One-on-One Date: Lesley M. — “How long will this love last?”
Lesley packs her bags just in case she gets the boot (what a way to start off your date, right?) and saunters away with Sean to the Guinness World Records in Hollywood. Lesley says it’s normal and fun to hang out with Sean by herself, ya know, doing normal date-like stuff. But let’s face it: she’s totally bummed there’s no helicopter or fancy diamonds.
Sean tells Lesley that his dad set a Guinness World Record for driving the 48 states in the shortest amount of time. And then he tells he lays it on her (well, not yet, actually) — they’re there to try to break a world record of their own: longest on-screen kiss! A crowd has gathered in Hollywood to watch and cheer them on, which is super awkward and I’m surprised I’m not in the crowd live tweeting the awkwardness. P.S. In addition to wishing I was a florist so I could make a killing as a sponsor of this rose-filled show, I now also wish I had some stock in Chapstick. That’s gonna come in handy right now. Seriously, advertisers should be clever like that. Write that down.
The current on-screen kiss record has stood for over 10 years at 3 minutes and 10 seconds and I just tell Mumbles that I think they must have it wrong because I’m sure there’s lots of films with more than three minutes of consecutive kissing but most people just won’t cop to watching it. Ha. I kid. But seriously. Perhaps it’s for the rule that their lips must not break from one another (apparently no extra points for tongue here, which is fine by me).
“At first it’s so passionate and then it’s just a little awkward.”
– Lesley, who keeps making it awkward whilst she continuously claws at his head and opens her eyes.
More than three minutes later, the record is broken and they get a fancy framed certificate (but still not a lip balm in sight). Yay! Confetti. Now, onto alone time…Sean says he feels very comfortable with Lesley. And he’s even more smitten with her when she talks enviously about her parents’ marriage. It’s like these girls know that the family thing could possibly be a soft spot with this guy. I wonder…
Lesley shyly tells Sean that he makes her very nervous…she giggles a bit, tucks the hair behind the ear, blushes…and then they make out. Meet Lesley’s move. Works like a charm! Watch for that in future episodes. I’m sure it’ll be back.
To conclude their evening on the Roosevelt Hotel rooftop, Sean gives a lovely little speech about how quickly he’s developed butterflies for Lesley and as they kiss there’s a loud bang but not to worry, this isn’t my wedding night and that bang isn’t a drive by shooting (true story, but I digress…), it’s just more confetti being released.
Group Date: Kacie, Robyn, Leslie H., Kristy, Catherine, Desiree, Taryn, Amanda, Lindsay, Daniella, Jackie, and Tierra — “Who’s going to win my heart?”
“I’m glad I’m not on the group date because I have a feeling it has something to do with activity…” – AshLee
It doesn’t take long for Sean’s shirt to come off, at the ladies’ insistence, of course. After some frolicking in the sun, buzzkill Chris Harrison shows up and splits the group into two teams. After a horrible, clumsy game of beach volleyball, the blue team wins and the red team is frustrated, sad and doing a bit of sore losing if we’re being honest. Furthermore, I’d say Sarah probably would’ve played better than most of those girls.
Now that the group is down to half, everyone is vying for some quality time with our stud muffin Sean.
Lindsay is getting even more swimfan-like if that’s even possible and she’s already talking about being best friends and reading each others thoughts and I’m sure producers cut out a part about bunnies and sunshine to go along with those roses but surprisingly, Sean’s not scared off yet so they just make out.
Sean says he loves Desiree’s confidence and he doesn’t think he’ll tire of spending time with her. “You won’t; I’m fun,” she replies. I like her. She continues to share her philosophies on life, explaining that she sees beauty in the world and enjoys life and that’s why she’s so happy. Gosh, she’s just a doll, isn’t she?
Amanda tries to bring a funny lady vibe to her time with Sean and fasts forward to tell him how awesome she’s going to make their marriage. When she returns back to the group of girls, she makes sure to let them all know she’s getting a rose, which only grinds Desiree’s gears. And now Kacie can foresee there’s drama a brewin’ so she’s going to put herself back in the friend zone and tattle to Sean. But good boy Sean knows well enough to ask Kacie why she would bring that to him because both the other girls seem fine and haven’t said anything to him. “But why are you involving yourself in that?” says Sean, perplexed. “I just want you to act like Kacie, not like this crazy person.” Wah wah wah… You’d think by now she would know that the person who runs to tell the Bachelor something about the other girls never gets anywhere but gone.
“This has been a night I’d prefer to rewind and start again or completely forget about.” – Kacie
Sean gives the group date rose to Lindsay and now Kacie can’t stop crying.
One-on-One Date: AshLee — “Do you believe in magic”
Before this date starts, there’s a bit of controversy because Tierra thinks she’s being he house jester by saying Selma’s name is on the date card too, leading them to believe it’s a two-on-one date and someone might be going home. You can almost see it in Tierra’s eyes: the “OMG girls, tots just kidding! I’m such a jokester!” And the girls are not amused. And it’s probably a good thing it’s not an elimination date because I already had AshLee pegged to be going home. Ha.
While AshLee’s waiting for her prince to come swoop her up for her date, Tierra falls down the stairs. When the paramedics get her in the collar and on a stretcher, Tierra refuses to go with them.
“She will go as far as she can minus the hospital.”
– AshLee on Tierra’s performance.
The “magic” is at Six Flags Magic Mountain, a place for which AshLee is completely inappropriately dressed. The amusement park is shut down just for them for the day, but Sean has invited two girls with chronic illnesses who love The Bachelor to join them for the date. It’s a darling story, actually. Kudos to you, ya big teddy bear of a Bachelor!
AshLee says her heart is thrilled to see Sean choosing to give back. After a day of riding roller coasters, playing carnival games and winning oversized stuffed animals, the Eli Young Band performs a private show for the four of them. And it’s so sweet when one of the girls says under her breath that she’s never been to a concert. Precious. Also, Sean cannot dance. Awful.
During alone time AshLee tells Sean she wants a big family and would like to adopt older kids, and Sean confides that it’s also been on his heart to adopt children. After she tells Sean the story of meeting her dad for the first time, Sean tears up and AshLee goes in for the friendly hug. Sean gives her a rose. The band plays a slow song, they stare into each other’s eyes and have their first kiss.
Sean takes Sarah outside and a limo pulls up which freaks her out because she thinks he’s escorting her out to send her home but it turns out he has arranged for her dog, Leo, to come visit. Very nice, but all I can think is maybe he should have brought the dog at the beginning of the week since he left her lounging around the house without a date. Just sayin’.
Tierra is pissed off when Desiree interrupts her alone time so Tierra steals him back. And then that happens with every other girl. Steal after steal after steal. And poor Desiree was still waiting on that couch because hours ago Sean promised he’d return. Oops.
Kacie tries to apologize but Sean seems disinterested. Looks like having played this game before has not put her at an advantage. She’s been around crazy too long! Before the rose ceremony Sean pulls Kacie outside to tell her that he thinks they are better off as friends. Kacie says she left Ben’s season with no regrets but she’s got a lot of them to mull over this time around. Should make for some fun fodder for The Girls Tell All.
Taryn is sad she didnt open up more but wonders if shes not sweet enough for him. Kristy is level-headed but somber. And then the tears. Do you think Kacie going home was a set up to possibly make her the next Bachelorette??
Fast cars, fancy jewels, cuddling close, plane rides, bad come on lines, roller derby, and the reign of Tierra.
What were your favorite moments of the night?