The Bachelor Recap episode 2, season 16

The 18 women arrive in Sonoma to get a taste of Ben’s hometown, hopefully his wine, and I’d bet his lips, too.  Week two tongue action?  You betcha.

The #1 One-On-One: Kacie B., Ben’s Minka Kelly
Ben is feeling comfortable with her, their conversation seems easy, and there are lots of smiles and flirting going on as he shows her around town. They sit down in a store/restaurant that’s totally empty so Ben can show her how to play piano (True story: When I was young my mother forced me to sit down in Nordstrom and play the piano for the entire store).  Next stop is a cute little candy and toy shop. In what she cleverly pulls off to seem like a very serious moment, Kacie runs back in the shop to fetch something, comes back out, and tells Ben she has something very important to tell him…she used to twirl batons when she was young. So there they go, marching down the street hand-in-hand, high knees and all as Kacie throws her baton up in the air, and it isn’t long before Ben is catching it for her. 

Although only date one, Ben gets right into it, telling Kacie B. that he could see her in Sonoma. He gives her the rose, a nice first kiss, and tells her he has one more surprise: a reserved movie theater just for them to watch home videos of Kacie and Ben as children. (Why can’t these two interact with other people on this date? There were two random strangers they hugged at one point but other than that I’m not sure why the town had to be cleared out for this date to be deemed successful.)  The waterworks start when Ben hears his father’s voice. Even he admits it was a very personal and intimate thing to share with someone so early on. I concur, but then again, we really gotta cram a lot into just a few weeks so when you think about it, one date has to progress a bit like five in one.  So we’re good.  Unless you’re on a group date…

Group date: “Come play with me.”
Brittney, Rachel, Jennifer, Blakeley, Emily, Jenna, Shawn, Monica, Samantha, Jamie, Nicki, Jaclyn. (did I miss a few?)

Ben has arranged for the women to become stars in a play, written by children from the community. Again, Ben, a little too soon…crying in date 1, showing them your paternal instincts on day 2.  This guy isn’t messing around.  The foolishness which is auditioning for a part in a play written by children definitely shows who is willing to let loose.  I think Ben paid those kids to ask Blakeley, AKA the chick in the busom-bearing top, to run in slow motion. And jump around like a gorilla. Okay, maybe the producers went in on that too. Little girl = not a fan. Little boy = big fan.

Back at the house, Courtney is trying to intimidate the two remaining women by proclaiming what a strong, undeniable connection she has with Ben. She flat out tells Lindzi she believes the horse got the first impression rose, not her. But ya know, not to beat a dead horse…yeah, she said that too.   ‎Then came the wine gulp, hair flip, evil grin, eye sparkle.  And that wouldn’t be the last time you saw that sequence of events from her this episode.

Question: What do you get when you cross a gingerbread man and a hooker? (Answer below)

At the Sonoma Community Theater, the ladies act out the play with Ben. And it seems awkward but funny. Totally bearable in this short, edited down version but don’t get me wrong — I would’ve writhed in agony watching that in person.

Question: What happens when a prince kisses an ass? (Answer below)

P.S. I really like this community theater…totally looks like the town hall in Star’s Hollow.

At the first pool party of the season, Samantha can’t stand Blakeley and she’s not taking it well so she takes to drinking instead. And soon enough, she’s in the bathroom pouting.

Question: Who locked herself in the bathroom in episode 1? (Answer below)

Blakeley has her sights set on Ben and explains to him that she couldn’t help that her romper was so tight with her boobs spilling out in front of the little kiddos…she’s just blessed. Blessed in certain areas. Cheers to being blessed.  

Jennifer pulls Ben away for some private time in a secluded pool and works really hard to get Ben to kiss her.  I think she leaned in about 80% and I don’t think he knows anything about her except for what it’s like to kiss her. I also think she’s okay with that.

Blakeley and her blessedness lure Ben in for a major in-pool make out session that seals the deal when it comes to the rose. Ben describes the rose recipient as someone who “owned the day and the night.”  A lady of the night, VIP Cocktail Waitress. Well ain’t that the truth.

One-on-One: “let’s spin the bottle” – Courtney
Ben thinks Courtney is one of the most beautiful women ever. Ben brings his dog, Scotch, along on his date. Maybe she’ll say something snide about the dog and Ben will dismiss her immediately. Ben asks Courtney if she can handle slow time, small town and she says it’s what she’s hoping for. (Really? Living in Hollywood, dating actors and photographers…hopin’ for small town?) She also answers appropriately to every other question Ben asks of her. Hmm…sounds like maybe this model is trying her hand at some acting too.

Arriving on tractor to an intimate dinner under a majestic old tree, Ben and Courtney have what appears to be a very genuine and open conversation. I appreciate fully that he says more than once with caution something along the lines of keeping his guard up about her…”i keep wondering if Courtney is too good to be true. But if this in fact who we each really are, then we’re a good match…” and then after a rose and a few kisses, caution to the wind.

Cocktail Party
Lindzi gets some alone time with Ben and he reassures her that the first impression was strong enough that he could skip giving her a date. Plus, he still remembers her name.  All good things.

Blakeley steals Ben away from Samantha who is at that exact moment trying to redeem herself from being a crazy. She even used the good ole “I’m the type to hang with the guys, I hate drama, I’m cool, I promise.”  In a similar situation Jenna the blogger freezes up during her conversation to be quickly interrupted so the only words she could get out to Ben are “I’m like a guy, I’m not like a girl,” and his response is “I appreciate that.” At this point he could totally be thinking she’s a dude. Yeah, awkward for sure.

What else can a man say when he finds a woman he’s been making out with all week crying and crumpled in a corner amidst piles of luggage but “Uh, hey, what are you doing?” The identity of this sad, sad creature is Blakeley.  Ben gives her a good Chris Harrison inspired speech “take a moment, say your goodbyes collect yourself.”  Surely shaking his head in disbelief, Ben walks out of the luggage room disaster and  follows the sound of muffled cries into a bedroom to discover Jenna crying under covers…since I’m sure we are not playing hide and seek, this is not a good thing.  Somewhere in there, imagine Courtney and her  ‎wine gulp/hair flipevil grin/eye sparkle likening all the drama to war.

 Question: How cute are Kacie B.’s outfit and hair tonight? (Answer below)

Roses:
Kacie B.
Blakeley
Courtney
Jennifer
Emily
Elyse
Jaclyn
Erika
Rachel
Lindzi
Nicki
Casey
Samantha
Monica
Jamie
Brittney 

Sent home:
Shawn, the mom
Jenna, the blogger 

Answer Key:
Blakeley
He likes it
Jenna, the over-analyzer blogger/Rashida Jones lookalike (when she’s not crying)
Pinterest-worthy cute.

Next week: San Francisco
Trolley rides, fireworks, a live concert, bikini roller skating, waterfront dining, Brittney makes a confession/announcement, a blast from the past arrives, and someone passes out.

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