What I’m Reading: “Here Comes Baby, There Goes the Marriage”

stick girl jam & mumbles lovers lane.jpg

Yes, Mumbles is wearing a “Shake & Bake” sweatshirt. It’s the name of the softball team he’s been playing on for like 8 years. I find it awesome, which is probably why we are married.

In the same tune as getting pre-marital counseling to focus on the marriage instead of just planning a wedding, what do you think about pre-baby counseling to prepare your marriage for the obstacles you’ll face with your partner as new parents?  This article from The Wall Street Journal is a few years old (and I can’t even tell you the roundabout way I came to find it online) but I thought it was interesting. I can’t tell you how many times since Declan was born that I’ve looked over lovingly at my husband and thanked God for creating him to be such a wonderful and thoughtful life partner for me. There’s truly no one I’d rather be changing diapers and doing laundry with.

Buuuut, I confess I’ve sometimes felt resentful when I hear the baby begin to cry in the middle of the night and check my phone to see that it’s 2 a.m. and I was just up an hour ago feeding him. “What now?” I think, “And why is Mumbles still snoring peacefully through the crying and the loud voice in my head yelling at him to wake up?!” But, then I remember that though breastfeeding is tough (and tiring), it’s not something that Mumbles can experience – he must watch (or sleep) from the sidelines.  For me, having realizations like that puts it into perspective and I truly believe that marriage becomes even more of a partnership after having a baby. Which is often why I’ll jab Mumbles in the ribs a few times to get him to wake up if I’ve already fed the little one and he’s still fussing around in his crib. “Your turn, honey,” I say (as sweetly as humanly possible at 2:01 a.m.).

How do you juggle your marriage and parenting?  In what ways did you prepare yourselves before baby came?

P.S. Here’s another article about a study that says couples without kids are happier in their marriages.