I didn’t get a chance to watch this week’s episode of The Bachelorette on Monday but I was still giddy to sit down and watch it all play out – for some reason, I’m really invested in this season and I’m still hopefully optimistic despite Emily seeming like she’s not willing to get too deep, thereby making it difficult to truly connect with anyone.  In any case, the dates were super fun.

One-on-One Date: Chris – “Love is a steady climb.”
Out walking the streets of Charlotte, Emily notes feeling unbelievably comfortable with Chris despite his intimidatingly dashing good looks.  They climb the wall of a tall building to get to their dinner spot with a view. Mid-climb a storm starts. Thunder. Lightning. Crowd forming below them. Emily freaking out. They make it to the top and feel a huge sense of accomplishment but Chris thinks he missed his moment for a triumphant kiss.  I agree.

Later plying Chris with compliments (likely to try to get some in return), Emily says taht he’s a confident, manly man and “if I saw you across a bar, I would not talk to you…I mean, I would be too nervous to talk to you.” Chris gives a little eyebrow raise and makes it pretty darn clear he’d run across the room to talk to her.

But, there’s trouble on the horizon when asked about past relationships and Chris shares his last significant other was his high school sweetheart. She’s not the problem; it’s his age.  Emily is clearly saddened to learn that he’s only 25 (a whole year younger than her…gasp!) and now he’s so nervous that he spills out words to prove he’s mature and ready to be a husband and father. Emily says she likes Chris a lot more than she thought she would.

They stroll down the street and happen upon a Luke Bryan (yummy!) concert in downtown Charlotte. Chris really wanted a kiss and out of respect for her asks if he can kiss her at the end of the song and she tells him to go on and give it a try. Looked like it went over pretty well to me but gosh, I sure hate it when they ask for a kiss.  Isn’t it proper ruling that if you have to ask it’s probably not okay? 

Group Date: Charlie, Alejandro, Stevie, Ryan, Alessandro, Sean, John, Michael, Doug, Jef,  tony, and Travis – “Let’s play.”
Emily introduces the guys to her best girlfriends so the girls can grill ’em to weed out the suckers. It seems like they are getting some pretty good info from the guys, including what some of them look like without shirts.  We don’t learn until later in the show that Alessandro made an interesting subject. Cheated? Yup. Had a one night stand?  Yup.   Sean, Doug and Ryan are the friend favorites.

“Sean is a genetic gift to the world.” – Emily’s friend, Wendy getting a little saucy.

Emily blows a whistle and lets a bunch of kids loose in the park (seriously, whose kids are these?). While the guys entertain the kiddos, Ryan saunters over to the gals and somehow manages to mention Emily better not get fat because he’d still love her but maybe wouldn’t love on her as much. Ooh ouch. No brownie points for you.  

Later on, Sean gets some alone time with Emily.  He sure is shiny!  He says he hasn’t dated anyone in a year because he’s really selective and looking for what his parents have.  He seems too good to be true in all regards but I don’t know that the family card (aside from being a father to Ricki) really wins over Emily – she doesn’t talk too much about any other family than her daughter. 

Doug the dad gives his 10 minute life story, tells Emily his dad had epilepsy, his mom left. He has a sister. They were in and out of foster homes. Emily tears up (too much depth, I think).

“You have bad days so you know when you have good ones.” – Doug, the profound father.

Tony is visibly upset, missing his son while he’s out playing with other people’s kids.  After tearing up talking to Emily about his son then breaking down after calling his son,Emily finds him and tells him to go home. In the nicest possible way.  But really, get outta here.  

Date rose goes to Sean for being true to what he made himself out to be. [super hunky.]   

One-on-One Date: Arie – “Love is a wild ride.”
I’m sure that Arie was stoked to hear that phrase on the date card. And I’m also sure he was pretty disappointed to find out they flew all the way to Tennessee to go to Dollywood, a big, southern theme park. They head into a theater to write love songs to each other and surprise, surprise! Dolly is there! She sings a song she’s written just for them. [no, it’s not good in case you were wondering.] They dance horribly.  I mean wow, that’s bad.  But Emily is all smiles. Dolly and Emily have a little girl talk and then Dolly plays them a love song she wrote for her husband of 46 years. “From here to the moon and back.”  You can bet you’ll be hearing that song again sometime this season. 

At dinner that night Emily asks Arie more about the girl he dated with two kids (they lived together and it was serious but the relationship didn’t work. Yes, he misses the kids). Arie asks Emily about Brad and why that didn’t work. Moving on quickly, Emily says she likes her own space so she’d be welcoming of Arie’s busy schedule. [read: I want a man to provide for me, but I don’t want him around …maybe why Emily never made the move to live with Brad?]. Emily tries to trick Arie into believing she was sending him home. They make out on the carousel and Emily confesses she’s scared by how much she likes him already and by how much he reminds her of Ricki’s dad.  I see a top contender, folks! 

Cocktail party
When Emily gets alone time with sad boy Kalon who didn’t get a date this week, he dominates the conversation, repeatedly cuts her off and talks over her.  He doesn’t help when he starts in on the “I always believed that my first child would be my own…” speech.  And then, the best part comes when Emily tries to partake in the conversation…

“I love it when you talk but I wish you’d let me finish.” – Kalon, getting feisty

“I do like tall, skinny and funny but I do not like tall, skinny and condescending.” -Emily, getting real

 Most importantly: I figured out who Kalon looks like.  Any guesses?? See below.

I thought the egg spashing scene would be a lot more cathartic. Turns out, no.  It wasn’t.   

Alessandro confesses he doesn’t have experience with kids and digs a deep hole he can’t crawl out of by informing Emily that becoming a dad and a husband are compromises because he’d be tied down…the conversation went a little like this:

Allessandro: “Yes, being a dad and a husband is a compromise.  I can’t travel, I can’t go anywhere….[Emily interjects to make sure she’s understanding correctly] …wha?  No. Aah, no no.  We’re not having language barrier issues.  I’m expressing myself.”

Emily: “And now you’re going home.”

Alessandro: “I’m living like a gypsy king with freedom.”

Emily is upset for all of 30 seconds until Arie consoles her with a big hug and kiss.  And now the other guys are fuming. Front-runner competition for sure! Plus, he’s got the whole racing thing on his side…I can see why the guys are freaking out.

Arie may have come in with a kiss and a hug, but Sean comes in as a knight in shining armor, telling Emily that his father taught him how to be an amazing father and that he would feel blessed to have Ricki as a daughter and if they were to get married.  Furthermore, he proclaims (without even having met her yet), that if he becomes a stepdad to Ricki, she can call him whatever she’d like but to him, she’d be his daughter.  Aww…a little too soon, but sweet.

Roses:
Chris
Sean
Arie
Jef
Charlie
Doug
Michael
Travis
Alejandro
Ryan
John
Kalon
Nate 

Stevie goes home. Ryan is a little heartbroken about seeing Emily kissing Arie so he’s ready to get competitive.

Next up: In Bermuda for cliff jumping, fireworks, bonfires, yachts, boats, racing, cliff jumping. Chris and Doug get in a tiff (a two-on-one date, perhaps?), and the guys question Ryan’s integrity.

Who does Kalon look like?  Ryan Phillippe.  Like Ryan Phillippe in Cruel Intentions, right?