The Bachelorette Recap, episode 2 season 8

After last week’s first episode and meeting of the men vying for Emily’s affection, I told you that Ryan was one of my favorites.  And what do you know? This week, hunky former football player is up first for a one-on-one date. 

One-on-one date: Ryan — “Be my King in the Queen’s city”
If it’s even possible, I swoon even more when Ryan advises the other men: “My pastor always told me, ‘If you treat a woman like a queen she’ll treat you like a king.'”  Sigh…

Before their date, Emily tells us that Ryan makes her nervous because he’s so good looking.  I agree. But, she also worries that he may be a little bit too much like Brad, and in that sense, she hopes his dashing good looks don’t get in the way of good judgment.  Good luck with that, sweetheart.

Emily takes Ryan home to her house, pulls into the driveway and tells Ryan to unload the groceries. Not exactly the helicopter/plane/hot air balloon ride be was hoping for, but we can guess there will plenty of that later on this season.

On their date – a ploy to help Emily see how Ryan might fit into her everyday life and for Ryan to see what it’s like to bake cookies for her daughter’s soccer team, Ryan is put to the test in a floral apron.  Emily delcares approval on the batch while the other men sit around and ponder whether Emily will introduce Ryan to Ricki. When Emily and Ryan arrive at Ricki’s soccer game, Emily asks Ryan to wait in the car, as she’s not ready for her daughter to meet any of her suitors yet. Ryan is very humble and says he was honored to be part of her normal day and respects that she asked him to wait in the car. Aww cute.

The second part of their date takes place at one of Emily’s favorite restaurants in Charlotte.  A throng of people await Emily’s arrival to the restaurant like red carpet movie screening. Inside, Emily asks Ryan about his girlfriend, which I thought was odd. He quickly corrects her (“ex-girlfriend”) and it didn’t come across correctly but I liked Ryan’s answer about wanting to keep chasing a woman – his point that the chase shouldn’t end just because you end up together was a bit lost on Emily…maybe that’s why things haven’t worked out for her in the past?  In any case, she flirtily tells Ryan that if it’s a chase he wants, it’s a chase he’ll get.

“I want a man to come in and be the boss…but we’d both really know I’m in charge.” – Emily, with a sly smile.

They have a cute little banter back and forth about chasing one another. They go outside the restaurant where Gloriana is playing “(Kissed You) Good Night.” Emily says it was a perfect date. No kiss but a cute little dip at the end of the song to go along with that rose on his lapel.

Group date with 13 guys: “Let’s set the stage for love”
It’s always awkward in the beginning when we and Emily don’t know all the guys’ names and here she is welcoming them all to this group date with a receiving line of hugs.  The Muppets will be guiding the guys through singing, dancing and comedy for a show to raise money for Levine Children’s Hospital in Charlotte.

Charlie is very insecure because he’s still having speech issues as part of his recovery from the accident. He finds Emily to tell her that he doesn’t feel comfortable and she is supportive and understanding. I gotta say though, he didn’t have to be insecure – everyone was awful. Stevie enjoys the dancing the most (he’s got jazz hands). The comedians weren’t funny. Charlie was smooth but I wonder if now he will only get pity from Emily?

Chris seems to feel that he and Emily already have a strong connection. Emily says one of her favorite things about him is that he’s so good looking. I have a feeling that this season is going to be even more shallow than I thought.

Emily sought out Jef to find out why he’s playing hard to get. He seems really insecure but she thinks he’s cute, and to be honest she seems pretty insecure too, fishing for compliments from everyone.

Kalon aka “Chopper” cuts in on Stevie’s dance lesson and Jazz Hands is pissed. Just moments later Aaron cuts in on Chopper, which he is devastated by because they were having such an amazing conversation, he and Emily, both being falsely humble and batting eyelashes at one another (“you’re so pretty! no, you’re so pretty!”)…ugh, those two together are too much.

Jef gets the date rose for making Emily feel happy and comfortable. Chris [and all of America] is perplexed by this.

One-on-one date: Joe — “Come close to my heart”
They totally should have played “take my breath away” because Joe looks like the wind got knocked out of him when he pulls up in a limo to see Emily standing on a red carpet next to a plane. They fly to West Virginia, Emily’s home state, to go to the Greenbriar. They suit up and dive in.

Kalon says he doesn’t know how he’d feel about being a dad to someone else’s kid and the dads in the house give some words of wisdom to the group. Kalon accuses them of putting being a dad on hold to come on the show. That doesn’t go over well.

Emily knows already that there is a spark missing with Joe. When asked what he wants in 5 years he says to be happy with no regrets about his relationships and career. When she asks what that means he has no answer.  Trying to mask the fact that Joe has no clue what he wants except to sleep with a hot chick, she totally freaks him out when she says she wants more kids.  A lot more.

“It’s not about five years from now, it’s about fifty years from now.” -Emily

Emily is crying because she’s in this magical place she loves and Joe wrote a beautiful love wish for the love clock that said all the things she wanted to hear but she doesn’t know about him [read: isn’t attracted to him] and so he has to read between the lines and excuse himself. He walks away like it was a business deal, thanking her for the opportunity. And the awkward is amplified when the fireworks go off and she’s standing on the balcony alone.

Sean, Arie and one other guy (Travis?) didn’t get dates this week but my guess is Arie has nothing to worry about.

Cocktail party:

  • Arie gets alone time and tells Emily he dated a girl that had two kids and she is impressed.
  • The guys are pissed because Ryan already has a rose and is alone with her. Tony walks in to interrupt and while Ryan acknowledges that Tony deserves time with her, he urges Emily to read a letter he’s writter her.  (Umm..can’t she read it later?)  It’s painful to see Tony stand there for what had to have been twenty minutes while Emily reads (aloud!) all of the thoughts and dreams and aspirations that Ryan has put to paper.  It’s akin to Rachel’s letter to Ross, 18 pages front and back. Too much, buddy. 

Roses:
Ryan
Jef
Kalon aka “Chopper”
Arie
Michael
Nate
Sean
Chris
Doug, the Dad
Travis
Tony
John
Alessandro
Charlie
Alejandro
Stevie aka “Jazz Hands”

Going home: Aaron the biology teacher from Long Beach and Kyle also from Long Beach. That’s saying something. Maybe they got a two-fer deal on plane flights back home?

Next week:
Egg drop soup, anyone?
One guy misses his kid, one guy wants a kid, another would compromise for a kid…Plus, roller coasters, Dolly Parton, it looks like Arie and Chris get dates, and a storm is a brewin’!

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