It’s a pretty short recap this week because this particular episode is a compilation of clips and comments on the season from the skewed perspective of the scorned women sent home.
We get previews of the new Bachelor Pad 2 and some crazy, drunken event that bring together past rejects from all seasons – an allspice of dysfunction, if you will. They try to make it all about another opportunity to find love but we all know it’s just about putting pretty people in one house to create drama and competition (as in who can leave with the least amount of STDs).
The lovely ladies back for The Women Tell All are (gosh, it feels like it’s been ages since we’ve seen some of them):
Marissa, the sports publicist
Raichel, the manscaper
Meghan, the man who ended up being quite funny
Stacey, the bartender
Ashley S., the nanny
Jackie, the Wicked/Glee singer
Ashley H., the artist dentist and last one to be let go
Michelle, the crazy
Shawntel N., the funeral director
After all the clips of the season the attention is on Michelle, the most notorious character of the season. Ashley, the artist dentist is playing the sweet hero to win America’s affection, coming to Michelle’s defense. (Perhaps setting up the audience to win their hearts before Chris Harrison announces her as the next Bachelorette? That would maybe explain the new sultry auburn locks, Ross Gellar white teeth, fierce red lips, and bronzed tan.) Madison also says she respects Michelle for coming in stating her intentions and telling the girls she didn’t want to be friends with them. That’s the last we hear from her all episode. What a bummer.
When it’s Michelle’s turn in the hot seat she is still teary eyed and stands by her story that a lot of the girls in the house knew what she was really like and were here friends. It seems like a case of producers picking their entertainment for the season. Kudos to them. Jackie even goes as far as comparing Michelle to a spider. Ugh, I hate spiders. I will agree with Chris Harrison on his point that Michelle’s commentary of the show was hilariously entertaining. Seriously, folks, read the recaps. She’s the best thing that happened to this season’s ratings. Once Michelle is gone it gets totally boring. I don’t know where it came from but after Michelle talks a lot about feeling guilty for leaving her daughter to come on the show Sarah and Stacey the girls totally blast here for being a bad mom. Chris Harrison comes to her defense telling the girls to back off as Michelle heaves sobs into her rose scented tissues. Just kidding, I made that part up. It would be a nice touch though, no?
Michelle says she thinks Brad needs someone like Emily.
Chris Harrison calls this “one of the most controversial seasons ever” and I beg to differ, sir. Brad is maybe the most boring Bachelor ever.
The nanny steals the show for a minute with a dose of good advice for all the women on the stage, in the audience, and at home: don’t act like a fool/catty idiot/jealous psycho/mental patient in front of a man. She comes back out later in the hot seat to relive the humiliation of getting rejected. All she wants is to ask Brad how she could be better wife material and also if Chris Harrison has any single friends. Ashley H, the artist dentist, again comes to the defense of her BFF to play America’s sweetheart.
Ashley H, the artist dentist is having her moment talking about regret and all she’s learned by going through this. She says Brad primed her for what is yet to come. She admits that she was in love with Brad and jokes that when he comes out she’s gonna tell him she wants him back and she’s a changed woman. Haha.
Brad comes out and immediately throws in a reference to his “significant other.” Brad says he’ll defend Michelle until he’s blue in the face. He thought she was funny when he watched the season on television and knows she doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body.
Ashley H. apologizes to Brad with very eloquent words, thanking him for their special time together and then runs across the stage to give him a hug.
Brad says he is truly happier than he’s ever been. He says he was in love a long time ago and he falls more and more in love every day. Chris makes his one funny but forced joke and says “it’s a good thing it worked out because we’re not inviting you back again.”
The best and funniest part of this whole season is the three minute bloopers clip at the end. Look it up on YouTube if you can.
Well, there was no announcement of who the next Bachelorette is going to be. What a bummer. Maybe they’re holding out for Brad’s #2. Let’s face it, up until this Women Tell All episode we all thought the artist dentist was super annoying. I would not have watched that season. Okay, I would have…but I wouldn’t have been happy about it. A little bit like this season, I guess. Ha!
So, let’s hear your thoughts on The Women Tell All: was Michelle really an innocent just trying to be funny? Do you think the nanny is now in intensive therapy? What’s the story on the “new” Ashley’s foxy new look? Why didn’t we get to talk to Shawntel or Madison the sexy creepy ladies?
And, finally, who are your picks for the next Bachelorette and who do you think will get Brad’s final rose??