We’re moving! (kind of)

“There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” 
– Alan Cohen

I’m a southern California girl and there’s no way I could ever live anywhere else. In fact, Mumbles and I feel pretty restricted into northern OC territory where we’ve decided a la goldilocks and the three bears that the temperature is just right – hot enough to be warm, breezy enough to open up the windows and eat outside, and not so cold at night like it gets at the beach. Plus, our family and friends are here and close by and we like to live where we play.  Play and living aside, there’s also work to consider and all the hard work Mumbles and his business partners have put in these past few years are really showing in the strength of their company, a growing employee workforce and more clients and work to do. All of this which brings us to Virginia.

Virginia is a big, important state for the company, Quest (very fitting, yes?), and so we’ll be heading there for a few months to set up shop on the easy coast. (!)  I put in my notice at work (!) and we’ll be leaving soon. (!) Real soon. But to all my SoCal friends, not to fret! We’ll be back every few weeks as this 2012 seems to be the Year of the Wedding and plus, BFOTBM’s little baby Harper is set to make her arrival here sometime late next month (shower details and photos to come soon…promise!) and I just can’t wait to snuggle with her when she graces us with her presence. It’s an exciting time for us and what an adventure it will be. I’m sad to be leaving the work that I’m doing–because I’m not sure if it’s the same for you but I feel my identity is quite entwined with the work that I do–but I’m eager to experience all that awaits and share it with you here on the blog. Thanks, as always, for reading and for your support and encouragement.

Cheers to new adventures!

 

Meet Jane

On a sunny Sunday afternoon in May I was driving on the freeway on my way home. I was tired. Mumbles was away and we had errands to run later that day. While part of me just wanted to be at home relaxing with Baxter, the part of me controlling the steering wheel decided to make a stop at a local Goodwill store to see if anything caught my eye…maybe something but nothing in particular for BFOTB‘s baby shower.  Perusing the store, I found a lovely set of martini glasses (perfect!) and something else I now can’t recall but it’s nonethematter because the real story here is Jane. 

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This is Jane, right where I found her at a Goodwill store, sitting in the back corner next to the fitting rooms, intimidated by a daunting, head-high organizer stuffed full of bras.

 Non-chalantly waltzing my way through the aisles of furniture I might want to pick up on the cheap to paint or refinish (despite the fact that I have no room in our house for any new furniture), I decided to take a gander around the other side of the store just to be sure I hadn’t missed any hidden treasures.  And I had.  There, quietly sitting beside a wobbly stand-alone shelf of bras, somewhat blocked by a rolling wardrobe organizer in front of a wall full of discarded framed artwork, was Jane. At this point, we hadn’t been formally introduced but she was soft and lovely, with a mid-century retro elegance I was immediately drawn to.  Calm but excited I promptly but gently lifted the cushion to inspect – dusty but otherwise clean. Smell? Just the must of solitude, clearly unattended, alone for some time before finding her way here. A match? I thought so. So I sat. Comfortable. Confirmed. My mind, at this point half made up, was only further so decided when I saw her bright price tag sticker on her arm: $24.99.  Underappreciated? Well, yes, certainly here. It was all too easy.  Still sitting, purse in my lap, claiming my prize, smile on my face, I got out my phone and dialed my mother – surely she’d appreciate this event and help me sort through my racing brain’s conversation, which in the span of 4 seconds went something like this:  

“It’s in such good condition!  Well, then why is it here?  Maybe someone didn’t have room for it anymore.  I don’t have room for it anywhere!  It’s so retro and chic!  Is that person eying my chair?  I’d pay hundreds for a chair like this out of a catalog. $24.99? Really?  Something must be wrong. I don’t care. I want it.

I sent my mom a photo of my big find.  She gave the advice of a loving, supportive friend (which she is): “You sound like you love it. Get it. It will make you happy.  And, as your Grammy would say, ‘It’s too good of a deal to pass up!'” She offered to let me store it in my old room at their house so I immediately asked a store attendant for assistance to purchase and take it home.  They put the chair at the front desk where to my bewilderment she received attention from many-a-passing-shoppers.  I hastily and happily made my way to the front to join others in line.  Arms full of other goods, I noticed the woman in line behind me hefting a floor length ornate mirror.  I smiled.  Taking my smile as an invitation to talk, she relished in sharing her delight to find such a huge mirror for an amazing price, a perfect fit for her entryway.  Knowing her joy and beaming in it, I smiled, congratulated her on her score and in return, she gestured toward my arms and complimented my finds. 

“Oh, this isn’t even the best part – I found an amazing chair! It’s right over there,” I exclaimed, gesturing toward my prize. With what I could see was a glaze of tears almost filling her eyes she told me, “that’s my chair – well, it was my mother’s chair – I just dropped it off here a few hours ago.”

The conversation rallied between a solemn appreciation and a delightful enjoyment of this special moment.  

“I’m so happy to be meeting you. My mother loved that chair and she would be so happy to see you with it, such a lovely young woman,” she told me.

I assured her of my appreciation for the chair, told her I fancy myself an old soul, and that my husband and I are coming up on our second anniversary, our first year living in our first home.  Still smiling, slowly inching forward in line toward the register, she shared that her mother had greatly cared for the chair, and after I mentioned it being in such good condition she informed me that her mother had just had it reupholstered. In fact she had helped pick out the fabric; her mother insisting it stay true to it’s original 1960’s look, and then, sadly, that once back in her mother’s home that the chair had not been sat in, her mother soon passed away.  

“May I ask your mother’s name?” I inquired.

“Jane,” she replied with a firm fondness in her voice.

I told her of the coincidence and again of my joy in this moment – having just called my mother to share my good fortune with her. My mother whose middle name is Jane.  Brightly, she smiled and laughed. 

“My mother would be so happy,” she said.

We waited and chatted just minutes more – I noticed a few people passing by the chair, inquiring of its availability for purchase while the attachment I felt already had me panicked, my heart overflowing with sentimental pride of near possession.  I let it go and turned back to Jane’s daughter to say to her genuinely that I was so pleased to have met her, to have learned a bit of her mother’s story, and to have shared a real connection with her that day. When I arrived at my parents’ home just a few miles away, my mom laughed upon seeing the sparkle in my eyes and the chair in her driveway.  

“You are such an old soul,” she proclaimed.  Not new news.  “My family had a sofa just like this when I was growing up, except with a putrid orange color in it.”

Once upstairs, my dad came to investigate. 

“Hey, where’d you find the chair?” he asked, somewhat perplexed, as if my mother had been storing this chair somewhere unbeknownst to him since the late 60’s just waiting for the right time to bring it back out again.  “I had a couch like that when I was little but there was some blue in it.”

“Her name is Jane,” I told them before sharing bits of the story I had just lived, a memory I already cherished sweetly. 

We laughed, the three of us, together in my old room looking at how oddly it did seem to fit right there, matching the decor, proudly at home next to a photo of me with my mother and her mother, in the room I spent some good years growing up in.   

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Jane in my old bedroom at my parents’ house. Looks like she fits right in next to a photo of me as a child with my beautiful mom and Grammy.

How I Met Mumbles

Some of you reading this know the story because you were there, or because maybe you read about it on our wedding website or I’ve told a version of the story over dinner or drinks upon being asked or you patiently listened unwilling when I gushed about every detail there ever was after Mumbles proposed.  But for those of you that haven’t heard it, I thought I’d share the story of how I met Mumbles.  If memory serves, yesterday would have been the anniversary of our first date eight years ago. 

It was a spring semester at California State University, Fullerton, when sitting in Geology class in an ordinary, cold classroom in McCarthy Hall that I first laid eyes on Mumbles.  I thought he was oh-so-dreamy and whenever he’d saunter into class, I’d perk up just a little hoping to catch his eye.  A first year member of sorority, I soon noticed that Mumbles was a member of the fraternity that happened to be paired with our sorority for that year’s Greek Week event in April, noting his dashing good looks were a bit diminished with his enthusiastically competitive Mohawk. (okay, yes, I kinda liked it.)

It was days after said event that I noticed him on campus speaking with one of my sorority sisters and decided to do some Nancy Drew-esque investigating, which in this day and age involved some serious sleuthing: sending said sorority sister an inquisitive text message asking for information about the cute fraternity guy I had been drooling over in class. From a somewhat terse reply I learned only that dreamy guy’s name was Johnny and that said sorority sister seemed displeased to have been asked about him. Not understanding why she seemed upset, another sorority sister offered an explanation: they’re dating. “Of course the boy I think is cute is already dating one of my sorority sisters,” I reasoned. And I left it at that.

But it wouldn’t be left for long. Later that week, I bumped into Mumbles on campus while he was campaigning for student office.

“Hi, I’m [Mumbles], we’re in the same geology class,” he said.

A little bit in shock at the name he gave so nonchalantly but secretly happy that cute fraternity guy was chatting me up, I wondered what kind of jerk gives a girl the wrong name. Wrong phone numbers, sure, I’ve heard of that…but the wrong name? Wow, college guys really step it up a notch! (I did eventually learn the truth about the name mix-up: sorority sister had been talking with Mumbles when I spotted them but the pair were very quickly joined by Mumbles’s roommate, Johnny, after which Mumbles then walked away. Thus, she had been standing with the real Johnny when the crucial text message had arrived. Gah!)

Mumbles explained to me that while he’d been visiting our professor, Dr. Knott, during his office hours to go over material, he was wondering if I might consider studying with him for an upcoming test. Blushing, I agreed (not confessing quite yet that I actually found geology to be interesting and, in fact, used to collect rocks as a child – in case you’re wondering: no, that’s not ideal pre-first date material). It wasn’t more than a few days later that Mumbles was knocking on my parents’ front door answering questions from Stick Girl’s Dad about his intentions and devouring baked goodies made by Stick Girl’s Mom.

With all the time Mumbles and I spent studying together, we probably should have received A’s, but chapter reviews and vocabulary memorization gave way quickly to long conversations about life, faith, family, and love. Feeling butterflies in my stomach but also very comfortable around him (is there such a thing as calm butterflies?), I surprised myself when I asked Mumbles to take me to my sorority’s spring formal just a few short weeks away. I was shocked yet again when his reply was an indecisive, “Can I get back to you about it?”

Huh. College guys.

Later agreeing to take me to the formal, I wondered if it we were simply study buddies or if perhaps (fingers crossed) the butterflies he possessed happened to be the rarest, most calm species of stomach-dwelling butterflies the dating world had ever known. Getting ready with mutual friends just before the big dance, I thought I had my answer when – one lip gloss application from being ready to go – Mumbles was nowhere to be found. Asking around, a few people mentioned seeing him leave. (!)  And just as I was about to write him off and tell those butterflies to move on, Mumbles gallantly reappeared with a bouquet of flowers in hand.

And that’s the story of the beginning – how a girl who used to collect rocks as a kid now finds herself with a rock on her finger, having tied the knot with her best friend, Mumbles, the handsome fraternity guy from Dr. Knott’s geology class.

New blog design: What do you think?

I had a grand vision and plans for updating the Stick Girl blog this weekend and like most things in life, it didn’t go exactly as planned. Turns out I’ve got a lot more learning to do so until then, I’ve made some temporary updates because I was really feeling the need for some color. What do you think?

Welcome, 2012

Well, welcome to 2012.  

I want to start by saying that I’m glad you’re here.  Whether we’re friends or strangers, whether you enjoy my writing or you’re here as an avid Bachelor recap reader or even if you found this blog by random Google search, I’m glad you’ve made your way here and want you to know how that I appreciate your contributions, your support, your banter, your wit, the challenges and the compliments.  In that spirit, I’d like to ask that you continue to not only read but also share – I love what you bring to this special place and value your opinions, thoughts, comments, and stories, and welcome them all.  

Today is Monday – the first workday of the year and based on the morning news, Facebook, Twitter, and the many blogs that I’ve read thus far today, it’s clear that everyone is optimistic, hopeful and eager to welcome all that this year will bring.  I’ve also noticed that right now much of the world is focused on resolutions and making goals for the year – most all of which are centered on living healthy and being happy…and isn’t that really what it’s all about? 

In thinking about the New Year, new starts, and new goals, I am reminded of this article in USA Today which discusses the difference between resolutions and intentions: “An intention is a direction – a course you set for yourself.  You can’t fail at an intention; sometimes you can just get off course.  And intentions are positive. Studies show that you’re more likely to succeed at goals that you feel positively about – getting healthy – than at those that are seen as negative, like going on a diet.”

So, this year, why not actually succeed at what you hope for?  Try establishing a set of intentions, and see to it that the things you do in your life this year help you get there.  Or, try this approach: blogger Tim Walker tried out a method used by social media guru Chris Brogan, who at the beginning of each year decides upon three words that will be his focused themes or mantras.  In Tim’s words, “There’s something to be said for this approach, as opposed to setting resolutions. Among other things, it helps you to think thematically about things that are important to you — a positive attitude, for example — rather than getting stuck in the technicalities (and attendant frustrations) of a particular goal, such as losing 30 pounds.” In 2011, Tim chose Calm. Clean. Bodacious. as his three words. Click here to see why he chose those three words and leave a comment below if you’re willing to share what your three words will be for 2012. 

One of my intention words for the year will definitely be Happy.  I like the idea of the word Bold too.  I haven’t quite nailed down a third but I know it will present itself. Probably in some version or form of Create or Share.

Again borrowing from Chris Brogan, I wanted to inspire you to think about your three words with this post about Paying Yourself First (or the idea of Filling Your Own Cup, which I wrote about here), the philosophy in which you give yourself the permission, time and space to do what serves you best so that you can restfully, happily, creatively, and usefully serve others.  It’s my wish for you, and for me too. 

Wishing you a happy, healthy 2012!

P.S. If you subscribe to my posts via email (thank you!), I apologize if you received this post via email twice. Consider the first one a subscribers-only sneak preview!