacey the girls totally blast here for being a bad mom. Chris Harrison comes to her defense telling the girls to back off as Michelle heaves sobs into her rose scented tissues. Just kidding, I made that part up. It would be a nice touch though, no?

Michelle says she thinks Brad needs someone like Emily.

Chris Harrison calls this “one of the most controversial seasons ever” and I beg to differ, sir. Brad is maybe the most boring Bachelor ever.

The nanny steals the show for a minute with a dose of good advice for all the women on the stage, in the audience, and at home: don’t act like a fool/catty idiot/jealous psycho/mental patient in front of a man. She comes back out later in the hot seat to relive the humiliation of getting rejected. All she wants is to ask Brad how she could be better wife material and also if Chris Harrison has any single friends. Ashley H, the artist dentist, again comes to the defense of her BFF to play America’s sweetheart.

Ashley H, the artist dentist is having her moment talking about regret and all she’s learned by going through this. She says Brad primed her for what is yet to come. She admits that she was in love with Brad and jokes that when he comes out she’s gonna tell him she wants him back and she’s a changed woman. Haha.

Brad comes out and immediately throws in a reference to his “significant other.” Brad says he’ll defend Michelle until he’s blue in the face. He thought she was funny when he watched the season on television and knows she doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body.
Ashley H. apologizes to Brad with very eloquent words, thanking him for their special time together and then runs across the stage to give him a hug.

Brad says he is truly happier than he’s ever been. He says he was in love a long time ago and he falls more and more in love every day. Chris makes his one funny but forced joke and says “it’s a good thing it worked out because we’re not inviting you back again.”

The best and funniest part of this whole season is the three minute bloopers clip at the end. Look it up on YouTube if you can.

Well, there was no announcement of who the next Bachelorette is going to be. What a bummer. Maybe they’re holding out for Brad’s #2. Let’s face it, up until this Women Tell All episode we all thought the artist dentist was super annoying. I would not have watched that season. Okay, I would have…but I wouldn’t have been happy about it. A little bit like this season, I guess. Ha!

So, let’s hear your thoughts on The Women Tell All: was Michelle really an innocent just trying to be funny? Do you think the nanny is now in intensive therapy? What’s the story on the “new” Ashley’s foxy new look? Why didn’t we get to talk to Shawntel or Madison the sexy creepy ladies?

And, finally, who are your picks for the next Bachelorette and who do you think will get Brad’s final rose??

3Mar2011

Whenever it is, happy birthday

Posted in Inspiration by Jennifer | Stick Girl JAM

Today is not my birthday but I was thinking about how I used to hate birthdays. I kinda still do. They’re supposed to be really special and fun and yet I feel a little bit of letdown on most birthdays – like the inevitable disappointment of New Year’s Eve, it’s never as good as it’s hyped up to be. I mean, as far as birthdays go, what’s the big deal? Everyone has one. They happen every year. So what’s so special?

You are.
I am.
I realized that today.

I’m important. And not that I never knew it before, it’s just that you really only ever feel important in big situations, ones that are grand in the scheme of life. And I guess that’s the thing about birthdays – they happen every year and everyone has one but that’s the key: to celebrate you at least once a year because you matter – everyone matters – in the scheme of life and in the world. You are important and special and deserve to know it.

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” – Dr. Seuss

Whenever it is, happy birthday.

1Mar2011

The Bachelor Recap episode 9, season 15

Posted in The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by Jennifer | Stick Girl JAM

This episode we’re in South Africa and I’ll just skip through the first 10 minutes of the show because essentially Brad just read my blog recap from last week aloud, minus the part about Shawntel the funeral director.

Chantal:
Chantal O. and Brad head off on a safari and Brad is excited about lions – it’s maybe the most excited he’s been all season. They decide to have a romantic picnic by the river, which they are escorted to by a gun-wielding man. Chantal says she feels safe with Brad. Nothing to do with the armed man standing behind the camera, I’m sure.

Brad says he misses Chantal’s family. We think he misses them more than he missed her. And maybe also the uber mansion.

Brad says he is definitely the most comfortable with Chantal, which could be good but could be bad. It’s new for him and he could just be trying out all these newfound emotions out on the one who puts him at ease. Chantal and Brad talk about what it would be like to get engaged and she says that getting engaged doesn’t mean ‘let’s see if it works out’ it means ‘we’re getting married.’ She means business. But then again, she’s done this before.

Chantal is happy as a hippo in love and over eagerly accepts the invitation to the fantasy suite. (Side note: does anyone else hate how the invitation comes from Chris Harrison so that The Bachelor doesn’t even have to work up the courage to ask the women to go back to the hotel room with him? All he has to do is shove an envelope across the table. I digress…) She says she’s done with dinner and they should hurry. They are staying in a tree house. BFOTB poignantly points out that animals know how to climb. No thank you. But Brad’s gonna see her Chantal O. face tonight, that’s for sure. (you’re welcome for that, courtesy of Mumbles)

Emily:
Brad and Emily have a short reunion before he says he forgot something. She is so darn cute. While she’s standing alone in the wild she says “I’m just thinking he had all gosh dang day to get ready for this date, what did he forget?!” and here comes brad gallantly on elephant back. It’s a good thing they are in South Africa otherwise it wouldn’t be as sexy…riding an elephant in America would probably include helmets and seat belts and all sorts of other protective gear.

Brad keeps telling Emily how much he wishes Ricki was there with them. Brad tells Emily confidently that he’s thought about what it would mean to propose to her because she and Ricki are a package deal. Emily is so smiley to hear all this and they have a steamy make out session.

Now it’s dinnertime and Brad is nervous, constantly reaching for the wine. He’s sweating. Profusely. Emily confesses to the camera that shes falling in love with him but she keeps thinking about the other girls. At dinner she tells Brad she wishes it was over, that she could begin her life with him…or not and just move on, and she tells Brad she really wants to be with him and Ricki. Brad is grinning ear to ear. He is so awkward giving her the fantasy suite card. Emily is pure class when she tells Brad she is a mom and wants to set a good example….but she’d be happy to go to the fantasy suite with him to talk and get to know each other better. I like her style.

Emily knows she needs to tell Brad how she feels because she hasn’t yet and he needs to know it going into the final week. Emily tells Brad that she is completely falling in love with him and Brad is quiet and relieved, then tells Emily that he is without a doubt falling in love with her. I think he just broke all The Bachelor rules by telling her how he feels but he justifies it by saying that he can’t listen to her say that to him without letting her know how he feels too. Yay, for ending happy (not happy endings).

Ashley:
It’s quite apparent going into Ashley’s date that this is the last one for her. In fact, she runs away when she sees the helicopter brad has waiting for them. We all know how much brad loves helicopters so for her to be this freaked out must be a huge turn off for him.

Brad and Ashley go for a picnic at a place called God’s Window. It’s absolutely gorgeous. They’re supposed to be having a romantic day but instead he asks about her ambition and career plans and it’s the first serious conversation they’ve had so far, which is a total mood killer. Brad seems put off by her ambition outside of being a wife who would move to Austin to be with him. Brad says he was in the same place she is now, only 10 years ago. It isn’t looking good, honey.

During dinner we’re distracted by all the gross bugs in their hair. It seems like Brad is looking for ways to make Ashley say no. They keep having to go back to referencing their carnival date, which was week two. It’s not a good leg to stand on. Brad breaks it down and points out again that they keep trying to reassure each other. Ashley accuses him of defying their spark and connection in favor of a wife and an easy situation that just fits. Brad doesn’t know how to respond so they resort to complimenting the food. Ashley seems resolved to the fact that it’s not going well and probably won’t go much farther than the fantasy suite. Which she accepts gladly. In fact, with no doubt in her mind. Idiot.

It sounds like the animal kingdom is sounding in on their collective opinion, overpowering the blah blah blah of Brad stressing about the predicament he finds himself in again this week.

Before the rose ceremony begins Brad pulls Ashley aside to talk and starts out by saying ” you and I both know that our date yesterday didn’t go well.” Brad apologizes but asks how they have such bad communication when they have such a strong connection. He’s not completely off base when he says that he still has questions and he realized that he was about a week away from proposing and still didn’t know where he fit into her life. It’s a valid point. Brad tells her that he doesn’t want her to sit through a rose ceremony so he needs go tell her goodbye. She says she’s very surprised, she thought this was going to be it for her. We can only be left to assume she’s pissed that she gave it up in the fantasy suite last night only to be sent home today. Brad is sad because he though that Ashley would be one of the last two ladies standing and that she’d be meeting his family.

Brad is a total lame-o and still holds the rose ceremony to make sure Emily and Chantal still like him back. Now’s your chance to run, ladies! Alas, they both accept so these are the two ladies left standing hoping Brad will get down on one knee.

Next week it’s The Women Tell All episode. Then in the final episode Chantal and Emily will be meeting Brad’s family in Cape Town, South Africa. We don’t see any family clips, engagement rings or any mention of Emily’s family (didn’t Brad say he would never propose without asking for her father’s permission? I believe Chantal’s dad gave a big yes to that). All we do see is Brad getting super emotional. Where’s the therapist when you need him?

Now it’s just down to 2. Who’s your pick?!

P.S. In case you’re interested, here are the new contestants for Dancing with the Stars, which were announced in the commercial promo breaks:

Sugar Ray Leonard, the boxer
Chelsea Kane, some Disney teenybopper
Romeo, Master P’s son
Ralph Macchio, the original karate kid
Petra Nemkova, model
Kendra Wilkinson, former playmate & House Bunny
Hines Ward, NFL player
“Psycho” Mike Catherwood from KROQ
Wendy Williams, a talk show host (I dint know her but Ashley says she’s annoying. I believe her)
Chris Jericho, WWE
Kirstie Alley, hot mess has been

28Feb2011

In it to win it

Posted in The Bachelor/Bachelorette Recaps by Jennifer | Stick Girl JAM

It’s getting down to the wire – just tonight’s episode and we’re down to the final two, The Women Tell All, and a possible proposal.

A big announcement came today from Reality Steve, the man known for reality show spoilers. He said he was wrong (again. He was also wrong about Ali’s final choice) about how this season ends. The new revelation makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I’m sticking with happy, though, because I just like hoping he’s wrong and thinking I’ll be surprised. Here’s the link to his website if you want to cave in and read his new predictions about who Brad will pick and who the next Bachelorette will be. I hate how the producers recycle contestants and you all know how boring I think Brad is. For that reason, I’m really holding out that Emily will be the next Bachelorette contestant. It would be a smart move since all of America is smitten with her and her sweet southern charm.

So, since we’re so close…who’s your pick to win it?
(uh, i mean, fall in love and live happily ever after with Brad?)

P.S. Next season, we’re totally doing fantasy picks (no, not guessing who says yes to the fantasy suite, for as my wise friend Sarah G. points out: it’s practically required to say yes) to pick who will be given the final rose. I don’t know what the winnings would be other than a happy kudos from me, but hey, it’d still be fun.

Get out your libations because – as Sarah G. also pointed out – the fantasy suite episode is always full of blubbering awkwardness and rolling around. Cheers!

25Feb2011

Judging books by covers

Posted in Thoughts & Stories by Jennifer | Stick Girl JAM

Books make me happy.
Pretty things make me smile.

The book store chain Borders has filed for bankruptcy (sad face) and my fabulous friend Sarah told me to get on over to the location near us before the masses had picked through all the good stuff in their huge “we-need-to-get-rid-of-everything” sale.

I was looking forward to getting books that I love but don’t own and I’d had my eye on some editions with newly redesigned covers to add to my library collection. After being in the store for an hour perusing the disorganized store I realized my arms were sore from the growing, toppling stack. I set down my selections and looked at many of the ones I’d scooped up. Some didn’t excite me much but were protectively cradled in my arms nonetheless for fear they would be picked up by the other book-worm eating vultures scavenging through the eerily picked-through shelves…like Bridget Jones’ Diary. I didn’t really need to have Bridget Jones’ Diary sitting on my bookshelf at home nor did I actually want to read it (a rare occasion – I’ve never read the book but seen the movie a million times. Fact: books are always better than movies). As it happens, I was just taken with the stunning cover illustration.

Instead of frivilously buying all the books with pretty covers to keep on my bookshelf where no one but me will admire them, I had a novel idea (see what I did there?!): I’ll post a few of the ones that I’m pretty obsessed with so you can see for yourself what fabulous taste I have whilst I save myself a heap of money.